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TOPIC TITLE: hUrTING !!!!!
Created On 7/23/09 9:18 PM
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Interested
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7/23/09 9:18 PM
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I am in an between place; my heads hurting, I am continually choking. I feel tightness and irritation in my chest. My thoughts keep vacillating. I am stuck in a perpetual moment of panic. Its seems like eternity! I have one week left to my semester but I don't want to finish. In order to attempt to succeed my mind becomes full of anxious "have to do" thoughts and I can't hold on to any of them long enough to see through and actually feel satisfied. I have made it this far but I cannot carry and continue on doing studying/school work based on fear of failure. I look at my life and I see that the majority of my motivation has been that fear of failure. I would rather be passive than do out of fear of failure! I want the other impetus for motivation: desire to succeed. This situation is confusing, fraught with despair and leaving me alone with no one who can genuinely relate. I am HURTING and i have no grounding.
 
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channafofanna
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7/23/09 10:05 PM
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i dont know what to say to help you, but you really do sound like you are REALLY hurting and i wish i can help
sometimes when im left without grounding i write in a notebook furiously, its not magic, but it helps a lot for me , maybe it would work for you?
 
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Interested
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7/23/09 10:10 PM
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writing over here gave me some short instant relief; the pain in my chest stopped for a bit. I went outside for a cigarette after and I enjoyed it. After realizing that I enjoyed it, I thought about just that: the reality that I had something to enjoy. I know that counting my pleasures/blessings won't heal or cure my issues but at least it can help the pleasurable moment linger just a bit longer. You ever do that?
 
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channafofanna
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7/23/09 10:20 PM
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no- but i wouldnt know, im to depressed to enjoy anything
 
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gad
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7/23/09 11:50 PM
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Interested, maybe the following suggestion may help.

To shelve everything and to tell yourself that you don't have to do anything; you don't have to finish the semester or anything else.

Later on, you can examine your situation and decide if you want to do certain things.

Maybe this approach will relieve some pressure, and allow you to approach the matter in a more relaxed and happier way.

Hope to hear good news.
 
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