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TOPIC TITLE: Self Mutilation
Created On 12/21/06 1:34 AM
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RoNbOnBoO13
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12/21/06 1:34 AM
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i know this is a hard topic to talk about for most people, its really hard for me to, i mean im sitting here crying, but anyway here goes.... so to make the long story short, i dont think i have depression like needing meds, and i dont think i need therapy, although i am obviously wrong but anyway, i cut myself. it just depends my mood i either cut, drink alcohol or smoke to deal with everything! i used to work a lot of hours, and since there wasnt time to drink and sober up b4 i had to go to work i started smoking ciggaretes and that way i could smoke during work, but before that i would drink all the time like all thru highschool i dont think there was 1 day i went to school sober or didnt drink while i was there, and before tht like 8th and 9th grade i cut. well i am on vacation now and its not really vacation, i am so stressed frome verything around me my 1st week i drank like non stop, this past thu night when i finaly stopped drinking it was cuz i was int he EmergancY rOOM with alcohol poisening!! so then i started smoking again but that doesnt quite do it for me all the time so 2 nights ago i cut myself. it was really bad, like 48 hours later and it is still bleeding pretty bad. but ok i like it watching the blood flow i like to think i created that and i can control it, i can go get stitches from the dr or i can sit and watch the blood flow, it is all in my control. well tonight the stress just got to me so bad i cut again. but i really do want to stop. i knowt hat its not healthy. besides for going to a shrink or psychiatrist (i cant go bc of money issues) is there anything else i can do thats healthy?


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JAMIE UR AWSOME! TIFFANY U R 1 BRAVE FREAK! GET BACK HER MY BABY MISSES HIS MOMMY! I LOVE U BOTH!!!
 
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Panda613
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12/21/06 12:47 PM
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Dear RoNb,

I'm sorry you are in so much pain, I can empathize with you , b/c I suffer from depression and go through many hard times..........and I have cut a couple of times. Not deep enough for stitches. I have stopped and never went any further with the help and support of friends and a very understanding therapist.
You can be in control of your life without cutting...........you just need the right tools to do it. Drinking, or smoking will not solve anything either. The fact that you do realize that it's not healthy is indeed a positive thing. It's sounds like you are young. You have your entire future ahead of you. You are worth it!!! Just reach out to a therapist or dr. There are many places that will not charge any money. If you live in Brooklyn you can try Petach tivka, or Ohel also most cities have Jewish Family Services which also have no fee or sliding scale.
Please seek the help, it's well worth it.
Hope you feel better................there are many people out there and here that LOVE YOU!!! YOu deserve to be happy and not suffer as you do.
Take care,
Panda613


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Panda613
 
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RoNbOnBoO13
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12/25/06 4:39 PM
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i just got back from the most amazing weekend of my life. i mean dont get me wrong i have been participating in NCSY since i was 11 and every shabbaton is amazing! but this weekend i went to a seminar that is thru a kiruv organization called kulanu yachad. it is in st. louis missouri. anyway they had almost 1000 people (russians and israelis mostly) from all over america and guest speakers from israel. they rented out most of a hotel and confrence center and instead of the hotel doing all the work they had the girls from the bais yaakov here and girls who are in seminary our post seminary from out of town come in. really u had to have been there. but anyway while i was there i met so many people, actualy 1 lady really what she said hit me, she said that she is from chicago and totaly assimalated.... anyway she said that after this weekend her whole perception of religion and judaism has changed.... u know from 1 seminar!!! why is it that some people can be changed just like that? i want to stop cutting u know its really ackward when ppl ask about my scars but i dont know what else to do. well its ok cuz this wed i am moving to ny!!! i am soooooe xcited. anyway sooooo i will be better then! or so i hope!


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JAMIE UR AWSOME! TIFFANY U R 1 BRAVE FREAK! GET BACK HER MY BABY MISSES HIS MOMMY! I LOVE U BOTH!!!
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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12/25/06 8:14 PM
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Why do you cut?
a lynn
 
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RoNbOnBoO13
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12/25/06 8:56 PM
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control. when i was 12 my parents got divorced. instead of the court listeniing to the children, the judge decidided that since we were orthodox, or he thought we were and my father was and he had the jewish community were we lived to support him so my father got custody of us. it turned out tho that my father was abusive, and like a psycho (i cant go into detail but basicly if he was ur client ud have him in a nut house!!) anyway so to make the long story short u can use ur imagination and assume what happened to me and my 3 siblings. i am the oldest of 4. i did everything in my power to get away but couldnt bc he still had financialy power over me till i turned 17. from about the time i was 15 till i was 17 i cut. when i was 15 at 1 point i was suicidal, and i got help then but even then it was hard and i never told my shrink really wat was going on. i am scared for my siblings. if my father is put somewere then they dont have anywere to live. i had no control back then. i went to school wen my father said to, he decided what school i went to, what i wore, who i hung out with what i ate, when i ate, when i could ewatch tv when i could watch tv when i could go ont he internet, when i go to bed and when i can get up....... so i needed some control in my life, even if thats what it was. well when i turned 17 i moved out and i was ok till last year. i was in seminary in israel and i paid for it all on my own i worked all year doing random jobs to support my self and out of the blue he sent me 500 dollars. but it wasnt from him, his mother died and left the money to me. so my aunt who lives there who gave me the check told me to write a thank u note to him. and i did and then i had to start talking to him again and he wanted tos tart over...... about 3 weeks ago i quit my job bc i was working to many hours and every time i tried to cut back i ended up getting more hours, and i just was so tired that i would break out in hives from the stress. so i my mom decided to kick me out cuz i wasnt paying rent, a whole nother story. so im back with my father cuz i had no were else to go, and he is doing the same thing i mean its a lil different but not only is he controlling and psycho he talks like non stop and i just want to strangle him and i am trying so hard to control my self and last thursday night i just lost it, i laid in bed crying and decided to cut myself. it was like a reaction to everything going on and i reacted the only way i knew how. i know it was wrong and i dont want to do it again and i want to get help. i shouldnt be reacting like that. well thank gd this week i am moving to ny so i wont have to deal with him anymore i am totaly on my own!!!!!


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JAMIE UR AWSOME! TIFFANY U R 1 BRAVE FREAK! GET BACK HER MY BABY MISSES HIS MOMMY! I LOVE U BOTH!!!
 
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RoNbOnBoO13
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12/25/06 11:41 PM
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its so annoying tho, cuz like my best friend is getting married in 2 weeks, and i am so happy for her dont get me wrong, i mean im taking a 25 hour long bus ride with complete strangers to get there!!! but at the same time i am so jealous. like all my friends are getting married and they seem so happy. even the ones that werent so happy b4 now are. and i keep thinking like i just have to find a man..... and not only that like now when i fight with my dad its cuz i cant deal with him and i keep thinking imnot gonna marry a man i cant along with so then i wont fight and ill be calm all the time and i wont be stresed... but i know that b4 ill really be happy i need to work out my issues and be happy as a person on my own..... but like i might be wrong,if any1 has any words of encouragement or advice i would really appreciate it! also i got a call tonight about an apartment and maybe a job im so excited!!! so if any1 hears of anything in ny please let me know!!! im totaly desperate!!! also of good therapists and stuff there.


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JAMIE UR AWSOME! TIFFANY U R 1 BRAVE FREAK! GET BACK HER MY BABY MISSES HIS MOMMY! I LOVE U BOTH!!!
 
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Belly
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12/28/06 3:10 PM
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Rob
You are right about sorting out your issues before you get invoved with a man. Don't get fooled by all the happy faces around you. Marriage is amazing and great when you are married to the right person, BUT don't think that it solves all your problems. Life continues. YOu will have god days and bad days.
I hope for you that you will find a good therapist soon!
Good Luck with your move!
Belly
 
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kivunulo
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12/28/06 11:46 PM
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i don't know what to say, so ill pray for you, hashem knows how to help you best.

best wishes


Edited: 3/9/07 at 3:10 PM by kivunulo
 
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RoNbOnBoO13
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1/16/07 11:32 AM
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i moved to ny about 3 weeks ago and i have been so happy. its like a real happy not a fake 1. i got drunk 2x since i got here, cuz i went to 2 weddings and the alcohol was just sitting out asking to be drinkin, but i havent cut at all. i have felt no reason too. i want to say that im cured but i know im not and never will be if i dont get help. so im asking now for help. i have no health insurance, and money is tight, i mean i have some but not alot. and i am working but not making so much. so if any1 knows of some1, im not sure why ive always rathered going to some1 who isnt jewish but im open to anything at this point. i want to get over what ever issues i have so i never fall back. please if any1 knows of anything please let me know. thanx in advance!!!!


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JAMIE UR AWSOME! TIFFANY U R 1 BRAVE FREAK! GET BACK HER MY BABY MISSES HIS MOMMY! I LOVE U BOTH!!!
 
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RNRebbitzin
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1/16/07 1:24 PM
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RoNbOnBoO13

The fact that you realize that you can do this along is a very couragous step in the right direction. You are a beautiful Yiddisha Meidle who is worthy of a happy healthy life. There are many places in Brooklyn and other parts of NY where you can get help at no cost or on a sliding scale.
Try- any towns Bikur Cholim, Jewish Family Service, Ohel, Petach Tikva-- The all have frum therapists which totally understan the Orthodox way of life.

888-311-OHEL

Jewish Board-Family
970 Dekalb Ave
Brooklyn, NY 11221-2001
7184521755
718-851-6300




New York: Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, Staten Island, Albany, Nassau, Orange, Rockland, Suffolk, Westchester
Other US States: Arizona, California, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Virginia, Wisconsin
International: Brazil, Canada, Israel


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

|||||||||| BRONX, NEW YORK ||||||||||

Conservative Synagogue of Riverdale
475 West 250th St
Riverdale, NY 10471
Contact: Rabbi Shlomo Balter
Phone: (718) 543-8400


Hebrew Home for the Aged
5901 Palisade Avenue
Bronx, NY 10471
Contact: Connee Kaufman - Director of Volunteer Services and Religious Programs
Phone: (718) 581-1404
Email: ckaufman@hebrewhome.org
www.hebrewhome.org

Volunteer opportunities include friendly visiting with residents, clerical assistance, resident transportation, assisting with programs, and assisting with meal-time feeding. Interested volunteers can work in our comfort care and hospice program. Group visits by schools, youth synagogues, churches, and other community organizations are encouraged. Facility offers additional sercices in commnity-based day-care, adult day services and residential respite. Daily minyan at 4:15 pm (mincha-maariv). For more information contact: Director of Volunteer Services (718) 581-1404.

Kingsbridge Center of Israel
3115 Corlear Avenue
Bronx, NY 10463
Contact: Rabbi Harvey Crupar
Phone: (718) 548-1678


The Conservative Synagogue
Adath Israel of Riverdale 475 W. 250th Street
Riverdale, NY 10471
Contact: Johanna Zurndorfer
Phone: (718) 543-8400
www.csair.org

Visits to hospitals, nursing homes, homebound/shut-ins; Shabbat/Holiday hospitality. For congregation members.

Van Courtland Jewish Center
3880 Sedgwick Avenue
Bronx, NY 10463
Contact: Rabbi Jacob Sodden or Robert Gilman- President
Phone: (718) 884-6106


Young Israel of Parkchester
1375 Virginia Avenue
Bronx, NY 10462
Contact: Rabbi Seymour Schwartz
Phone: (718) 892-4366


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|||||||||| BROOKLYN, NEW YORK ||||||||||

Avenue N Jewish Community
321 Avenue N
Brooklyn, NY 11230
Contact: Rabbi Max Schreier
Phone: (718) 399-7747
www.Avenuenjewishcenter.com

These should get you started, Hatzlocha Rabba!!!








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RNRebbitzin
 
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