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TOPIC TITLE: To Debbi
Created On 10/6/09 11:39 PM
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silent
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10/6/09 11:39 PM
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Hi Debbi,

Its been several years and a lifetime ago that we were in such close touch. Recently I have been looking back at the past seven years of my life, taking stock of where I've been, where I've come to and to where I am headed. During this time I have read through many documents, many of my writings and many communications which I had with several people throught this tumultous time in my life. I have spent several nights reading through many of our communications (On FrumSupport, emails and months of IMs.)

I have searched to see if you have been active on this website since this is where we first met. I have found postings from you from as recent as several months ago. Of course I can contact you by PMing or emailing, but I prefer not to. I would like to extend a public hakoras hatov to you (as well as to this wonderful website and its administration) for your friendship, support and openness. I see that you have remained in touch with the community here and I am so impressed. I am impressed by you and by the community formed here that is able to so whole-heartedly wlecome and support one another through so much.

Debbi, I hope you will forgive me for contacting you in this manner after such a long break. I feel that I owe it to you and to this FrumSupport community to acknowledge the assistance which I received here and from each of you. I remember the dark days when it took all my strength to make it to the next day. The thin ray which the alive human contact on this site provided lead me to continue forward one day at a time.

Debbi, I have thought of you often, I have thought of your courage to keep forgeing ahead, through the terrible blockades placed in your road. You are an amazing woman! I see that Hashem hasn't ended all of your suffering (Why!?!) but you have not foresaken Him, yourself or your family. I would love to hear from you.

Most sincerely,
your friend,
(not so-) Silent

 
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gad
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10/7/09 10:30 PM
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Thank you for your post which encourages others to continue to try to offer support on this forum.

When you write about how a thin ray helps, it reminded me of the expression that a little light pushes away a lot of darkness.

I hope that we will continue to hear good news from you and Debbi.
 
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Debbi
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10/12/09 1:54 AM
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hey silent!!!!

thank u for your heartwarming post!
its great hearing from u- you sound wonderful!
i am so so glad you had the strength to move on. What courage you posess- i remember how difficult things were, yet u refused to give up. i am really proud of you!

Thank u for all your kind words- yes i still struggle, although i will admit, my pain and suffering are on a different level than they used to be. i posess more hope than ever, that it is possible to heal, and that as long as i cling to that hope Gd will not forsake me.

sorry it took so long for me to reply- i havent been coming here very often and i just saw your post today.

hope to hear from u soon.

debbi
 
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Aba
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10/12/09 10:44 AM
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Hi Debbi. It's great to hear things are getting better, things seemed pretty bleak right before the summer. G-d willing things will keep moving forward.

Silent thanks for sharing your encouraging words.

Kol Tuv,
Aba


-------------------------
"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
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silent
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10/12/09 11:40 PM
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Thank you all,

It's been a very long time since I have logged on here. It's interesting to see that I recognize so many names (and icons) and that life goes on for everyone (whether I participate or not.) It is so nice to see that so many have remained in contact over several years and continue to take and give support here. I was drawn back here when I recently decided to look back at my journey over the past several years. I reviewed my writings here as well as other extensive writings and communications.

I B"H received my Get after awaiting it for over 2 years. Its been 2.5 years since I received it and I have in many ways healed from my experiences in my marriage. I still go back to my marriage and look for answers and look to understand things about myself but from the safety of calm, hindsight and insight. My 2 children ka"h are growing up faster than I could have imagined and each day brings more wonderment, more nachas and more to be thankful to Hashem for.

I am currently at a place of unrest because I would love to find a way to share my experiences with the world, help others through my experiences and find an outlet to express myself. I am so at a loss of how to do this. How much of myself do I let go of? How much do I hold on to? Will I end up feeling raped and vulnerable or understood and empowered?

Debbi, I looked back at some of your struggles over the past year - you have not had things easy and yet you talk so positively. Who have you turned to as your source of strength? Did you find the right person to continue your life struggle with? I would love to talk with you more...

Your positive forward-looking in face of all the darkness is a lesson for all of us to learn from. Keep up your amazing struggle!!

With love,
Silent
 
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downandout
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10/13/09 8:48 PM
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Silent - it sounds like you've had some journey, and have really emerged from it victorious. And you're right about the community on here - I've only been here a bit over a year, but I've been helped so much. I imagine you must have helped people too when you were on here a while back.

Debbi - I'm so happy to hear that you're still around. I've been wondering where you were, so it's nice to see a post from you... I'm glad that you're doing better. Keep it up!


-------------------------
I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
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Debbi
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10/18/09 1:25 AM
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Hi Aba and downnout, thank u for for your good wishes - hope u r doing well.

silent- my apologies for the delay in responding. I actually did write a couple of days ago, but then lost the entire post before i had chance to submit it. I got frustrated and didnt end up writing again.

im glad to hear that your children are doing well, and that u have the strength and presence of mind to be there with them as they develop and grow.

have u finished your studies?
would love to hear what u r doing now.

You say that u would like to share your experiences with others.
Is this your need for expressing those experiences on a different level? Or is it that you would like to give back and help others in the same way you have been helped, and also bc you know you can well understand the pain and suffering of others bc of your own experiences.
Maybe its all the above? Or a little bit of each?

The reason I ask u these questions is bc i think if you understand WHY you would like to share with others, and why NOW, and not a year ago or 4mths ago, then you might gain more clarity about how you may feel were you to go ahead and share with others.

wonder if this makes any sense to you?
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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10/23/09 10:07 AM
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Silent,
Thank you so much for your postings. I was so moved by your candidness and vulnerability, which you have shared with us for years. I am so happy that this forum has contributed to your journey and that you were willing to acknowledge it publically, not only for yourself, but to give chizuk to others...who are "silently" reading and wondering; "what's the use of pouring my guts out to a bunch of strangers that I'll never meet?!"...So, thank you!
a lynn
 
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Debbi
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10/28/09 9:56 PM
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silent- you dissapeared again.

i miss you.
hope u come back soon!
 
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silent
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11/1/09 12:29 AM
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Sorry, Debbie!

I have unfortunately not been a regular visitor for some time, and I neglected to check for your post.

I finished my courses almost two years ago, Baruch Hashem.
Thank you for your response. I wish I knew what exactly was behind my desire to 'go public'. If I could pinpoint an answer to your question, it would be much easier for me to write and find satisfaction.

I often miss you too. Sometimes I feel so close to the experiences we shared together and at other times it takes everything in me and I still can't re-relate to those experiences.

How are you?

 
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Debbi
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11/1/09 5:13 AM
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so glad to see u back!

believe it or not, still struggle, although i must admit my suffering is on a different level now, a much more managable one.

Im still in threrapy although I am now doing DBT which seems much more appropiate to my wishes of growth and change.

This is all i can write at the moment, but i will be back to say more!

have a great day!
 
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