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TOPIC TITLE: Purim
Created On 3/21/06 11:18 PM
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Debbi
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3/21/06 11:18 PM
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Hi Ernie!
I was really impressed by your post describing how you leined megillah 5 times, so that you could cope with Purim alone.

Good for you!
I am sure it must have been difficult anyway, spending the day without your kids.
How did you manage in between the megillah readings?
Where did you eat the Seudah?

Leining the megillah for the housebound is an enormous Chesed. I know myself how hard it is to go to shul with babies in the house.

Glad to see you around Ernie,

We can all learn from your positive actions, even while you go through such tremendous emotional turmoil.

wishing you continued strength,
debbi
 
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ernie55B
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3/23/06 3:34 PM
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Hi Debbi!

Thanks for your nice post. How did I get through between leinings? I cried. Not ashamed to say it.
Although 247 (at least) people invited me for the Seudah, I felt it would hurt worse being with people and their kids, and not having MY kids with me.
Same holds true for first days of Pesach when kids will be with their mother. Would rather make my own Seder, although T thinks it would be worse for me. But I have to do what I think is best for me.

How are you doing today? I saw you had some tough days a few days back; hopefully today is better.

Take Good Care,
Ernie
 
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gad
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3/26/06 1:24 PM
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Ernie, I was very impressed. Leining the Megillah 5 times on Purim for others is real Ahavas Yisroel, especially for those who are shut in and were probably feeling sad and lonely, and you really lifted their spirits and showed them that someone cared.
Kol Hakovod!
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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3/26/06 11:54 PM
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Ernie-
Why do you feel haveing a seder alone would be best for you?
A Lynn
 
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ernie55B
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3/30/06 3:28 PM
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Hi Dr. Lynn,

Thanks for asking. As I explained to others, I believe being alone would be the lesser of the 2 evils. Being with people at a Seder where the focus is on the children- as it should be-
would be too painful for me knowing my kids are not with me.

I am told there is a grieving process involved in divorce, and that the first of each new thing such as a Yom Tov will be particularly difficult.

I know everyone means well, but I wish they would respect my feelings and not be too pushy. I have some friends and relatives who tell me "there is no way we are going to let you be alone".

My therapist is not happy about my decision, but she respects it.

Ernie
 
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ernie55B
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3/30/06 3:29 PM
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Thank you Gad.

Ernie
 
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gad
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3/31/06 1:49 AM
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Ernie,
Whichever way you do it (alone or with others) may you have a liberating Pesach.
 
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az
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4/27/06 3:03 AM
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Ernie, though it's after Pesach I would like to respond to your post about having a seder on your own vs. with those who've invited you to their seder. Being that I was in a similar situation I want to offer my support to you. Others, such as your T or friends who say no way will you have a seder alone, feel pain when they think of you being on your own at a time when others are happily spending time with loved ones. However, they may not realize that this is actually a good thing for you this time. Until they haven't walked in your shoes they cannot speak for you. I can understand the need to spend time with yourself because of it being the lesser of two evils. Go at your own pace and remember that a yid is never alone. I do hope you have a good friend to help you through your hard times.
Bye,
az
 
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ernie55B
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4/27/06 7:16 AM
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Hello AZ!

Thank you for your support. As you say, only someone in that situation can really understand
what is best.
I read your other posts and I am, first, sorry that you had to go through such horrible events in your life.
Second, I commend you on your courage to be able to put in writing the thoughts you are now having about your own kids, and the fact that you need to quickly address that.

May HKB"H give you some menuchas hanefesh and the strength to overcome all the difficult issues you are facing.

Sincerely,
Ernie
 
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