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TOPIC TITLE: head banging?
Created On 7/27/15 8:13 PM
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Junior Supporter

Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2015

7/27/15 8:13 PM
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I know this might sound crazy but have you ever heard of a normal (?) woman who still bangs her head into the pillow in bed to self-soothe? I have done this since I was an infant in my crib, rocking back and forth on my hands and knees, to relax. As a child I was punished for doing this, but still I felt like I had to do it in order to make myself comfortable. I have been made fun of by siblings, and bunk-mates at camp, and college roommates. I didn't tell my husband I did it until our wedding night because I was afraid he wouldn't marry me! ( We sleep in separate beds.) I even did it in the hospital the night after a c section. I've tried EVERYTHING to make myself stop, including years and years of therapy and medication. So far hypnosis works the best, but it's still spotty. I've been davening to outgrow this since I was a little kid, but I just can't get any control over it. I feel like I have no self-discipline! Am I normal? Lately it's so bad that if I am having a very bad day -feeling suicidal - I start banging and I tell myself I'll only do it for 10 minutes, and 6 hours later, I am still doing it, all aching and sore and exhausted! There's something wrong with me but my psychiatrist, therapist, and even neurologist say it's "nothing significant."- Hello!! I'm hanging my head against the wall for 6 hours and they say it's not significant?? What??
Please help!
BTW I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, and Tourrette's syndrome runs heavily among the men in my family, but this isn't a tic. Has anyone else ever heard of head-banging before?

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