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TOPIC TITLE: Dissociative Disorder/PTSD
Created On 10/18/07 3:11 PM
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mouse
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10/18/07 3:11 PM
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I have a dissociative disorder and ptsd among other diagnoses. Wanted to know what the best therapy is for this kind of problem and how long it should or will last. to put it short, i've been in therapy for many years and not totally successful (not trying to kill myself as often as I used to) and i've been inpatient a number of times and in partial hospitalization once (starting tomorrow will be twice). Both inpatient and partial hosp. have been geared specifically toward dissociative disorder/ptsd. So am I an incurable nut or is there hope?


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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10/23/07 5:11 AM
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guess i'm not gonna get an answer.


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Debbi
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10/23/07 10:19 AM
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Hi there!

I'm not Dr. Lynn, but I've been following your posts, so thought it would be ok to jump in here.
I can relate quite well to all you are sharing, b/c i suffer in very similar ways.
Do u have a diagnosis of BPD? Your suicide behaviors are very much consistant to Borderline personality.
I have been hospitalized twice, b/c of being suicidal, and cutting. I've also done a three mth out patient program, plus a 4mth DBT day program, up in Westchester. (all in the last 3 years)
DBT is what initially saved my life. And it helps me to this day.

I dont know what will ultimately work for u, I can only speak for myself. I think that the most important part of my healing has been due to the relationship I have with my therapist. She has stayed with me against all odds. There have been times when she could have legitimately stuck me in a hospital, and thrown away the key. She never did, and on the contrary, she always believed in me, and did not abandon me, which helped me begin to trust not only her, but others in my life.

I think that knowing that someone cares enough for you, and that same someone will NEVER abandon you, creates within you a certain strength, which can help u thru your terrible struggle.
i believe too, that the things we suffer are indeed a lifetime struggle, but they needn't take over our lives. we deserve to live with at least minimum Menuchas Hanefesh. Any work u r doing, accumulates, and in the end you will see, your life will be different. it is really hard work, I know that, i am doing it myself right now.

But even tho i struggle on a daily basis, I am begining to see big changes, and I am also begining to see a pinprick of light in the darkness.

Do you do anything that makes you feel good? Happy? Do u play with your kids? Do u feel joy when u spend time with them?

I never could, and it is only now since the summer that I actually feel happy when I am together with my children.

I used to "float" when I sat in my therapists office. I would literally feel as though my whole body was a balloon, and it was floating towards the ceiling. I sometimes had the sensation that her chair had developed roller blades,and had rolled far back into the distance, so that I could no loonger see her.

Sounds ludicrous, but whenever the abuse came up during session, i would "dissapear". More often I would feel as though a fog had descended, and that I was surrounded by it.

B"H this no longer happens to me, or very very rarely. So things do change, and u will I'Yh see those changes for yourself too.

How r things working out at your new program?

take good care.
D.
 
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mouse
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10/24/07 11:45 PM
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One therapist labeled me BPD for a short period of time until she saw i could hold down a job and carry on a significatn relationship with others. It was much more clear that i dissoicated however when parts of me started to fragment into different personalities. In some ways i qualify as BPD, such as chronic suicide attempt/SI but since i have distinct personalities going, I'm DID. My therapist has stuck with me for seven yrs and psychaitrist 5. They are great support network for me. The day hospital trauma program helping me a lot. They just started DBT the day after i requested it (they were coincidentally planning it). So far DBT has been an eye opener but not able to relate to the issue at hand. I have learned that there is such thing as a loving relatoinship, but i never experienced it with hubby. I still care about him, but if he were to die today, i wouldn't really miss him long after shiva. but that is how it is with everyone i know with maybe an exception my kids. I feel really empty now knowing i'm missing something and now i want it. while dating i never got attatched to a guy for fear of being dumped or having to dump the guy. that distance is there in all my relationships -- even ones where the other side does not realize it and cares for me more. I feel selfish now for not caring for others like they care for me. thinking about this makesme suicidal so i better stop here.


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gad
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10/25/07 12:45 AM
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So if I understood you correctly, the only thing standing in the way of a loving relationship, is your own reluctance or inability to have that relationship.

So when you will be ready to have the relationship, then you should be able to have it.







 
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mouse
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10/25/07 3:41 AM
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i'm not sure i'm able to be loving like that to anyone othter than my kids. don't know how to make that connection apparently. Btw, I grew up with normal loving parents.


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gad
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10/26/07 1:40 AM
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You wrote that you were afraid of being dumped or having to dump the guy. So the hurt that would have resulted from a failed relationship was too much to bear. Therefore there was a reluctance to commit to such a relationship.

Our children, however, will probably love us no matter what. So it's easier to commit ourselves to loving them (beside the natural love).

Perhaps the answer is to just jump in. And to be optimistic that the relationship will flourish.

That way you stand a chance of achieving what you want, a loving relationship. And if G-d forbid there is a failure, it can be devastating, but people generally recover and go on with life.

There's a saying, or a song: Better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all.

Hope to hear good news.

 
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Dr. Lynn
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10/28/07 9:15 PM
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Is the problem with relationships directly related to the traumas that occured or are they separate issues?
a lynn
 
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mouse
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10/29/07 3:53 AM
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I'm not really sure if the prob. with relationships and trauma are intertwined. too hard for me to separate anything. lets just say the trauma involved a close relative, so now that I think of it they probably are connected to some degree. it took a long time to understand what boundaries are and now they seem to be too rigid. dunno. so confused by that question, dr. lynn.


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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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11/1/07 12:10 AM
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When people are traumatized by other people, it often results in relationship problems- particularly TRUST.
a lynn
 
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mouse
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11/1/07 4:01 PM
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Okey dokey...I'm starting to see and hear a particular theme in my life right about now. It's a TRUST thing, I guess. Time to work on that one.


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