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TOPIC TITLE: Where are they?
Created On 2/2/06 10:14 PM
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bubbles
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Posts: 114
Joined: Jun 2005

2/2/06 10:14 PM
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The old nightmare:
always running and afraid.
Footsteps pounding on long dark streets, iron hands outstretched trying to catch me.
Fear sticking in my throat like gray cement poring onto pavements.
Sweat finding its way into every pore, as I try to escape. Dark twisted streets, their secrets swallowed up in their anger. And I, eternally running, being chased. To nowhere.

The hands will catch me in the end, for there is no one to save me. There was supposed to be someone. In the realm of things. In that vast eternal plan there was supposed to be a mother.

Alas I am left with mothers who cannot save their daughters from their nightmares. Mothers who will not breathe for their children when they can no longer breathe for themselves.
Mothers who are not large enough for their sons and daughters to hide in, to comfort, to take away the pain. Where are those mothers of fierce compassion, the blood mother, the real mother? Women who will fight for their children, protect them when there is no one left to save them. Is it really possible that such women exist?
Women who will not turn away when the clouds begin to gather, or when the sun burns too fiercely.
Women who are wide enough, soft enough, like huge warm blankets to sink the loneliness into.
Women who are pulsating with the energy of love, of giving, of soft flesh to fold into, knowing that this is their child whom they will die for. Whom they will live for.

Can it really be that there exist mothers who are as large as the whole universe, and as soft as yellow fields, their arms wide, wanting, needing the trust of their own daughters, basking in that bottomless well of compassion and understanding. Mothers who are capable of accepting the bleeding souls of their daughters, even if the redness of the blood seeps into their own hearts.
Are there really women whose shoulders are wide, who stand taller than everyone else, so that their children can still find them even as they are being swallowed up by the darkness?

Where are these people, the ones who are called "mothers"?
Where are they? They who call themselves "mothers" because they really do care.

Where?
I ask.
Where?
 
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Torsalicious613
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Posts: 461
Joined: Mar 2005

3/1/06 12:35 AM
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not in my parent's house! i'm afraid someday i will try to be one but i won't be able to because my mother never was or ever will be. i've had to mommy my mommy. it shouldn't be this way. but it is. i have to pick up the pieces and move on. bubbles, maybe, just maybe, maybe you can do the same?

atara


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what the hecka is a signiature?
 
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Torsalicious613
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Posts: 461
Joined: Mar 2005

3/1/06 12:36 AM
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and you know what else, bubbles? you probably are! maybe some day, you will have the pleasure of seeing your children grow up, ka''h, and see them treat their children the same way you treated them: very well.

atara


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