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TOPIC TITLE: why?( RHETORICAL QUESTION)
Created On 9/17/13 11:49 PM
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star
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9/17/13 11:49 PM
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JUST WHY?

Why would Gd choose one person's life to be filled with joyful relationships

and another, devoid of even one?

And why do the people who suffer the most,

get tested again and again with no respite, though logically shouldn't they be getting

a reward for the first trial they had ever undergone?For the mountain climbing so severe and breath- taking that

seems put there just for them? A personally designed hell, credits of Gd.?

Why am I destined to be lonely, when a close relationship is the one thing I crave and live for?

And why? Why? Why?

Why doesn't Gd reward my prayers with sweet answers, wouldn't that be positive reinforcement, and encouragement to speak to Him again?

In stead, I curse him in my dreams, every waking thought, and even in Shema Koleinu.

Why?Why? Why?

Thanks for listening.


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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Dr. Price MD
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9/18/13 8:59 AM
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Only HaShem knows why. All we can do is search for meaning somewhere and comfort each other.

Gut Yom Tov,

Rabbi Price, M.D.
www.RabbiMD.com
 
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keep climbing
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9/18/13 10:28 AM
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(((HUGS))))
Oy, star, I feel for you. It's horrible to feel so awful!
Remember, we're with you every minute.
 
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star
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9/18/13 12:07 PM
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thanks


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star
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10/16/13 4:05 PM
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What does gd want from me? i couldnt even daven shmoneh esrei today, just kept cursing him in my head. what could he want from me? to be frum again after he put me tru hell and i had to turn to secular media to survive


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Lasthope
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10/21/13 4:08 AM
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i know the feeling star. I cursed Gd last week when I was so depressed. But then the next day I apologized. Some days I daven and talk to HIm, other days I'm too angry to even show recognition, resentful of the mental illness He gave me. But I think He still loves us. He knows it's all coming from pain, not from spite. Keep your head up. You're doing great by even keeping Him in your life. At least you recognize that He's there, unlike the atheists who have completely thrown Him away.
 
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TBear
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10/21/13 7:06 AM
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I agree with Last Hope you are doing great to talk to G-d at all - we are allowed to talk to Hashem like our parent and He doesn't hold words that are said in pain against us -

When I feel that awful - rather than curse Hashem, maybe I curse the circumstance - then I try to do what a child would do - I cry...beg...tell Hashem I am only dust and I hate where I am right now... and remember to thank Him for the things I do have - as hard as it is - if only for the very breath I am taking, food to eat, and the ability - the privilege to talk to Hashem.... but mostly I beg - and recite over and over again a verse from Tehillim in 147 that says, "... He is Healer of the broken-hearted and the One Who binds up their sorrows.....
and tell Him I need him to take care of my brokenness

I actually asked my Rav last week - Why? His answer was that he really didn't know - that we each had to do the best we could with what we have been handed.... that it is a tikkun for my neshama - for whatever purpose and to keep going - like Dr. Price said - only Hashem knows why....

Brought the verse in Deuteronomy 29:28 to mind - I would say to myself as a kid.... " The secret things belong to the L-rd our G-d, and the things that are revealed to us and our children forever are to do all the words of this law..." which brings me full circle to the - live a Torah life

Not very comforting, admittedly - but somehow gives me a little bit of peace within, direction - at least to me..... so it is back to pleading with HaKodesh Beruch Hu - I am your child.... help!

I actually can't daven Shmonei Esrei most days and only can say Shema and HELP - if all I can say is G-d I need you with lots of tears - that is what I say and keep going - He only asks us to do what we can, don't make yourself feel worse by putting that kind of burden on yourself that you "have " to do the Shemonei Esrei.... do what you can and leave the rest to Him - He is the One who gave you your circumstances... at least that is the only way I am able to function most days lately.

Not trying to preach... just I had this discussion with my Rabbi last week and thought it might help.... So sorry you are in this place....


Edited: 10/21/13 at 7:12 AM by TBear
 
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