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TOPIC TITLE: Tisha B'Av requirements
Created On 7/17/15 6:14 PM
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TBear
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7/17/15 6:14 PM
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Need you to answer from the Rabbi point of view - informed by your knowledge of psychiatry

Actual question: What is the halachic requirement for me on Tisha B'Av? Fasting and... am I required to hear the reading of Eicha or the Kinos? Now the elaboration:

If someone with a physical handicap needs to consider halachic requirements in light of the disease or handicap - am I supposed to consider emotional or mental handicaps or damage (diagnosis is CPTSD, and DID) and if so, do I consider what my (non-Jewish) therapist has suggested? Also, how do I even ask my Rav here without bringing stigma on my children....

When the three weeks come – when Tisha B’Av approaches, I always have difficulty dealing with the fasting and the pain. I have been advised that this year i am too vulnerable to participate in the shul readings and films - that it has the potential of being re-traumatizing. I will fast because i do understand the trigger - but cannot take the constant pull to try to relate to and mourn - it is all too real to me - I am in a state of mourning already. Is this OK or am I being too weak and need to just deal with it? I feel guilty as if I am not participating with the community...yet the effect on me is very hard to articulate. Perhaps avoiding it is the best way to take responsibility for my reactions at the moment. Yet the feelings within and flashbacks that are stirred up are beyond words, as much as I try. I have been triggered by the subject matter. So, I would appreciate your feedback.


Do I stay home on Tisha B'Av this year - or do I risk going to shul as always(I have not missed a Tisha B'Av yet)? I want to stay home - afraid of my reactions, I have been warned by my therapist and historically it has been a dissociative experience....yet I feel guilty and even weak for avoiding, beating myself up for my "handicap" doesn't help....UGH - there is no way to win this one :-) Should I protect myself from the triggers? As I process - I don't think it will be every year - but this year I am in a weakened state.

Sorry to be so long-winded.... seems there is a great deal needing to be voiced from within......


Edited: 7/19/15 at 7:51 AM by TBear
 
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Dr. Price MD
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7/18/15 9:34 PM
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Guarding your health takes precedence so do what you need to do to protect your mental and physical well being as HaShem intended.

Rabbi Price, M.D.
www.RabbiMD.com
 
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TBear
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7/19/15 9:52 AM
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Thank you.
 
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mouse
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7/20/15 8:31 AM
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Thank you for asking Tbear...I struggle with a similar tug of war.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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TBear
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7/28/15 10:42 PM
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Strange - after I asked this - I ended up in urgent care for something and my Rav here forbade me to fast.....

So the mental triggers and guilt were driving me to some extreme stress reactions.... but the day was actually more meaningful since I was "all" present and not in a triggered state of severe dissociation.
 
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mouse
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8/1/15 9:48 PM
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Hoping you feel better soon.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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