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TOPIC TITLE: just need to talk
Created On 1/15/09 2:06 PM
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shtarkebachur
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1/15/09 2:06 PM
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i have such a need to talk to someone i can trust. i never had that experience of being able to talk to someone who won't hurt me. i'm conditioned by my experience with my mom to stay away from people because they will usually make me feel hurt and rejected.

i'm doing ok with my therapist. but he's not usually available for me when i need to call him to talk.

i just wanted to share this. i feel it will get better as i trust my therapist more. once i can open up to him, it won't be so painfully lonely for me.


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Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
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mouse
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1/16/09 3:09 AM
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I can relate to having a hard time when my therapist (who also has very limited hours and is hard to reach) is unavailable. I have found one friend I can call when I'm having a hard time. She doesn't know everything that is going on, but if I'm having a hard time, I can dump on her and she is willing or able (dunno which) to listen. She may not know that I struggle with suicidal feelings because of whatever I'm talking to her about, but she does know how to make me feel better and can reframe things that really need reframing (or help me do it myself.) You may not have such a friendship like that now (mine was a miracle it happened) but it is well worth trying to cultivate such a friendship. It's not as good as a therapist, but in a pinch it works.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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shtarkebachur
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1/16/09 12:45 PM
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thanks for sharing that munkster.


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Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
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killedlastyear
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1/18/09 1:46 AM
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i know what you mean!
i wish there were 24/7 therapists.
 
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downandout
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1/18/09 9:08 AM
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Yeah, and I know what you mean too. There are so many times that I'm feeling so desolate and empty and lonely and full of pain, and I just need to talk to someone - and I don't have who to call. I mean, I'm not going to call my therapist unless it's very urgent. I don't have any good friends. I have one or two people who can give me some support - but I can't call them all of the time!
So there are just sometimes that I wish there was somebody built in - to listen right, and say everything right, and allow me to feel my feelings and express my emotions and say anything I want to....
Good to know that there are others out there exactly like me...


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I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
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tova
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1/19/09 9:19 PM
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I'm really knew to this thing and am not accustomed to talking to 'just anyone.' I'm actually a little shy about this. I kind of feel like my issues are so private and personal that....
 
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downandout
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1/20/09 9:48 AM
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Welcome!
I hope you gain a lot from this forum.
It takes time to be able to express your inner feelings - because of course they are really private and personal. But the good thing about this is that no one knows you, and you can select the things you want to write about, and leave out that which you don't. You can get support, and noone ever sees you. It's a good place to just vent when you're feeling down, to get advice for something you're going through at any given time, and to just connect with others who may be in a similar situation to you.
Good Luck!
D&O


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I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
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shtarkebachur
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1/20/09 10:26 AM
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When I first posted on this website, i was so unsure about what's a "normal" thing to say, so i felt uncomfortable. Then someone posted to me that it takes time to get comfortable. it was true. after a while i realized i was able to decide what i wanted to share.

Actually, i am still nervous about posting. I'm just more comfortable than when i started out.


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!

Edited: 1/20/09 at 10:27 AM by shtarkebachur
 
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tova
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1/20/09 5:24 PM
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well actually, when I first started reading the stuff people wrote I was like "oh my gosh, this cant be happening!" I always felt so isolated and 'different' because of my challenges. I thought that no one 'gets it' and that I better keep to myself about it. I'm like two seperate people living in one body. From the outside you would think I have the perfect life. Hey, you might even envy me (the way many do-or rather did...whatever...) but in the inside I'm not even sure myself who I am, and sometimes I wonder if I even want to find out. Denial? no! just good old 'fear.'
 
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besuros toivos
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1/21/09 3:25 AM
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please have a look at contacts for more on this issue. its great i hope i gain alot from it


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a firm believer
 
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tova
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1/21/09 8:58 AM
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where do i find 'contacts?' I'm new here and dont really know how to get around.
 
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Aba
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1/21/09 5:35 PM
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shtarkebachur,
Did you ever have any luck talking to any of your Rabyim?
Kol Tuv,
Aba


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"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
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besuros toivos
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1/22/09 3:07 AM
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in this topic their is something called contacts in the list

be in touch


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a firm believer
 
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shtarkebachur
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1/22/09 1:22 PM
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abaof4: i never felt such a connection with a rebbi that i could trust him with my emotional life. actually, i never felt that anyone was interested in giving me the time to talk.


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Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
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besuros toivos
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1/23/09 3:37 AM
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just need to talk too.

important to speak to people and be in touch with people going thru a similar experience of difficulty?

be in touch
you can pm me anytime i would love to share experience


-------------------------
a firm believer
 
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gad
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1/25/09 4:57 AM
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Quote

Originally posted by: shtarkebachur
abaof4: i never felt such a connection with a rebbi that i could trust him with my emotional life. actually, i never felt that anyone was interested in giving me the time to talk.


Maybe that's why G-d enabled man to discover, in our times, psychological therapies. Because he saw that, in the modern era, man would need it.

And maybe this would help us usher in the Messianic era, when true peace of mind will prevail.
 
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