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TOPIC TITLE: Being taken advantage of!!
Created On 2/21/10 4:10 PM
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toy123
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Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

2/21/10 4:10 PM
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I'm so mad and frustrated!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My workmate is totally taking advantage of me!!! I pretty much can't take it anymore. She thinks that because I only work part time she can just step all over me. First she wants to leave early, then it's calling me to come in for her when it's not my day to work. Then it's leaving me with all the paperwork while she's on the phone talking to her friends.... And I could probably go on.... It's so unfair. Problem is I don't know how to say no or tell her anything.......
Does anyone have any suggestions of what to do? Do you think I'm overreacting? I feel like I wanna quit my job now but that an unreasonable thing to do. HELP!!!!!!!


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Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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downandout
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2/21/10 6:59 PM
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I don't think you're over-reacting. It's really frustrating and upsetting to be taken advantage of. But, obviously it's not a solution to leave work because of that - you won't be fixing anything, you'll just be running away from the problem. (I know I left work, but that was for different reasons.)
I know it's really hard to say no, but I think that once you've said it once, it'll come easier and easier to you. It's hard - setting boundaries is always like that. It's especially scary, because it feels like by doing so, you're jeopardizing a seemingly good relationship with the person. Reality is, though, that by saying no, you'll be creating self-respect and helping your co-worker to respect you, because she'll see you now as a person with your own rights, responsibilities, and life.
Good luck!


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I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
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Aba
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Posts: 546
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2/24/10 5:29 PM
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From the way you describe the situation I don't think you are overreacting.
Boundaries are important in relationships the trick is how to be firm but not confrontational.
Good Luck.
Kol Tuv.


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"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
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frumsw
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Posts: 270
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3/3/10 11:41 PM
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The safest way of setting boundaries is using an "I message". It means that you clearly state how you feel because someone else is doing something and what they can do to fix it. You don't say-"You are so inconsiderate. You yak on the phone while I'm slaving away and you do this that and the other."
It's, "I feel very overwhelmed (or whatever you are feeling) when I have to handle all this paperwork by myself. I would appreciate if you would help me with this. "
It's scary the first few times you do it but it gets easier and it's great because nobody gets upset and you might actually get what you want. It's called being assertive.


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frumsw
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
Psychologist

Posts: 914
Joined: Feb 2005

3/26/10 10:38 AM
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good points!
a lynn
 
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