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TOPIC TITLE: Mikva humiliation
Created On 2/16/14 8:35 PM
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star
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Posts: 1982
Joined: Jan 2012

2/16/14 8:35 PM
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So im near tears, wish i was crying(anyone can answer). i was supposed to go to mikva tonite although ive been dreading it. then last minute i had a shaila and my husband decided to call his rav and embaress me, by saying i didnt do bedika, altho i got a heter from rav nyman, and my husband repeated to the rav: she got a heter from some rabbi who claims she didnt have to do bedika. humilating me and now i am repulsed to go to the mikva. he tried calling r nyman and i was too upset and resentful and ashamed to speak to him.
so you know what- I GIVE UP. im not trying anymore to keep these damned halachos. so ill go to hell a second time. i cant care. its too humilating, and im just doing the most minimun stuff while most ppl r not sitting on a couch w their husband. im SO ANGRY. at Gd and at rabbbanim who take the most private part of our lives and make it public- airing our dirty laundry to whoever my husband calls his rav. i trusted r nyman but now i dont anymore.
now im yelling at my husband-so see this taharas hamishpacha really leads to shalom bayis right. im so damn angry!!!
please no criticism suggestions advice or so called concerns. Ugh!!!!!!!!!! Im done with yiddishkeit. im done trying my whole life to fit into this cookie cutter mold i wasnt meantt to fit!!!
PLEASE DONT IGNORE ME!!!


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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I'mTrying
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2/16/14 9:54 PM
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I'm crying for you, star. I wish i could hug you in person. I am so sorry you are suffering so much! I've never been in your position so I really don't know how you feel but it sounds terribly painful...
I'm holding your hand. hope you can feel it.
 
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star
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Posts: 1982
Joined: Jan 2012

2/17/14 3:18 PM
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thanks im trying. i feel bad i made u cry. bh i feel better today. but not sure when im ever gonna go to the mikva.


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I'mTrying
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2/17/14 8:22 PM
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It's ok. crying means caring. That's all you need to take from it.
I'm glad you're doing a little better today.
Hope tomorrow is even better than today...
(((((HUGS)))))))
 
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star
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Posts: 1982
Joined: Jan 2012

2/20/14 1:49 PM
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thanks.


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