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TOPIC TITLE: body dysmorphic disorder
Created On 12/10/08 3:47 PM
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killedlastyear
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12/10/08 3:47 PM
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How do you know if you have it or if there's something that's really bothering you and its totaly rational?
When people who have body dysmorph are upset about something does it actualy physicaly hurt/bother them?
Something's been bothering me lately to the point where i get extremely frustrated over it and have been getting depressed and kind of actualy mad at myself. I looked up body dysmorphic disorder and so many of the things sounded so familiar. the checkin in the mirror (but being so disgusted, I quickly turn away. and purposely try not to look in mirrors when the "flaw" is visible. but its just like an addiction to look at it though. to see how disgusting it is. or how noticable. or if its gotten worse).
. the not wear clothing that reveals the flaw. The wanting so badly to get surgery to fix it. And i know my friends would tell me its no big deal (I havent told anyone about this its way too embaressing!).
But like isn't it possible to be bothered by something and NOT have body dysmorphic disorder? So how do you know if you're crazy that the flaw isn't so bad and you're just making a huge deal or if it really is a flaw and it's normal to be upset about it?

i hope that made sense.
 
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mouse
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12/11/08 3:01 AM
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(((KLY))) just wanted to let you know, I think I understand what you are saying. No clue about the answer, but very curious. Just remember even the best super models in the world have some flaw. No body is "perfect" because then it wouldn't be an original the way G-d wanted it to be. What may be the perfect face to one critic it too perfect to another. I've had gastric bypass, but only for health reasons, and would not consider fixing the flab surgery at this point because I wouldn't look any more perfect with it fixed (though maybe it wouldn't be so gross).


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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killedlastyear
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12/12/08 3:47 AM
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thanks.
I know we all have flaws. Trust me, from the scars on my arms, to the stretch marks on my thighs and stomach, pimple scars on my back (ok this list could go on forever), I have plenty of flaws. I just don't obsess over them to the same extent. Just certain ones are worse than others. You know? I would love to be perfect but in reality I know that just isn't possible. It's just that some stuff actualy gets me really embaressed about it. And it makes me mad at myself that it's there. And its not just flaws in general but those specific things. And the dumb thing is that I prob should most be mad at myself abt the scars on my arms which i totaly did on purpose, but those don't really bother me that much usualy. :-p

 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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12/24/08 10:31 PM
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Is there a pattern with the flaws that REALLY bother you? Are you willing to confess them to this anonymous community? You might feel better...
a lynn
 
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killedlastyear
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12/28/08 4:24 PM
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well right now it's the wrinkle "flabs" i have near my armpits (i know so awkward!). like you know when your arms are flat to your sides... i have these like wrinkle/flab things. they're little and ugly and disgusting. and i like do this flexing of shoulder/muscles on the side of my body when i think about them. which is often. its bizarre. i've felt the fat on my thighs hurt before. my fat was like physically hurting me (though it was really prob all mental). it was like i could feel it getting bigger and stretching out my skin.
and my ears are too big, but i dont think that really counts bec i think it's normal for people to be self-conscious abt that. i make sure to tell them when i get haircuts to cut my hair so it hides them as well as possible. and i feel alot uglier when i wear my hair up. i try to wear it down whenever there's people around that i really care what they think, but it's hard because my hair is so thin. which is why i want so badly to get hair weaves put in. but they're so expensive so that's what's stopping me.
there was a point when i was younger i remember being bothered that one of my nostrils is bigger than the other. That still sometimes bothers me a little but i'm able to brush it off easily.
when i smile i show off way too much of my upper gums. i try to remember to keep my upper lip down when i smile, especially for pictures, but when i don't it's so ugly. i get upset when i look at pictures of me like that. and embarrassed when it's a friend's picture and i know other people are going to be seeing it.

just stuff like that. you know? i feel like everyone gets upset about those things but that i get more upset then i should. but when i try to tell myself that then the other voice in my head is screaming- you should be upset those flaws are ugly and they make you ugly.


Edited: 12/28/08 at 4:25 PM by killedlastyear
 
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