Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

 Tehilim List  < Refresh >
TOPIC TITLE: I don't want anymore
Created On 11/15/06 10:07 AM
Topic View:

View thread in raw text format


Belly
Supporter

Posts: 152
Joined: Mar 2006

11/15/06 10:07 AM
User is offline

I have had it. Why did I ever go to see a T. Now I'm misrable and on meds. Before I was just plain old miserable but not any different than any other person in this world. No I just feel frustrated. You can say whatever you want, but most people have a funny look when you say that you take meds for depression. I feel bad about myself. I feel I didn't get far and now I just have to keep on seeing a T for the rest of my life, because I can'd do without.
I said so many stupid things this week, which I really regret. I feel miserable. I hate my job. I'm doing to much at once and at the end don't enjoy any of it.
I'm so upset I could just go on and on.
I'm trying to be positive, but right now it's just not working.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

11/15/06 12:36 PM
User is offline

You know yourself well, and you went to a therapist because you decided that you need it. And it may not have to be for the rest of your life. It could be that you will receive guidance that will enable you to do well on your own. And even when people see a therapist forever, they gain alot of wisdom etc. that others don't have.

It takes time for therapy and medicine to kick in. So even though you feel miserable now, it should improve soon.

Other people don't need to know that you take meds. And you need to tell yourself that it's as valid and honorable as antibiotics etc. Therapists have experience, and usually they are making the right decision when they prescribe medication.

When people are feeling down, they are more critical of themselves than is warranted.

You can discuss with your therapist that you hate your job, and that you don't enjoy certain things.

It's good that you are trying to be positive. And as the song says, the sun will come up tomorrow.

I hope that things improve soon and that we hear good news.


Edited: 11/15/06 at 2:56 PM by gad
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



aquabelle
Supporter

Posts: 53
Joined: Jul 2006

11/15/06 12:40 PM
User is offline

what's it a/o's business whether or not u take meds for depression? i take meds and only my closest friends and family know abt it and none of them have a problem w/ it or think it's weird but i personally don't think it's a/o's business. when i have rough days (or weeks) i tell myself that i just need to make it through the day or the hour or even the next 5 min. this makes it bearable. and we all do stupid things at one pt or another, the trick is to do more smart things than stupid things. i cut back on e/t I was doing and that has allowed me 2 b much calmer and have some time for myself. the trick is to not fill all my time up again and to just concentrate on me. hope this is helpful, feel better.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

11/16/06 9:39 AM
User is offline

Hi belly,

I'm with you, I also feel that I don't want to be on meds for the rest of my life. I don't know what your diagnoses is, so I can't say whether eventually you will be able to be weaned off. I am hoping that for myself, once I have dome the trauma work in therapy I will not be dependent on the meds to keep myself glued together. As I said its my hope, but currently not a reality.

As far as therapy, my personal belief is that every person would be better off being in therapy. If I had the resources, I think I would like to be in therapy for the rest of my life. Don't misunderstand me, I don't want to be in crisis, and working on trauma forever, but I do think that I and others for that matter, can benefit enormously from this one on one relationship, where the therapist is focused on the individual, and helping him grow in self awareness etc, something which we all should be doing, but is much easier if you have your own personal guide.

Imagine having someone focused on your emotional needs every week for one hour. Think of the potential. The personal growth on Middos, on relationships etc. Its a wonderful opportunity.

Anyway, hope u can pull yourself out from this one.
Thinking of you. Feel better.
hugs
tc
debbi
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Belly
Supporter

Posts: 152
Joined: Mar 2006

11/17/06 7:40 AM
User is offline

Thank you all for your replies. They really help me. I wanted to write, but I do have a hard time writing about my feelings and thoughts.

It's really strange, because on the one hand I feel like giving up and just want to be one of these women from the good old day, who weren't responsible for anything. They always fainted or got a headache and didn't have to deal with life.

On the other hand there is this voice (I'm not hearing voices it's just the way I express myself) in me telling me not to give up. To believe in Hashem and in myself and things will get better.
I'm so aware of having depressive thoughts and try to get rid of them. Like this week I did something I regret and possibly hurt someone. I can't stop thinking about it. I feel so guilty. On the other hand I keep on telling myself, that everyone makes mistakes. Thinking about it 200 times won't change anything. Next time I have the opportunity I'll make up for the mistake... At the end I probably didn't do anything because the other person is probably not even as sensitive as I'm and probably didn't notice anything.
I think that my biggest problem about taking meds is that I can't come to peace with it. I feel that I'm not strong enough and would I have just tried a bit harder I could have lived without them. My family in general is very much against meds so I guess that's where part of my hesitation comes from.
Beside my husband and a very close friend noone knows that I'm on meds. I just feel as if everyone can see it in my face. In a way I wish I could just talk about it and not have to keep it a secret. I think it would really help me.
Debbi I agree with you that therapy is something good, I just can't handle things well right now.
Good Shabes
Belly
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



gad
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1458
Joined: Jan 2006

11/18/06 8:21 PM
User is offline

Perhaps your thoughts of guilt (that if you would have tried harder you could have managed without meds) are caused by the depression.

You'll probably be able to deal with it better once you're feeling better.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



4702125952
Supporter

Posts: 137
Joined: Feb 2006

11/19/06 12:45 PM
User is offline

It took me a long time to accept the fact that I most likely will need to be on long-term meds. I still don't like the idea. But one thought keeps me focused: I am acting responsibly. I am taking responsibility for my well-being. I want to be a better mother and meds and therapy help. Also many other things help--Faith,friends, hobbies, humor, etc.

Some people may be emotionally stronger than I, less sensitive, less vulnerable, more rational, more 'cool'. The combination of environmental factors in my childhood that I could not control, interacting with my G-d given nature have so impacted me as to render me in need of physiological and emotional/spiritual support. My reward is seeing my children grow emotionally healthy. If the legacy of abuse is mitigated or stopped with me, I will not have lived in vain.

Do what you know is right for you!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Holding on
Senior Supporter

Posts: 335
Joined: Mar 2006

11/19/06 2:53 PM
User is offline

4702...
Thanks for your post. I'm considering going on meds, but it is a hard decision. My parent's don't want me on meds... and I myself am not very pro-meds. If I do go on meds, I'll try and keep what you said in mind, BL"N. I'm doing it for ME and My future, I want to be there more emotionally healthy/ happy for myself and nothing anyone might think should get in the way of that.
You sound like a really strong person. Keep it up!
Thanks
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Belly
Supporter

Posts: 152
Joined: Mar 2006

11/20/06 1:34 AM
User is offline

407...
THnak you for your input. I agree with you so much. I can apply it to other people, but I can't see things this way for myself yet. It's such a clear decision when it does not apply to you, but it's so hard to do it when it affects your own life.
I"m scared regarding the kids. I see that they are really sensitive and if really worries me. It's amazing to see how my kids realize and see when other people don't feel well or need help. They are so thoughfull. On the other hand I know how this sensitivity has it's difficult sides. On of my kids has such a difficult time falling asleep and it really worries me.

I"m doing better right now and I think part of why I felt so bad was that I had strep and it really took the best out of me.
Belly
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

11/20/06 10:19 AM
User is offline

Glad that u r feeling better.

thanks for letting us know.
debbi
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Belly
Supporter

Posts: 152
Joined: Mar 2006

11/23/06 12:20 PM
User is offline

I'm feeling awful again.

I need a new therapist. Mine can't see me anymore. She has a sick family member to take care off.

I have noone to talk to. No I'm not all by myself. I have a supportive husband, but there is only so much he can listen to and help.

I contacted three therapists. Noone has called me back yet.

I 'm having a very tough time and it rubs off on my children. It shows at work. I feel so down.

I guess I should be happy because deep down in me I believe that this will pass. I know it's temporary. I know things will get better again.

I'm just exhausted.

Belly
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



SaraSmith
Supporter

Posts: 37
Joined: May 2006

11/23/06 1:40 PM
User is offline

where are you located and how much do you want to spend. i do know a good psych in the Yerushalaim area.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Belly
Supporter

Posts: 152
Joined: Mar 2006

11/23/06 3:13 PM
User is offline

Whom can you recommend? HOw much does he/she charge?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



SaraSmith
Supporter

Posts: 37
Joined: May 2006

11/26/06 1:56 AM
User is offline

She charges 250 shekel. If you want more info, pm me, I dont feel comfy putting her info on the web


Edited: 11/26/06 at 1:57 AM by SaraSmith
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

View thread in raw text format
FORUMS > General (Mental Health) < Refresh >

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.