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TOPIC TITLE: pregnancy
Created On 3/23/06 2:25 PM
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Belly
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Posts: 152
Joined: Mar 2006

3/23/06 2:25 PM
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Hi
First of all I want to give you some basic info about myself and then get to my question.
I'm 31. married +2
October 2004 I contacted a therapist because I felt I wanted to talk about something that happend to me when I was 15 and I never felt I could trust anyone with it. My therapist send me to a psychiatrist after a few meetings and I was diagnosed with dysthimia. I started Cipralex for 6 months. Switched to SJW afterwards, since I had suicidal thoughts when I stoped taking Cipralex. I was very upset, since I hardly ever had such thought in my life. Basically only when I was 15 i wished I would not wake up the next morning. I got so freaked out that such thoughts could happen to me. NOw I feel pretty much ok with some downs here and there.
Anyway, my husband would like to have more kids. In a way I would love to have more kids too, but I'm scared. I'm scared of my depression getting worse. I'm scared to switch to perscription meds since as far as I know SJW is not recommended during pregnancy and I'm scared about our finances. We really don't have the money for another child. I would feel bad hiring a cleaninglady and someone to help during pregnancy and afterwards to make life easier for me since we don't have the money for it. On the other hand this would be a recepie for disaster for my mental health. Right now I'm feeling really good and I feel that if not for the money I would try to have another child. On the other had when I have bad days I'm very sure that it's not worth risking worsening my depression by having another child. I still need my therapy sessions and meds. Now logically it would make sence to wait till I can get off meds and then have a child, but I'm turning 32 in a few months and it's safer to have kids now.
I feel toren and would liek to know what you think from a jewish point of view and from a health point of view.
Thanks in advance



 
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frumtherapist
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Posts: 65
Joined: Nov 2005

3/23/06 5:32 PM
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Firstly, If you and your husband have a Rav that you have a close and comfortable relationship with, you should seek reassurance that, through therapy and with the professionals involved, you are trying to handle this the right way, and get reassurance that you don't need to decide this in a day. Take some immediate pressure off yourself and your husband, so that you can both feel more free to explore this more fully.
I would recommend you explore if you'd feel comfortable inviting your husband into some sessions with you (and your therapist) so that this can be explored as a "couple" decision and issue, rather than the two of you as "individuals" squaring off in your differing thoughts.
Hatzlacha!
 
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Dr. Price MD
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Posts: 1946
Joined: Jan 2006

3/24/06 12:09 AM
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Family planning requires a thorough discussion with you, your husband and your doctor/therapist/psychiatrist.
Nowadays, women who are high risk for relapse of depression or post-partum depression are taking certain antidepressants in pregancy to preserve their health and welfare and allow them to fulfill their wishes to have more children and to breastfeed. Risks are generally limited to the potential for largely benign sertonin withdrawal in the infant if the medication is not tapered and discontinued prior to delivery. I encourage you to have such a discussion to share and unload the decision making burden.

Rabbi Price, M.D.
 
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Belly
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3/24/06 12:16 AM
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Thanks for your answer. I know that I don't have to make this decesion in one day. This is what I have been telling myself for the past year. My doctor said that if I feel that I can handleI can have kids as long as I take meds . With our Rav I'm scared to talk about this issue allthough I'm sure he would be nice and understanding. I have the luck that I was able to talk about the money issue with friends from different religious backgrounds. THey all say that they just live with an overdraft. This would really upset me though. I guess I'm trying to see if it's more my depression or the money that keeps me from having more kids. B"H I have a very good relationship with my husband and even if he is not at the session I tell him what was up. Once I feel that I know where I'm standing I would take him to a session.
Thanks
 
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