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TOPIC TITLE: Teenage Depression
Created On 10/28/07 3:24 PM
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WarriorGirl4ever
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10/28/07 3:24 PM
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Hi. I'm a sixteen yr old girl and I'm depressed. I've got to go on the internet, in secret, because my father banned me from it. He's a tough guy, who exercises his control on my mother, my 3 yr old brother, my 13 yr old sister and me. I've cut myself three times, including last night. I've been to a therapist 4-6 times, but my father stopped it because it's in manhattan (i live in brooklyn) and it's too expensive. If people pay so much for operations and procedures, shouldn't my parents care about my mental health? My mother even saw my cuts, and both my parents know I'm depressed, but neither of them do anything about it. I feel unloved by my family, like nobody cares about my situation. I asked my mother twice if I can go back to therapy, but she said "no, just get a a grip." How can I just get a grip? I can't just get rid of my depression just like that. I spoke to my close friends about it today. (Some of them already know what I'm going through) One of them is calling 'Ohel' for me because my father (who has all the $, my mom doesn't work) won't pay for therapy. My father restricts my life in many ways, yells at his whole family, including his devoted wife, my mother, and makes us all a miserable, just struggling to survive sort of family. I've spoken to two teachers, about my situation, already, but nothing helped and one of them thought I was crazy when I found out how to make a noose to hang myself with. My heart is hurting badly. I don't know where to turn. I feel as though I'm locked inside an eternal prison, and it's a life sentence. I can never get out. I'm in eleventh grade, and in ninth grade I had it the worst. For the full year, I couldn't get rid of depression, not even for a moment. Now, it's Baruch Hashem better, but my family situation is not. Someone, maybe Dr. Lynn? can you give me some advice? I'm stuck in the mud here and I don't know what to do. I've still got plenty more to write, but time is limited, so I'll end off here. I don't know when I can next get on the net because it's banned for me. So, hopefully, I'll see your reply very soon.


Edited: 10/28/07 at 3:25 PM by WarriorGirl4ever
 
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mouse
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10/28/07 5:00 PM
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Sounds to me like your situation is quite bad. Reminds me of myself at that age in some ways. If your parents are neglecting you or being abusive to you in anyway (at least in NJ), teachers are required at least in a public school to report it to child protective services (DYFS here.) I'm not sure where I would categorize your situation but if it were me (I'm a teacher), I would probably not risk my lisence and call anonymously just in case it qualifies. Talk to your guidance counselor or principal.. Cuts should raise a few eyebrows and maybe send a red flag something isn't quite right. There is such thing as putting lots and lots of pressure on difficult parents. Also, you may speak to your rav if you think he wuold help (not hurt) the situation. Good luck. By the way, I landed up waiting till I finished college before I got the help I got. I don't regret holding on all those years. Keep thinking there is an end when you are independent and it should get you through the worst. It was the only thing that kept me going. I wish I could have gotten help sooner, but better late than never. Keep hanging on and think of when you become independent (either through marriage or job).


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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su7kids
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10/28/07 6:36 PM
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WarriorGirl, my hugs and heartfelt feelings go out to you. Some parents don't want to admit there is "mental illness" in the family because they're afraid of how it will affect shidduchim. What they fail to understand is that if you're THAT depressed that you've considered suicide (G-d forbid), the problem may never come up -- if G-d forbid, you're successful.

I am sure there are organizations out there that can help you, and since you are still a minor, maybe you can find someone who can help you get CPS or someone involved to help you. It seems like you may have to do it yourself. HOWEVER, since you're aware of how you're doing, etc, it may work to your advantage, because you're willing and wanting to change things.

Depression is NOT a "snap out of it" thing. If only!!!! Who WANTS to be depressed? For sure no-one, so we would all SNAP OUT OF IT, if we could!!

Good luck, at least keep coming back here for support.


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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Dr. Lynn
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10/28/07 10:07 PM
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Warrior girl,
I agree with what others have said. It's really good that you are motivated to get help for yourself- that puts you head and shoulders ahead of most of your peers! I recommed you call Relief- 718-431-9501 and speak with Mrs. Fisher. She makes referrals all around NYC, and would know who specializes with teens and works on a sliding scale. She may recommend a clinic or person in private practice. Do you know if there are any rabbonim who are savy about mental health issues and can speak with your parents? Perhaps they can speak with Dr. Twersky or Rabbi Horowitz in Monsey?
Please let us know what happens.
a lynn
 
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WarriorGirl4ever
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11/11/07 7:03 PM
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I feel so blessed that I discovered such a wonderful website like this one. I don't know if I would have been able to cope without all of you over here. You've moved me to tears. I didn't ever think anyone would understand me like you do. I'll try my best to seek help as fast as I can. *cyber hug*. I love you guys! Thanks a million!


Edited: 11/11/07 at 7:04 PM by WarriorGirl4ever
 
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WarriorGirl4ever
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11/12/07 8:00 PM
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I'm in a desperate situation. My principal is coming over to my house at 8 and my other principal knows I cut myself. 2 girls told him. I denied everything when my prnts asked me about it, but my father says he wants to know what's going on so he could defend me, but I can't bear the thought of telling him the truth and facing his response. I'm really scared. I might get expelled because of my behavior. My other principal (not the one coming over) tried to get everything out of me, but I lied to his face, even though he obviously knew the truth, and I denied everything.

I'd rather die than live through this horrific nightmare. I may not be the same person tomorrow; I may be terribly altered. Who knows what horrible surprises await me after tonight? Help.
 
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gad
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11/13/07 6:40 PM
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What happened? Is everything OK?

Hope to hear good news.
 
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WarriorGirl4ever
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11/13/07 7:29 PM
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He couldn't make it for last night. He's coming over at ten thirty tonight. I was suspended from school today just because he didn't speak to my parents yet. I'm terrified. How can I face him? I'm so ashamed of myself...and my parents don't even believe I have depression; they think that it's just stress from all the schoolwork I have. It's not true. They don't even know what depression really is, even though they claim they do. Someone, help. Any encouragement?
 
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WarriorGirl4ever
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11/13/07 7:35 PM
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Today I felt like a prisoner in my own home. Suspension is not fun.
 
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WarriorGirl4ever
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11/13/07 7:37 PM
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I'm terrified to contact any organizations now. My parents might find out or someone else. Maybe even a teacher/principal/friend. If I'm not expelled now, I would get expelled then.

It seems as though the school doesn't care that dep. is not something you can control. They just want me to stop cutting and 'influencing others' and being dep. If only!
 
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HopefulMommy
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11/13/07 9:31 PM
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Sorry to hear about your principal and suspension. I don't really understand your situation. Is your principal in a position to help you at all? Is he aware of what depression is? Maybe you should contact some organization and see if they could talk to your principal.

Hang in there! (((HUGS)))
 
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gad
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11/15/07 12:50 AM
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We are all rooting for you. Hope that you have good news to post.
 
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frumsw
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11/26/07 2:29 PM
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Is there any hope that this suspension will make your parents take this seriously? Have you spoken to your principal that you want to get help? good luck.


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frumsw
 
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