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TOPIC TITLE: any couragous women out there?
Created On 12/4/05 12:13 PM
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bubbles
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12/4/05 12:13 PM
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I cannot allow myself to believe that there is not one frum women out there who has experienced child S abuse.
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I need to get this across without hurting any of you wonderful peoples' feelings.
So please bear with me, and try and understand my thoughts.

As much as all of your responses are of enourmous help, and I am in no way minimising your support. In fact your support is what has got me through the past few weeks of despair.
I "need" all of you, so please don't back off, and misunderstand my feelings.

BUT
I still feel a strong urge to hear from someone who shares similar experiences. Another woman who is struggling through the same issues as I.
Someone who really "knows" what it means to live in a world which feels so very unsafe on all levels. Someone who comprehends the profound emotional sorrow eternally embedded in our hearts.

I definately do not mean to suggest that your pain is any less.
It in fact could be worse on some levels.
There is no measuring stick for the pain of our souls. All I am saying is that I need to hear from someone who has been thru it, so that I don't feel alone and so full of shame and guilt.

Hope i haven't ruined things here for asking for "more".

please understand.
 
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Torsalicious613
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1/1/06 9:55 PM
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i know what abuse is, i felt it as a child, from all directions. now that i am growing up i am realizing that i have to let go of the pain and the memories, but keep the things i've learned from it all. that's what makes the difference and counts and makes you a strong person with the ability to grow, forgive and forget in GOOD ways that HELP you and those around you that you LOVE. you can't do anthing about the past nor what has been done to you, because that will only keep you stuck. you have to learn from it, move forward, and forgive those around you and yourself. or you will never get beyond this. don't mean to be harsh brash or rude, that's just the way it is. and in fact, i think it's harder, but it's better that way.

atara


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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Heth
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1/16/06 3:15 PM
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Yes I experienced child s abuse and have spent my whole adult life recovering from it. I consider myself to be a survivor, although i do admit that i live constantly with a dull pain that doesnt go away. I believe there are many women out there with similar experiences. It takes guts and courage to deal with it. How can i help you? H.


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Mother of 3 , psychiatric social worker
 
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hakoltov
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1/18/06 8:32 PM
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Bubbles I was abused by an older relative, I know its not the same as a father....
but it still hurts....a lot


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"Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"
 
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bubbles
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1/21/06 11:25 PM
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Hakoltov,
Thanks for your reply.
Of course it hurts alot!
Abuse hurts no matter who the abuser is.
I am so sorry for your pain.
Thank you again for posting here.
it really helps to know that we are not alone.

Are you in therapy for this?

best wishes
B.
 
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hakoltov
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1/22/06 12:59 AM
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yep i am in therapy, but its still really hard for me to talk about it- it makes it too real... you know what I mean?


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"Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"
 
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Torsalicious613
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Posts: 461
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2/1/06 7:32 PM
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i and another boy used to play "doctor" in nursery and kindergarden. i hated it. but we did it anyway. did he abuse me? not really. but it sure felt like it and still does to this day. i know it was not his fault, but i still don't forgive him.

atara


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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bubbs96
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10/15/07 1:18 PM
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I was abused physically, emotionally, and s-lly by BOth parents from early childhood until I ran away from home (age 18 1/2ish). Struggling now with major depression, severe PTSD symptoms, eating disorder (w/ multiple hospitalizations), and self-injury. I have been in therapy most of my life (or so it feels) but am just now starting to actually talk about/deal with the abuse.....soooooo hard. I worry that it will lead to more hospitalizations, bc I don't feel like i can handle it.........I also have a lot of shame. I feel like the community refuses to acknowledge that these things happen. "Nice jewish parents" don't do this.....mine did...and would continue to if I would let them know where I am.


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"Recovery is a process, not an event."
Even when it doesn't look like it, I am trying, and I'm doing my best in the moment.
 
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Debbi
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10/21/07 1:14 AM
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sorry to hear about you being abused bubbs.

Its a long road, this path to recovery. Most days I manage to work well in therapy, and I am able to sort thru the memories and feelings. But then inevitably the day comes when I stop "believing" that my father really did molest me. It makes me feel crazy. Because deep down in my heart of hearts, I know it happened, but when I see my family, and they appear like every other ordinary frum family in the neighborhood, and everyone says a hearty good shabbos to my father, and the big Rabbonim respect him, I start thinking it must be me who is confused, crazy, and wicked for accusing him.

Does anyone have this problem, where every so often they stop "believing"the truth?

 
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little sheep
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5/28/08 6:37 PM
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i was also molested...was actually quite disappointed when i realized there wasn't a specific forum here to discuss it! in general, there is not a lot of frum literature out there about molestation. we should all band together and write a book-except i can't think of one jewish publisher who would publish it!

i never stop believing that it happened, but i do sometimes question exactly what did...sometimes, i'm not sure about certain parts, like maybe i think such and such happened because i read it somewhere.

i wish there wasn't so much shame attached to the victims/survivors in our community, and more shame placed on the perps!


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"I'm getting better and better every day, in every way, with the help of Yud-Kay-Vav-Kay"~Rabbi Label Lam
 
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