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TOPIC TITLE: intro thread?
Created On 5/26/09 1:31 PM
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oops
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5/26/09 1:31 PM
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Hi, was wondering if there could be some sort of intro thread - or is that not allowed? It's just that this site is so small, it feels like everyone knows each other, as someone with social phobia I find it rather frightening. I know everyone wants to stay anonymous, but if they could just give basic info it would help - like age, why they're on Frum Support, level of frumkeit, how they chose their username, etc.
 
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Holding on
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5/26/09 2:42 PM
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If it would make you more comfortable, sure, i don't mind. Welcome, btw

I'm a 20 yr old ffb female.
I originally joined for support for depression, but have dealt with other things as well. Ppl on this site have been wonderful and helped me with a lot more - support, questions, ideas/suggestions...
Most ppl. would probably consider me a 'typical bais yaakov girl', but idk... I like to consider myself open-minded and not judgemental.
I chose "Holding on" bec I felt like I was just barely doing that. Now I tell myself I've got to Keep "Holding on".

Hope this helps!
 
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Tiredoftired
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5/26/09 2:56 PM
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I am a 25 year old ffb male.

I came to this website after being involved in another website for depression, and felt that the detriments that were part of today's society would be limited here.
I officially go to a mainstream yeshiva and that is how everyone who doesn't know about my depression views it. However, the struggles of depression have pushed me lower, as I'm sure many of you could relate to.
I chose "Tiredoftired" since the main manifestation that led to my diagnosis was unrelenting fatigue, And I've had enough with the fatigue and the depression. Hence, tiredoftired.
 
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Aba
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5/27/09 3:12 PM
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I'm a 40-ish old male, very happily married, father of 4.
I'm a ffb-wsl (with some lapses) who after about 3 years in Kollel went out to work.

I came here looking for support right before my wife, a.k.a. Ema, was hospitalized.

My user name started out as abaof4 which signified my focus on the time was how to keep the kids "healthy". When Hashem decided we are going to have another child, Bli Ayin Hurah, I had it changed to just Aba.

I find it a real privileged being part of this community of very special people.

(Little vent here) Thought I understand the benefits of the anonymity it frustrates me. I am, however, planning a big party for everyone for shortly after Mashich comes.

Kol Tuv,
Aba


-------------------------
"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
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mouse
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5/27/09 5:22 PM
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I'm in my mid-30's and ffb. I have a family with great kids though one does have a disability (but he's still so awesome.) I'd love to continue this little "intro" but I have one great kid who is insisting on attention.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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downandout
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5/27/09 9:28 PM
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I'm a 23 year old married ffb female. Been coming to this site for depression, and have gotten a lot of help through it. I chose my name because that's what I was feeling like - down and out. Now, b'h, I've been feeling a little better than that (maybe I should change my username?).
Oh, and I have two girlies. They're cute - but a non-stop job.


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
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mouse
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5/28/09 3:33 AM
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Ok, now I have fewer distractions. (I wonder why??? -- HINT -- look at the time stamp .) I originally came here for help with depression and other diagnoses. (I also am labeled with an eating disorder and DID -- something no one else on here seems to have and at times I wonder if I have.) I was brought up in a Bais Yaakov-like household and had to make a concious decision to be frum because it wasn't what I really wanted for myself originally. I chose it in the end because it was the right thing not the easy thing. Anyhooo, I derailed. Many of my original questions here surrounded halacha as it pertained to self injury as I didn't have the guts to ask my Rabbi (for the obvious reasons.) I'm glad I got my questions answered as my life has been simplified in many ways since.


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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seb613
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5/28/09 10:55 AM
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I'm a 25 year old college student, single. Came to the site looking for support with Depression and an Anxiety Disorder. Was learning in Bais Medrash before college. Modern Yeshivish (television etc,) My user name is my initals and you can guess the rest.
 
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killedlastyear
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6/23/09 8:15 PM
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i think this is so cool getting to know everyone a lil bit better anyway. i'm a super paranoid 20-something year old who'd rather not give out too much information about herself.
i came to frum support because i needed people to talk to at the time (and still at times) when i was feeling all alone.
depression, self harm, anxiety, social anxiety and various forms of eating disorders over the years (currently "diagnosed" as anorexic, but that's just what they say, not me).
killedlastyear because when i'd made this i'd had a horrible year the year before and basically felt like i'd been broken and stomped on. i was in the depths of my depression and thank god i'm doing much better now.
 
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gad
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6/24/09 1:51 AM
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I'm very happy that things are going better for you.

I hope that we continue to hear good news.
 
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little sheep
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6/28/09 2:24 PM
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i'm a female in my twenties who came for support for s*xual abuse. didn't get that much of it here, cuz there aren't too many people dealing with it, but i did get a lot of help for my anxiety and depression here!


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"I'm getting better and better every day, in every way, with the help of Yud-Kay-Vav-Kay"~Rabbi Label Lam
 
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ChannieL
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I'm a 23 (ok almost 24)-year-old single ffb female and i just joined. (Hi!) I actually checked out this site like a year ago and have been reading and reading (and reading!) posts here. I was amazed/depressed/relieved that there are so many people out there with issues similar to mine. I was always kinda nervous to post myself (because of social issues and I'm also a little paranoid when it comes to saying things about myself online). Recently, though, I decided that this would be a good place for me to vent. And there are times that i feel like if i dont vent i may explode! I do journal sometimes but pen and paper dont offer much in terms of comfort and chizuk.
(btw, I like your quote Little Sheep)


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Yehiyeh Tov
 
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downandout
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7/2/09 1:19 PM
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Hi! Welcome aboard!
I'm sure you will get lots of encouragement and feedback on this site - I have. This place has really helped me through a lot of my hard times, and continues to be a place that I get chizuk and warmth from.
Good luck!


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I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
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frumsw
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Hi, frum social worker in low 40s, suffered with depression for many years, husband strugging with anxiety, had many marital issues, 4 great kids-one married, one with learning disabilities...all in all doing much better these days. It's been so long that I don't even remember why I logged in but it was probably for support while I was depressed. In any event, I always feel better and "normal" after logging in, even if it was just to support someone else. Welcome aboard!


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frumsw
 
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ChannieL
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Thanx for the welcome!

I've been suffering from depression and anxiety but b"H it's gotten much better. I'm still struggling because I have a...um...complicated family situation that i still have to deal with, but i'm getting better at dealing (at least somewhat).


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Yehiyeh Tov
 
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gad
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I'm glad that it's improving for you.

Hope to hear good news.
 
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ChannieL
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I'm a little disappointed that no one has commented here in a while. No one else wants to introduce themselves?? No one wanted to ask me what i meant by "um...complicated"?? I was kinda hoping someone would. i think i'd rather answer questions than volunteer info. but i guess people were being sensitive and didn't want to pry. So i guess i will volunteer some details. i am currently living with the person who abused me when i was younger. i know that 23 is more than old enough for me to move out, but it's not that simple. so i'm kinda stuck for now. What's great (ok i'm being totally sarcastic here) is that not only do i get to see him all the time, but i also get to see other people treat him like everything's totally normal, like he's done nothing wrong. B"H i have gotten much better at dealing with this, but it's still hard. can anyone relate???


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Yehiyeh Tov
 
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killedlastyear
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7/22/09 9:42 AM
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i think since we're all dealing with "difficult" situations we're prob especially sensitive about stuff and don't want to pry.
i also think the whole point of this post was to "volunteer details" :-p.
sorry you're situation is pretty bad right now.
does anyone else know about the abuse?
if you're looking for advice (or even just to vent) i suggest starting a topic on this site under the category you feel most appropriate (you mentioned anxiety and depression...or even general mental health). you might get more responses doing that.

welcome, btw
 
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channafofanna
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BY girl FFB, modern family, curently off the derech (angry at god)
sturggling with depression, and eating issues (and e/t coming along with those two)
 
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Interested
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hi!
I am male, high 20's, ffb who is suffering with depression/anxiety/ocd life experiences. I am currently in an accelerated nursing program with my original plan being to become an Nurse Practitioner. My life experiences (primarily of the mind) have been utterly painful and challenging for quite a few years. It feels as if I have only regressed over the years. I am currently seeing a therapist and taking meds but neither have been significantly effective. I have never felt as horrible as I do now. It seems like no one can help me and apparently I cannot help myself.

G-d? I dunno where he is as I have given up on that route after praying and praying without any change. I don't have the mental energy to try anymore. I want to change on a foundational level but it seems that I am incapable of such change. Yay, I have insight galore....but it hasn't gotten me anywhere! I dunno what will be but I know I cannot live much longer like this.
 
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gad
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Quote

Originally posted by: channafofanna
BY girl FFB, modern family, curently off the derech (angry at god)
sturggling with depression, and eating issues (and e/t coming along with those two)


Sorry that you are going through a difficult time. I hope things improve for you.
 
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gad
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Originally posted by: Interested
hi!
I am male, high 20's, ffb who is suffering with depression/anxiety/ocd life experiences. I am currently in an accelerated nursing program with my original plan being to become an Nurse Practitioner. My life experiences (primarily of the mind) have been utterly painful and challenging for quite a few years. It feels as if I have only regressed over the years. I am currently seeing a therapist and taking meds but neither have been significantly effective. I have never felt as horrible as I do now. It seems like no one can help me and apparently I cannot help myself.

G-d? I dunno where he is as I have given up on that route after praying and praying without any change. I don't have the mental energy to try anymore. I want to change on a foundational level but it seems that I am incapable of such change. Yay, I have insight galore....but it hasn't gotten me anywhere! I dunno what will be but I know I cannot live much longer like this.


Hi. I hope things improve for you.

In general we don't know now why people suffer. But the day will come when we will understand and appreciate it.
In the meantime, I hope that you will soon be able to find relief in good health, and that you will be able to post good news.
 
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gad
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Originally posted by: ChannieL
I'm a little disappointed that no one has commented here in a while. No one else wants to introduce themselves?? No one wanted to ask me what i meant by "um...complicated"?? I was kinda hoping someone would. i think i'd rather answer questions than volunteer info. but i guess people were being sensitive and didn't want to pry. So i guess i will volunteer some details. i am currently living with the person who abused me when i was younger. i know that 23 is more than old enough for me to move out, but it's not that simple. so i'm kinda stuck for now. What's great (ok i'm being totally sarcastic here) is that not only do i get to see him all the time, but i also get to see other people treat him like everything's totally normal, like he's done nothing wrong. B"H i have gotten much better at dealing with this, but it's still hard. can anyone relate???


You are in a lot of emotional pain. It sounds like getting away would be therapeutic for you. I wonder if you have a therapist, and if you discussed getting away.
It's good to hear that you are getting much better at dealing with it.

I hope that things go from good to better very soon, and that we should hear good news.
 
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gad
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Originally posted by: frumsw
Hi, frum social worker in low 40s, suffered with depression for many years, husband strugging with anxiety, had many marital issues, 4 great kids-one married, one with learning disabilities...all in all doing much better these days. It's been so long that I don't even remember why I logged in but it was probably for support while I was depressed. In any event, I always feel better and "normal" after logging in, even if it was just to support someone else. Welcome aboard!


I just wanted to acknowledge the abundant professional help which you have given in this forum.
Your efforts are definitely appreciated.

I hope that in the merit of helping others, that you have much yiddishe nachas from your whole family, with simchos and good news.
 
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mouse
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ChannieL, I too had the same experience of living with the person who abused me for quite some time....until my mid 20's. I know it's hard to believe, but it gets better. Once you have the ability and stregnth to move out on your own, you will see. Best of luck.


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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gad
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7/24/09 6:21 AM
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Here's a link I just saw. I hope it's helpful.

http://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/article_cdo/aid/934222/jewish/Breaking-the-Silence.htm

Have a good Shabbos.
 
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Interested
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Originally posted by: ChannieL
Thanx for the welcome!

I've been suffering from depression and anxiety but b"H it's gotten much better. I'm still struggling because I have a...um...complicated family situation that i still have to deal with, but i'm getting better at dealing (at least somewhat).


I hear that its complicated. Are you open to discuss it ? for starters, why is it that you are still living with the abuser?
 
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ChannieL
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ChannieL
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KLY, thank you for the welcome!
Gad and Munkster, thank you for the kind and encouraging words.
Btw - i am on a med and do see a therapist, both of which have been very helpful (even though i was very anti the idea of taking medication at first).
Interested, like i said the situation is complicated. there are times that i want nothing more than to get out and go somewhere....anywhere that's away from HIM (my older brother) and the people who treat him like he's done nothing wrong. But then there are the other times..... I b"H have a younger brother and sister who i am close with and kinda depend on for support. I dont really want to leave them. I also, at times, can't see leaving my parents. I still need them and i feel like they need me. I don't want to leave my younger siblings OR my parents with my older brother. I strongly believe that none of us are in any danger from him, but he does continue to cause my parents tremendous emotional (and financial) strain. Omg, i could vent on and on, but I think it's enough for now!
I hope everyone's doing ok.


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Yehiyeh Tov
 
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gad
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Quote

Originally posted by: ChannieL
... the situation is complicated.

and sadness.


By using your intellect, you are influencing your efforts and emotions in a postive direction.


I hope that the sadness soon becomes replaced with happiness for you.
 
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downandout
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7/28/09 9:43 PM
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Channie...
It sounds like you're really in a tough situation. I really feel for you.
I'm really impressed however, and I admire you, that you are sticking it through to support your parents and younger siblings. That's special, and you must share a special bond with them.
Please, please, keep it up, and you never know when the situation will get better... (I know, I have to tell that to myself a lot.)


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I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
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mouse
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7/31/09 8:48 AM
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channie, i totally understand as i was in pretty much the exact same situation. the good news is it gets better. dunno when it will be for you, but when u r ready to move out u will feel like a tremendous burden has been lifted from you.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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ChannieL
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Gad, downandout, and munkster, thank you so much for your support and encouragement. I really appreciate it!!


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Yehiyeh Tov
 
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reach4thestars
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Hi! I Can't believe that noone replied in so long! Well I donno if anyone still reads this trend but I too just joined and I feel like everyone is a "family" as oops" put it. Anyway I'm in my early 20's I joined this site after reading it for awhile and the finding out that I have BPD tendencies which is extremely frusterating as well as eye opening to me.... If that makes sence???I have anxiety and ptsd as well. My name is reach4the stars because my motto is keep on going which I try to do.. I would love responces and from reading previous posts you are all amazing!!!!
 
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mouse
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. glad you joined the peanut gallery .


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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yanky
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5/5/11 11:09 PM
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Hi Reach!

You love responses, so here it is:

Welcome aboard!!!! I'm sorry to hear you (also) are having a hard time with life situations just like so many others here.

I'm a ffb in my upper 40s. I suffer from severe depression, fibromyalgia and anorexia (yes, adult males can have it too).
I have three daughters. In baseball, if you get two hits in three times at bat, then you are batting .667 which is off the charts (.300 is considered very good).
So being that I have nachas from two of my three daughters, I tell people I am batting .667 and therefore I am doing okay. But inside I am dying from the agmas nefesh I have from my third daughter. No one here should know from such things......

Feel well and keep posting. Please.

Yanky
 
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chocnpeanutbutter
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Seeing that I just joined I thought I should add to the intro thread - although no one posted in a while so I hope people will read it. First of all - it sounds really nice that everyone is like a family, like reachforthestars said, but I was wondering if it always takes a while for people to answer, cuz I'd really like to get replies to my posts (although I did get one - thanx Ineedspace!) Maybe we should spread the word about this site cuz it would be really great if we had a lot of people. What do you guys do if you're going through a hard time and you need help like, right now? What if no one's online?
Anyway, I started this post to introduce myself, so this is my story:
depression, anxiety, possibly some kind of OCD (see my post under OCD). Those are the DSM stuff, but besides for that, I went through some kind of abuse/trauma recently, which I hope I can maybe tell you guys at some point, and I have this weird addiction which can totally destroy me at times. As you can see I'm the slow to warm up type, and I can't really broadcast all my deets yet but I'm really hoping this site will turn out to be a source of support for me.
You guys - I'd love to hear from all of you, even if it's just to say welcome - please answer!


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Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.
 
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chocnpeanutbutter
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I forgot to explain my name. I didn't want to do a name which describes how I feel (that would definitely be 'lonely') because then I'd have to see that every time I logged on. So instead I picked something which always makes me happy.


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Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.
 
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wishtobehappy
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Hi, chocnpeanutbutter, welcome! I had the same question when I first joined (not that long ago), but found that there are lots of people on here, they just don't always post because they either don't feel comfortable doing so or just don't know how to respond and what to say, or like me, don't always feel good enough to respond and support others, but we're here and we really care.
now for the intro: I'm a 26 yr old female, ffb, married with 2 adorable kids, raising them while dealing with my issues is one of my BIGGEST struggles right now, been struggling with anxiety and depression and OCD since my teens, later on develped an eating disorder became severely depressed and started SI. recovery is just a very sloooow, and often frustrating process, with some improvement and lots of relapses, but really hope I'll get there one day.
 
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Ineedspace
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9/8/11 10:17 PM
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Now were talking!! Intro thread!! I like! Thanks 4 bringing it up!! I'm pretty new as well, still warming up, still trying to get to know my "new family". And yea chocnpeanutbutter, I try to check in daily and reply when I can cuz I know the feeling of taking the risk to reach out and post, and no replies! Ouch! Anyways, who am I, hmmm, complicated. I'm in my 30's, married, kids, always searching, always growing, went through a tough childhood involving abuse and neglect, came a loooong way, still am. I'm a pple person, I'm willing to be there for others in a way that I wanted pple to be there for me. Bye now...keep tweeting...
 
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mouse
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my last post didn't go thru, so here we go again....welcome to all those who into'd themselves recently. chocnpb...i luv the name...makes me happy too ....i need....well, i don't always answer immediatelly but when i can, i do....sometimes though i like to think things thru before i type, as my opinions and thoughts (pos. or neg.) may effect someone else's and vs. versa. what i do when i need an isnstant answer is call my doc, therapist or close friends...but they gotta be really really close if i trust em at all.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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chocnpeanutbutter
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thanks for the replies, makes me feel really good. I'm so happy that people really answer and care.


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Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.
 
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LuYitzlach
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9/22/11 6:16 PM
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for channafofanna and interested, i don't know if your still having the same struggles you wrote about (i see it's like more than two years old...) but just in case... maybe this will help...

I found myself in a similar position. First 3 (sudden unrelated) deaths in the family within a short period of time, then a kidnapping (still ongoing…) Plus I was (and am) dealing with ID crisis, depression, and lack of finances and there’s also significant amount of illness in the family… physical and mental/emotional… plus plus plus… and I’m not that big/old… and I felt like – come on G-d, I’m trying so hard to be good, can’t you just give me a little slack? If this is how you treat your hard workers, then I’m not playing your game and I’m quitting from your business. So much praying and so much trying to do good and all you can do is bash my brains out?
But then I was like, no way. I’m not a wimp. Whoever you are (either G-d or Satan) who is trying to get me to forsake G-d – well you are SOOO not gonna win over me. I am not going to let. I made it into a fight. Kind of like a dare – try and see if you can get me to stop serving Him.
And I tell you he sure is trying!!!
But now that it’s a fight it’s a teensy bit easier… just because I’m too proud to be the loser… That’s not to say some days I’m better than others but @least my pride is driving me not to give in… cuz my Good Inclination is kinda weak these days and he doesn’t seem to wanna help me…
Maybe if you “dare” G-d / Satan, hoo-ever it is that’s doing it to you, you’d be able to do whatever u gotta do… (religion-wise)
Sorry if I went a little overboard. Not sure if I put my thoughts into readable words…
 
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LuYitzlach
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9/22/11 6:17 PM
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Originally posted by: channafofanna
BY girl FFB, modern family, curently off the derech (angry at god)
sturggling with depression, and eating issues (and e/t coming along with those two)


sorry - i meant to quote this for the post above...
 
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channafofanna
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9/25/11 1:49 PM
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wow! ur strong!! it was really really realy well said!!! but im not sure the "doing" is what defines wether ur on/off the derech... what do you think?
B"H im doing ok for now, and that really isnt my "intro" right now, but thanks!
unfortunatly, i was the other way around, to stuborn/proud to give in to the fact that Hashem is there... daring Him to punish me.... if that makes any sence...
wow, i cant belive i wrote that.. thats like SO not me anymore... maybe i shud do a new intro...
thanks LuYittzlach!!! Hatslacha!!!
hang in there! its a bumpy ride!!!
 
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channafofanna
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9/25/11 1:50 PM
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wow! ur strong!! it was really really realy well said!!! but im not sure the "doing" is what defines wether ur on/off the derech... what do you think?
B"H im doing ok for now, and that really isnt my "intro" right now, but thanks!
unfortunatly, i was the other way around, to stuborn/proud to give in to the fact that Hashem is there... daring Him to punish me.... if that makes any sence...
wow, i cant belive i wrote that.. thats like SO not me anymore... maybe i shud do a new intro...
thanks LuYittzlach!!! Hatslacha!!!
hang in there! its a bumpy ride!!!
 
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frumsw
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9/25/11 2:07 PM
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Yeah, I also have a complicated relationship with Hashem. Most of my life He didn't exist-grew up FFB but His name was never mentioned. Got to know Him a bit in sem, then he was on the sidelines until I was suffering from my first bout of post partum depression. In hindsight I can see what didn't kill me (thankfully nothing did but it certainly felt like it would!) has made me infinitely stronger. I still struggle, like every human does, with our relationship. Now it's Erev Rosh Hashana and I'm having a hard time figuring out what I should do like do my daily challenges count for teshuva, especially when I'm getting better or do I have to commit to start saying tehillim or perek shira or something...
Anyway, welcome and everybody should have a healthy happy new year, better than the last one!


-------------------------
frumsw
 
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LuYitzlach
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9/25/11 3:09 PM
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Originally posted by: channafofanna
wow! ur strong!! it was really really realy well said!!! but im not sure the "doing" is what defines wether ur on/off the derech... what do you think?



No, ur right. “doing” doesn’t define whether ur on or off. But as long as I’m “doing” it’s going to be easier for my heart to get back into it. As long as I’m not totally fooling myself. And @least I won’t be racking in sins on the way… But I am trying to really do them because I wanna bring g-d pleasure, not just to “look it” and “do it” on the outside… don't always succeed...
But that was a good point.
 
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LuYitzlach
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9/25/11 3:20 PM
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Originally posted by: frumsw
In hindsight I can see what didn't kill me (thankfully nothing did but it certainly felt like it would!) has made me infinitely stronger.


yes, it's true it makes people stronger but i still wouldn't choose it. like they say, "neither your honey, nor your sting".

glad to hear that ur over the hump tho!

good luck with ur relationship with Him! (sometimes i wish there were some sort of "marriage counseling" we cud go to - me and G-d - like when it feels like an abusive relationship that i wanna get out of but i know deep down i don't really want to )
 
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wishtobehappy
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9/25/11 3:52 PM
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luyitzlach, you're amazing!!
 
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