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TOPIC TITLE: Help . . . I'm suffering!
Created On 2/6/10 9:54 PM
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WingsofHope
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2/6/10 9:54 PM
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Hi! I think I have overactive bladder disorder, but I'm not sure. I'm 18 years old and female. I've had this problem ever since I can remember. I go to the bathroom so often, but usually, I don't even need the bathroom, I just feel like I have to go. And I leak all the time. Whenever I arrive or leave someplace, I usually need the bathroom. I feel like it's controlling my life. Sometimes, I use the bathroom almost every hour or 45 minutes . . .

I can't talk to my parents, because they have, in the past, ignored my depression and cutting. I'm getting help for that. I did it on my own. My parents are never receptive to my problems. They are always in denial. And I'm too embarrassed to see a doctor . . . besides, they're the ones with the insurance and they would find out I went to see him.

Is there any other way besides meds? Some form of exercise or something?

Thanks so much, everybody! I really, really, really appreciate it!



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I will try to fly until my wings carry me. They are my silent hope.
 
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su7kids
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2/6/10 9:58 PM
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It could very well be that you have a chronic UTI, Urinary tract infection. You can find cranberry supplements, as well as possible other things, look at a wesbite that is about AZO which is a pill you take for UTIs. You may also just need to strengthen those muscles.


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Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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ykb
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2/8/10 12:04 AM
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THere are many things that can cause your symptoms and the treatment for it depends on what the cause is. It can range from medications to exercise and biofeedback or surgery. I would start with a visit to your regular doctor to rule out any recurrent infection or anatomic abnormality. Urinary infections can spread to the kidney and cause irreparable kidney damage if left untreated so that should be the first thing for you to rule out. From there your doctor can discuss the other possibilites and how to diagnose and treat them.

Hatzlacha Rabbah,
Refuah Sheleimah,
 
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WingsofHope
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2/8/10 8:19 PM
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Hi everybody! Thank you for replying. I was so helpless . . . I still feel like I am. I thought what I had was annoying, but harmless. But what if it isn't? Now, I'm just terrified. My mother will try to brush off my concerns like she always does. Even if she scheduled a doctor's appointment, which she probably won't, I am mortified to explain what's going on . . .

I need a hug. "Sigh."


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I will try to fly until my wings carry me. They are my silent hope.
 
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su7kids
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2/8/10 9:57 PM
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Big Hug To you. See if you can get a doctor's appointment, but meantime, get cranberries, and don't stop yourself from urinating. Drink a LOT and eliminate it all each time you go, and see if it helps. Don't wait to go, go when you get the urge. Also, are you on any multi vitamins? Can you get yourself extra calcium? That sometimes helps with muscles that are not relaxed enough (which will create that urge to urinate more than necessary, too)


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Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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ykb
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2/9/10 10:11 PM
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I wouldn't be nervous at this point. Most of the issues can be dealt with very easily. First start with your regular doctor and see what he says. This is a routine issue for him it isn't anything that will phaze him.

((((HUGS))))
Hatzlacha Rabbah

Refuah Sheleimah

 
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channafofanna
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2/11/10 8:12 PM
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can you go to one of those walk in clinics? you could go at a time thats good for you to get away. dont worry about the insurance- if your parents really are like that theyl probablly turn a blind eye to the claims. or cant you tell your parents you think you have strep or somthing?
 
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WingsofHope
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2/22/10 10:04 PM
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Hi again! I finally got up the nerve to speak to my mother and she told me to drink a lot of cranberry juice and stuff like that. She heard of some sort of condition that is irreversible that 1 out of 3 women have. It includes constant leaking, like by me. I'm not so sure I have it, though. I mean, she said I can go to a doctor if I want, but I was just nervous they would do a full-body exam.

So what do you all think? I feel like whatever I have is really lowering the quality of my life. I've gotten so much advice from everyone, but I guess the only one who can really tell me what's going on is a doctor. So is that what I should do?

Love, me


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I will try to fly until my wings carry me. They are my silent hope.
 
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channafofanna
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2/28/10 7:40 PM
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I think you kinda answered that by yourself, youshould go to a doctor. If it helps, doctors see every type of disgusting thing/embaressing thing possible, they get thrwon up on , normaly, but its their job, and their used to it, so all they really want to do is help you feel better. they dont think of you at night amd think "ewwww" they think "poor girl"
can you take your mother along to the d.r for her to talk to him?
can you write your problem down? i do that sometimes. they are used to it
good luck!!!
 
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WingsofHope
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3/3/10 8:24 PM
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Hey again! An infection on my foot finally got me to the doctor . . . so while i was there, i told him about my leaking. Okay, it was mortifying, but i'm glad i said something. I had to give a urine sample today, so now i'm waiting for the results. The doctor said it might be fungus. Is that dangerous? Is there medicine to take for it? I am worn raw worrying . . . I hope it's not just in my mind . . .

Love, Perella


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I will try to fly until my wings carry me. They are my silent hope.
 
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ykb
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3/3/10 11:31 PM
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I am glad to hear that you went to the Dr and that he seems to be able to help you.

You should have results of a urine culture within 48 hours so if you didn't hear back from doctor by then call and make sure that it was negative and find out what he would like to do now.

Fungus would mean a yeast infection but most urinary tract infections (utis) are bacterial not fungal, vaginal infections are usualy fungal not bacterial. If it is fungal he will probably give you medication for it. If it clears it up great if not I would see a gynecologist who specializes in infections to evaluate you. Everyone has a certain amount of fungus but some people are prone to overgrowth. A gynecologist who specializes in infectious disease can do special cultures and testing to see what type of yeast it is and why you would be having such a problem with it.
 
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WingsofHope
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3/6/10 8:45 PM
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Hi. The urine sample detected absolutely nothing. I don't know what to do. My mother doesn't really want me to have a full exam before I get engaged. But I'm going crazy from the leaking and frequent bathroom visits. What should I do? I can't bear to live like this anymore.

Somebody, help me!


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I will try to fly until my wings carry me. They are my silent hope.
 
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chanieF
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3/6/10 9:56 PM
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the urine culture was to rule out a couple specific things, but did not test for most things that could cause these symptoms. as ykb said, you really need a specialist. a regular dr would not know all the possible diagnoses nor how to test for them. i would certainly rule out issues by seeing a good urologist [or gyn who specializes in this area], but if "diseases" are all ruled out and it's more muscular or neurological in nature then i would see a good PT who specializes in women's health who can teach you how to use the muscles correctly, appropriate exercises and the such. either way, you should know that there is help. btw- another thing to think of is perhaps if you're on any meds for other things then maybe this is a side effect of the meds?? much hatzlacha and refuah sheleima.
 
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ykb
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3/6/10 10:14 PM
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I understand you completly about wanting to get to be able to put an end to your symptoms yet not wanting to run to doctors and have all kinds of exams. as for your mother's consern, exams can be done on single girls without any problems especially if you make your concern known to the doctor.

The best at this point, in my opinion, is to go to a urogynecologist, a doctor who is a urologist but specializes in female issues. They would be able to give you a full exam including testing the bladder muscles. Whereas a gynecologist doesn't really deal with urological issues so they won't be as good for bladder issues. I know of a few good ones in NY if you are interested.

Hatzlacha Rabbah

Refuah Sheleimah
 
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WingsofHope
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3/8/10 4:53 PM
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Thanks so much everybody! I feel better already, just reading your responses. I had a talk with my mother and she agreed to let me see someone if I wanted to. ykb, do you think you could give me the phone numbers and addresses of the urogynecologists you mentioned? And are they female or male? I'd rather see someone who's my own gender type, if you know what I mean.

Also, should I see a urogynecologist instead of a urologist? There are so many sorts of doctors that it confuses me!

Also, ChanieF., no, i'm not on meds! Boruch Hashem for that!

Thanks again, everybody! I was so clueless before.

Love, me


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I will try to fly until my wings carry me. They are my silent hope.

Edited: 3/8/10 at 4:54 PM by WingsofHope
 
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ykb
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3/8/10 9:24 PM
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I would see a urogynecologist because they can check everything from a gyn and a uro perspective.

Dr Jody Blanco @ Columbia

Herbert Irving Pavilion
161 Fort Washington Avenue, Room 447
New York, NY 10032
Phone: 212-305-1107

Dr Alan Garely @ Mount Sinai
Faculty Practice Associates - OBGYN
5 East 98th Street, 2nd Floor
New York, NY 10029
212-241-7952

I would try to get an appoint with Dr Blanco first since his reputation is "better" but he usually has a long wait for appointments so you might be able to get an appointment with Dr Garley first.



Edited: 3/9/10 at 11:01 PM by ykb
 
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WingsofHope
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3/10/10 3:09 PM
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Hi again! YKB, thank you so, so much for the info and for your insightful response to my e-mail. I never even considered that what i told you about could even be causing my current condition. I thought it was normal.

Anyhow, I'll let all of you know what happens.

Thanks again! I thought it was just me . . .

Love, Perella


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I will try to fly until my wings carry me. They are my silent hope.
 
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ykb
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3/10/10 4:51 PM
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Your welcome!

Unfortionatly there are many things that are considered "normal" really aren't. Many people suffer for many years unnecessarily because they thought there was nothing wrong.

Refuah Sheleimah
 
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WingsofHope
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3/15/10 5:56 PM
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Hi everyone! My mother still thinks it's all in my head, and I think that by labling myself, I made the need-to-go-to-the-bathroom-frequently-feelings worse. Also, I often wonder if at least some of it is in my head. Because lately, I am uncomfortably aware of how my body is feeling (needing the bathroom and such) more than often, which makes me need the bathroom more frequently.

My mother told me she doesn't want to go to manhattan with me, and she claims i don't need to see a specialized doctor, a urogynecologist. She says I should go to her regular gynecologist, but there's only one woman on the team of doctors, and she's booked till the end of April. I really don't want to see a man. Mortifying.

Anyhow, I'm going away for Pesach on March 25th, next week. If anyone knows of a good gynecologist or urogynecologist in Boro Park or Flatbush that takes GHI insurance, I would be grateful. Because, like I said before, my mother thinks it's all in my head and that it's not necessary to go to Manhattan (she doesn't drive, only my father does.)

Thanks again everybody!


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I will try to fly until my wings carry me. They are my silent hope.
 
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ykb
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3/15/10 8:35 PM
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I think it is great that your mother is willing to take you to a gynecologist! Many parents don't want to take their single daughters. However, msot gynecoligst do not have enough of the proper training to deal with more than routine issues involving annual exams and pregnancies. I think it would be worthwhile to try and see if it is all possible to go to the urogynologist since they are trained for this issue and will find the cause of symptoms that gyns will say are either normal, there is nothing to do about it or they will not treat it properly. Is it possible to go by train into the city? Most of my doctors are in Manhattan and I always take the train.

Unfortionatly there are more male doctors than female and most of the good ones are male. It is uncomfortable when going to a male doctor for such things but in my opinion it is worth it when they are more expertise than the woman and they can get you back to being healthy easier and faster.

Hatzlacha Rabbah!
 
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WingsofHope
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3/17/10 2:49 PM
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Hi again! I was just wondering if the urogynecologists you told me about take GHI insurance? Because otherwise, I strongly doubt I can go, whether I have a way there or not.

I told one of my friends about what's going on with me lately. She's the one who has supported me throughout my depression and cutting. Maybe she would take off from sem and go with me to Manhattan.

Thanks again!



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I will try to fly until my wings carry me. They are my silent hope.
 
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ykb
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3/17/10 3:55 PM
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I don't know about these doctors and which insurances they accept. You can call them up and ask them. In general the really top doctors usually don't accept GHI and often don't accept any insurance though some do. In general I found that most of the time their expertice is woth all of the money you have to pay and often more! However, I never went to any of these doctors but I was looking into urogyns for myself at one point and these two came highly recommended. I ended up not needing a urogyn but an infectous disease gyn.

I know Dr Garley's office works with patients who don't have insurance or have insurances that they don't accept.

Call up the offices and ask if they accept your insurance.

hatzlach Rabbah

Let us know what happens
 
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WingsofHope
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4/14/10 7:07 PM
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Hi! Long time no speak! I still didn't get the help i needed. My mother still insists i see a reg. urologist or gynecologist in Boro Park, but she's not exactly helping me look for one. The leaking is driving me crazy. I just wish i had an answer already . . .

Also, nothing to do with this, but my father, who is incredibly narcissistic, doesn't want to fill out his income tax and W2 form online, by FAFSA, so that i can get financial aid and student loans for college (which i'm still trying to get him to let me attend, but anyway).

It isn't fair! It seems like whatever i try to do gets dragged out from underneath me. . . my parents are so unsupportive. it's like they expect me to figure everything out on my own and help myself when i don't even know where to turn.

Regarding FAFSA, on their website, first it said that if a parent refuses to fill out info online, it's ok, it's considered a special circumstance. Then, it specifically says that's it's not a special circumstance. All the directions on their site are so long and overwhelming. . . i wish my parents would care enough to help me fill it out. Why do i have to always do everything by myself?

I'm so mad! I could use a hug right now.

I feel like my life is topsy-turvy. How can you get a control-freak father to let you go to college and fill out the info. i need? And i'm still hurt that my parents knew i was cutting myself and that i was in such pain, and they still stopped taking me to therapy in manhattan. now, i see my school social worker, but i had to do it all on my own, and my parents don't even know i go to her. i'm afraid, if i tell them, they will make me stop going. especially my father. he would totally do that to me. i can just picture him calling the school and demanding that i stop seeing her.

Sigh.

Somebody help me.


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I will try to fly until my wings carry me. They are my silent hope.
 
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ykb
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4/14/10 10:53 PM
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If you have no choice but to go to a regular dr I would recommend a urologist not a gyn. You can then see what he says and mention all of your symptoms.

Here is the name of a good urologist (he treated my grandmother for what turned out to be a gyn issue not a uti) I know a few people who used him. Sorry I don't know any female urologists. He has an office in Manhattan and Brooklyn I am posting his Brooklyn office info only. he is affiliated with Beth Israel.

Mark Respler, MD3131 Kings Highway, B3
Brooklyn, NY 11234
(718) 377-3775
 
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WingsofHope
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4/19/10 7:46 PM
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Thanks! I'll ask my mother. . . right now, though, she just returned from a hospital stay, so it might be awhile before i can go.

In the meantime, I'll try to stay cheerful!


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I will try to fly until my wings carry me. They are my silent hope.
 
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freespirited1
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4/26/10 8:38 PM
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Hi, WingsofHope. I must say that, if I didn't know better, I'd say that all of your posts about your parents are mine-except it's not my username! PM me, okay? We can chat and discuss how we deal with it and compare and stuff-it really sounds too familiar and I stumbled across this by accident but it really sounds like you could use someone who gets it.
(((((((Hugs)))))))


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Smile; it's what your mouth is there for
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I have the short-term memory of a carrot
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The early bird catches the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap
 
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WingsofHope
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5/28/10 2:56 PM
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Hey everyone! Still no appointment yet . . . but I'm hanging in there! I use thin liners, so I'm pretty much ok for now. It's just during the day that I leak.

I'm graduating sem. June 9th, and guess what? I was chosen from my class to speak by graduation! I'm nervous, but kind of excited too!!! Yay me!

Thinking of all of you . . .

(((((HUGS)))))

Love, Wings


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