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TOPIC TITLE: Family rejection
Created On 8/20/12 3:36 PM
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Cutiestarr
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8/20/12 3:36 PM
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I struggle with rejection from my family because of a mental health diagnosis. Does anyone else have this problem? If so, how do you explain that mental illness doesn't mean you're "crazy" , or how do you cope with the rejection?
 
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toy123
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8/20/12 4:53 PM
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I don't exactly have the same problem but similar. My parents try very hard to understand me but unfortunately they can't. I have very little support and when I do seek my mothers support, a lot of times I just get angry because she just doesn't get it... So I feel your pain.


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Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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gad
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8/20/12 11:45 PM
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Quote

Originally posted by: Cutiestarr
I struggle with rejection from my family because of a mental health diagnosis. Does anyone else have this problem? If so, how do you explain that mental illness doesn't mean you're "crazy" , or how do you cope with the rejection?

perhaps you can ask a medical professional or a rabbi to explain it to them.

in the meantime, it's important to reinforce yourself that the problem is with them, because they lack the ability to comprehend and understand. they have a mental disability.
 
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ayelet_hashachar
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8/26/12 12:21 AM
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Yes, I have a similar situation. I understand how painful it is. To cope, try telling them, or at least telling yourself: I was created in the Image of Ha-shem and I deserve to be treated with respect. If Ha-shem created me with a neurochemical imbalance, there MUST be a very good reason, even if it's painful at times. Perhaps it is my life's nisayon; Ha-shem gave this nisayon to me because He trusts me and knows I'm strong enough to handle it. Ha-shem not only accepts me, but LOVES me just as I am- like the passuk in Shir HaShirim, "dilugo alay ahava"-means Ha-shem loves us even with our imperfections. So those who do not respect me- shame on them!

The 1st step to ease the pain of rejection, I believe, is to learn to accept and love yourself. I know it's so hard!

Something that has helped me is thinking of people in my life who I have a special connection with, and how Ha-shem put them in my life out of compassion and caring for me. It's this thought exercise that was once in the Jewish Press, I think...pm me if you want more info


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Let's just say G-d knew I had a sense of humor.
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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8/29/12 7:21 PM
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Good advice, folks.
a lynn
 
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Manic Me
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9/11/12 12:28 AM
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I really can relate to the situation that was brought up by Cutiestarr. I too suffer more emotionally by the way my parents treat me at the times that they feel I am "not okay" than I suffer from the illness itself. I understand that my parents truly don't know what to do with me but by sending me to bed for example, their concern for me just reminds me that although legally an adult, I will always be a 2 yr old to them. Sometimes even a gentle reminder to take an extra pill, or a soft "I think you should go to bed" can make me very angry. Even though I know deep inside that they do it because they love me and don't want me to embarrass myself by having a full blown manic episode, it sometimes seems that their concern is simply based on the fear that I will embarrass THEM, and ruin shidduchim for their other children.


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"I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!"
 
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gad
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9/11/12 1:05 AM
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it is well known throughout the world that there needs to be understanding and sensitivity, especially with regard to allowing people to elevate their heads and their self esteem.

when parents or others are not in tune to this, then they are quite old-dated and not part of the modern world.
 
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ayelet_hashachar
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9/16/12 1:00 PM
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I know how you feel. We live in an image-worshiping society, where it seems all that matters is the way things appear (eg whether or not ppl know our diagnoses) rather than the way they are (eg whether or not we're okay and need a hug).


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Let's just say G-d knew I had a sense of humor.
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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9/19/12 5:48 PM
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I agree. well said, ayelet
a lynn
 
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