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TOPIC TITLE: What's the point?!?!?!
Created On 9/2/13 10:33 PM
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toy123
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9/2/13 10:33 PM
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Why is Hashem keeping me on this world when all I am is bad. I cause endless pain and suffering to my parents, I do aveiros daily, I'm dreading Rosh Hashanah!!!!!! My essence is bad!!!!!!!


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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Mimi1022
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9/2/13 10:45 PM
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Awww

Feel better soon, toy.
 
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HopefulMommy
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9/3/13 1:47 AM
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(((HUGS)))

Toy, your essence is good! Your essence is your Divine soul, a part of Hashem. It's always good. Everything else about you is simply a garment, an externality. And likely, whatever it is that you feel guilty about you're not even responsible for. It's outside of your control to change.
 
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Belly
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9/3/13 2:37 AM
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You are not all bad. You might only see the things which bother you or your parents right now. Hashem loves all his kids even when we don't keep all the mitzvot. Try to see Rosh hashanah as a day you can talk to Hashem and be very close to Him.
Hugs
 
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keep climbing
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9/3/13 5:15 AM
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I think that every tiny effort that we make when we are in such a state has tremendous meaning to Hashem. It doesn't make any sense to us, but Hashem's ways are above us. But it comforts me to know that the slightest push has tremendous value.
 
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MoMo
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9/3/13 8:23 AM
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It's so sad that in addition to all our pain we feel guilty for not being able to live up to religious obligations. But the truth is that with emotional difficulties it is impossible to be held to the same standard as everyone else.

There is a great article here about Elul anxiety which helped me. http://www.drsorotzkin.com/articles.html#Hashkafa
 
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MoMo
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9/3/13 8:24 AM
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Our free will is not as free as people think!!!
 
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wishtobehappy
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9/3/13 1:36 PM
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Thanks for the link, Momo, it was really helpful.

((((((Toy123)))))) Hope you a very happy, sweet, and healthy new year. You deserve it.
 
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I'mTrying
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9/3/13 4:51 PM
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Oh wow, great minds think alike! I just posted a link to Dr. Sorotzkin's article on Elul Anxiety and now i see that MoMo posted it here this morning
Toy, you are not all bad - if you were, you would not have made it to this Rosh Hashana. The fact that you are worrying about it shows how much you care, and I believe that means a great deal to Hashem. Unfortunately there are many Jews who do not have too many feelings one way or another about having a connection with Hashem, although they may 'look the part'.
I am trying to do a "reverse cheshbon hanefesh" this year- instead of looking at the many, many bad things I have done(which is much more instinctive for me), looking at the goodness in me so one day I can use it to grow.
It's hard! I feel for you
 
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MoMo
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9/3/13 6:47 PM
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Quote

Originally posted by: I'mTrying
Oh wow, great minds think alike!

And fools never differ.
 
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wishtobehappy
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9/8/13 12:29 AM
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Whether you guys are great minds or fools is still up for debate, but the link you posted sure helped preserve my sanity on Rosh Hashana .

I printed it out and read it after Unesaneh Tokef. It was the best antidote.
 
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