Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

 Tehilim List  < Refresh >
TOPIC TITLE: need support
Created On 8/7/06 7:24 AM
Topic View:

View thread in raw text format


Belly
Supporter

Posts: 152
Joined: Mar 2006

8/7/06 7:24 AM
User is offline

I'm so exhausted. Friday night my husband was recruted. Now he is up North and has no shelter at all. The kids are so whiny. They slept in my bed last night and I didn''t get any sleep. Tonight I'll let them sleep in our beds and I'll move into their bed. I need a good nights sleep. I can't function on no sleep, espacially not in such difficult times. I know that I can be strong and manage this, but I need more sleep. Today I feel like falling apart because I didn't sleep enough. I could start crying for just anything. And still I'm so lucky to have my family. Last night it took forever to get the kids to bed. I stayed calm and when I felt I needed to get out of my house my niece immediately came over. Neighbours and friends are so helpful and it's really nice to see how much everyone tries to help. And I just feel like crying, because I didn't sleep enough. Nights are hard. All day long I manage to just not think of what's going on. I keep myself busy. At night it takes a long time to fall asleep. The house is a mess, the kids brought lice home and now I have to check their hair every day and wash all the linens again. The little on is back in diapers at night.
My Hashem protect all our people send Refua Shlema to all the injured and bring back our kidnapped soldier.
Thanks for listening.
Belly
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



SaraSmith
Supporter

Posts: 37
Joined: May 2006

8/7/06 7:32 AM
User is offline

I am so sorry for you! It must be very stressful to know that your husband is fighting albeit for a good cause. May Hashem give you koach and bring him and th rest of our soldiers home safe and sound very soon!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



eps
Supporter

Posts: 65
Joined: Mar 2006

8/8/06 12:35 PM
User is offline

Dear Belly:

I felt very distressed when I read you posting – need support.

It is out of the question that you need help; your situation could hardly be more depressing. Aren’t you currently going for psychotherapy? Aren’t you taking any medications? You need both immediately – at least that is what I believe.

Reading my posting - IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT PERSONALITY DISORDERS – might be of some help to you. Besides, on “Ask The Psychiatrist” I placed quite a few posting – all of them answered by Dr. Price - that might lead you somewhere.

Moreover, Rabbi Krausz from England once told me “A person is never alone”. The average religious Jew understands this statement.

I hope you soon find a solution to all your problems. You are welcome to contact me if you think I could be of any help.

Sincerely,


EPS


-------------------------
epsimon
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



ernie55B
Senior Supporter

Posts: 419
Joined: Mar 2005

8/8/06 3:16 PM
User is offline

Dear Belly,

I did not know that you live in Israel and that you and your family are doing so much to make the country safe for everyone.

May HKB"H protect your husband and bring him and all the soldiers back safely very soon.

In the meantime, try and stay strong.

Take care of yourself and your family,

Ernie
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



silent
Supporter

Posts: 29
Joined: Nov 2005

8/8/06 7:57 PM
User is offline

Amen!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Belly
Supporter

Posts: 152
Joined: Mar 2006

8/9/06 1:18 AM
User is offline

Hi EPS
I have a feeling that you misunderstood my posting. As Ernie has figured out I live in Israel. My husband is fighting in the war. Everyone around me has a husband, sun, brother, grandchild.... in the armee. Everytime a soldier gets killed, you are scared it could be your relative or your friends relative. YOu feel for every soldier who got killed. YOu feel for their family and you are so damn scared that next time it could be you. I try not to think about it, but this fear excists. Belive me that many people here in Israel feel like me and sympathize.
How am I supposed to feel when I send off my husband to a war and not know if I'm ever going to see him again?


Ernie, Sara Smith and Silent thanks your words and Tfila which are very much apreciated.

Belly


Edited: 8/9/06 at 1:24 AM by Belly
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



tulip
Supporter

Posts: 31
Joined: May 2006

8/10/06 12:56 AM
User is offline

Belly, I'm reading your post and shaking my head and I can hardly imagine the trauma you are experiencing. One of our very own actually has a husband out in the battlefield! I can hardly imagine the stress of the terror, uncertainty, running the house by yourself, etc.! I pray that your husband and all the others return home safely very soon!
In the meantime, feel free to post here, to vent, to rant, to get the support you are so much in need of.
We are here for you, and sending you our prayers and cyberhugs!
Take care,
tulip
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

8/10/06 4:36 PM
User is offline

Belly,
I echo the sentiments of those who posted before me.
May your husband come home soon, and in good health.

I am glad you are allowing neighbors and friends to be of assistance. Sometimes it is difficult to ask for and recieve help, but in the end you will feel less alone and afraid.

I really dont know what to say.
It sounds so very frightening.
It is difficult to comprehend the pain and fear you must be living with every minute of the day.

Are you able to contact your husband at all?
By phone? Email?

Do your children understand what is happening, and why their father has dissapeared?

Can you try to focus on your day to day needs so that your sense of panic will not imobilize you?
I think that besides davening, the most important thing for you right now is to stay well and healthy so that you can take care of your children, as well as be ready to greet your husband on his return.
To do that you need to take care of yourself first.

Find people in the same situation to talk to.
Come here and "talk" to us.
Perhaps after the initial shock has worn off, you can even listen to Torah tapes, which are geared towards Bitochon and Chizuk.
Allow Hashem to carry your burden. Trust Him, so that you can breathe easier, and begin to sort things out.

I realise that all these suggestions are really simple for me to write.
I'm 5,000 miles away in the U.S. And my husband is not fighting for his life.

I apologise if I dispense advice too easily.
Please don't take it as such.
I don't want to cause you further pain. My intent is not to hurt, but rather to support.

Please accept my words in the same vein as they were offered.

Hope to hear from you soon.

take care.
debbi.

 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Belly
Supporter

Posts: 152
Joined: Mar 2006

8/13/06 3:33 PM
User is offline

Hi Debbi
Thanks so much for your words. They came across as support!
I'm so exhausted, but wanted to answer. My kids understand, but don't really understand what the danger of a war is.
I manage to do on with my everyday life, but I see that I keep on making stupid little mistakes and from one minute to the other I don't remember what I did. Friday night I lit candles and I know I said my Tfila and I just can't remember if I said the Bracha. Now I assume I did and I just can't remember, but such things keep on happening. I just valuntered to host a family from up north for a meal. It's hard to have extra work, but on the other hand I see how much help is needed and this also keeps me going. SO I try to help not not overexhaust myself. I make sure I eat healthy every day, because as you said it's soooo important. I feel bad that I don't have enough patients for the kids, but without being in this situation who doesn't get upset at the kids when they are up an hour after bedtime...
Many of my friends have their husbands up north right now. THe kids are used to their father having reserve duty, so this is how I explained it to them. My daughter is so amazing. I asked her if she is upset that Aba went back to the army, she said No this way we will win sooner.
Most of the day I'm doing ok. It's just that sometimes I get very down and anxous. I'm trying to get a support group together, but don't know if this will work out since we all have little kids at home and can't leave them alone.
I can't keep my eyes open now and just making spelling mistakes.
Good night
Belly

 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Belly
Supporter

Posts: 152
Joined: Mar 2006

8/20/06 1:06 AM
User is offline

Just wanted totellyou that my husband B"H came home and is well.
Thanks
Belly
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



tulip
Supporter

Posts: 31
Joined: May 2006

8/20/06 2:24 AM
User is offline

Belly, thanks for sharing the wonderful news of your dear husband's return! B"H!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

8/21/06 7:36 PM
User is offline

Wonderful news!

I am really glad for you!

take care
debbi
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



eps
Supporter

Posts: 65
Joined: Mar 2006

8/29/06 3:00 PM
User is offline

Dear Belly:

I am sorry for having misunderstood what you had posted. On the other hand, I am glad your husband is already home and is B¨¨H well.

Let´s hope Moshiach soon comes and we finally stop running into that kind of problems.

All the best for you and for your entire family.


Sincerely,


EPS


-------------------------
epsimon
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



superrepentant
Junior Supporter

Posts: 12
Joined: Nov 2006

11/29/06 12:30 AM
User is offline

do you ( or anyone ) know of a group or organisation that helps mentally/emotionally challenged people in finding shiduchim?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



aquabelle
Supporter

Posts: 53
Joined: Jul 2006

12/4/06 11:19 PM
User is offline

hi everyone. not really sure where to put this so i figured under need support was a good place. i am seriously stressed out. i'm in school and finals started this week. in the next 10 days i have 3 finals, each final being 100% of my grade. i have the time to study and i spend my time studying, but i am so stressed about passing my classes that it is the huge weight crushing my chest. what freaks me out is that last time i went through this, i ended up being really self-destructive and was hospitalized as soon as finals were over b/c i was cutting and drinking at the same time. i don't want to do a/t self-destructive but i have to get rid of all this stress. any suggestions?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Belly
Supporter

Posts: 152
Joined: Mar 2006

12/5/06 2:34 AM
User is offline

Hi Aquabelle

FIrst of all I whish good luck for your finals. I'm also studying right now so I can really relate to your feeligns. What I'm trying to tell myself is that if I do fail the world won't come to an end. It's not fun to fail, but on the other hand nothing bad will happen. I try to pamper myself and take my studies not to serious. Life will go on if I pass my finals or not.
Maybe you can arrange your studying in a less streaafull way? Plan more days of studying, but less ours at the end? Even though what I understood is that the final itself is stressfull and not the studying.
Good Luck and keep on remembering that your health is most important.
Belly
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Achdus
Supporter

Posts: 122
Joined: Jun 2009

11/11/09 8:48 PM
User is offline

I know a good therapist in Yerushalayim if you need one . You can email me at kloom345@gmail.com
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

View thread in raw text format
FORUMS > General (Mental Health) < Refresh >

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.