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TOPIC TITLE: husband with ocd, depression, no energy
Created On 3/7/06 11:24 AM
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happy123
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Joined: Mar 2006

3/7/06 11:24 AM
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Hi, looking for info on support for myself and kids with husband who for days will just sit around and read, do nothing, sleep, not go into work. Then when he does go into work, gets upset at things that have occurred in his absence that didn't go to his liking (perfectionistic liking). Does get up to go exercise in the morning but does not get up to daven when he has no exercise. He does daven but just gets it in a few minutes before noon. He has tried going to psychiatrists for his low energy level, time management issues, low level of participation in family, ocd tendencies, etc. but every time it comes to changing he stops going. He has taken several meds (Ritalin, Paxil, Straterra, Wellbutrin, and another newer one) and nothing seems to work at all. It just seems to make him more edgy. He also turns to more risky areas of recreation like motorcycles, shooting, etc. which get our family very nervous. I'm not sure what to do at this point for my family and myself and also to help him. Any suggestions?
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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3/14/06 11:57 PM
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Would he consider psychotherapy?
A Lynn
 
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happy123
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3/22/06 2:43 PM
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Perhaps I wasn't clear but he has gone to many professionals and he just doesn't follow through. Even if he sees someone, there are still repercussions to the family. Are there any survival techniques you can recommend?
 
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4702125952
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3/24/06 3:06 PM
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Sometimes people need ultimatums. He needs to see that although he may be "sufferer" his behaviors affect his family. And he needs to be responsible.

You may have to tell him that he follows through with therapy or...whatever the consequence may be, perhaps you'll leave, or go to "beis din" etc.

It's traumatizing for children to witness their father behaving thus.

Chazak ve'ematz.

Raisy
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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3/26/06 11:20 PM
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I might suggest family therapy. I have sent some people to the Ackerman Institute 212-879-4900, which is affiliated with NYU, and have heard good feedback. I agree that a depressed father affects the whole family, and that sometimes ultimatums have to be given, but I think they have to be well-timed and well-thought out to really have the desired effect.
A Lynn
 
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deborbar4
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3/30/06 8:32 PM
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sorry you're having such a rough life. you must be so lonely. I think you should definately give him the choice: get help continuously or divorce. you deserve better than that. you have a life and your children have a life. you're probably better off lonely and single than lonely and married.


Edited: 3/30/06 at 8:42 PM by deborbar4
 
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stillfighting
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5/3/06 12:30 AM
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wow its intereasting to see how fast divorce comes as an ansewer.
very scary.
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
Psychologist

Posts: 914
Joined: Feb 2005

5/4/06 11:41 PM
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that is ONE opinion.
a lynn
 
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