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TOPIC TITLE: advice welcome
Created On 2/2/12 8:11 PM
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chocnpeanutbutter
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2/2/12 8:11 PM
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so you guys know about how I have trouble keeping boundaries with people sometimes, especially if they give the message that they want to be my MOTHER. So at work I've been working in close proximity with a person with similar boundary issues, who sent these kind of messages, and it's getting out of control. I've been requesting to switch where I am stationed so that I can stop this whole pattern, but since I couldn't explain the real reason, everyone said 'try to work it out.' (They thought we were just having a conflict). I've made a decision now that I MUST get away from her - i'll even explain to supervisors how boundaries got crossed - any advice on how to tell something like this to a supervisor? I've tried every other way of making it work out and I know now that I have to explain the situation. Anyone?


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Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.
 
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channafofanna
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2/3/12 3:36 PM
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honesty? people respect that, even though its really hard to do.
maybe just be VERY vauge and casual so they dont think "OMGSH" but they do sooemthing
actualy, idk, im not sure about this stufff so i dont know why im posting...
(((((((((HUGS))))))))))
 
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Messed up
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2/3/12 4:51 PM
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I learned the hard way that being honest works the best. It may be hard in the short run, but in the long run, it really pays.

I'm not saying its always is it the right thing to do - like if its somthing that really should remain private, then u have to figure some way around it - like I wouldnt go around telling everyone that I have depresstion and ect... But on the whole, when its possible, its best to just be straight and honest.

Is your supervisor understanding? Is she someone you could trust? If yes, then I think it might work best if you ask to talk to her in private for a minute- tell her that you've been having boundarie problems - just keep it simple, light and to the point. No reason to go into all the details. If shes an understanding person, she should be able grasp the problem pretty easely, and hopefully she'll be able to accomidate you.

I admire that your trying to stop this pattern and do whats good for you, even though its so difficult.

Good Luck and let us know how it goes!
 
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frumsw
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2/7/12 10:13 PM
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How about saying, "We get along so well that it's going to effect the quality of my work"? You know, how in school if two kids were too good friends so they were talking all the time and the teacher would seperate them?


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frumsw
 
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chocnpeanutbutter
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2/13/12 11:03 AM
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So I explained it to the supervisor - she was very understanding, and I think she even got what I was saying - but she said she wants me to stay anyway - so now it's just getting worse....


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channafofanna
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2/17/12 3:21 PM
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oy! ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
 
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