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TOPIC TITLE: Therapy without support of family
Created On 5/2/07 3:02 PM
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fryaya
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5/2/07 3:02 PM
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Edited: 9/23/07 at 4:59 PM by fryaya
 
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gad
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5/2/07 4:48 PM
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Maybe you can ask a Rabbi (or someone else who is respected by your parents) to talk to them. You can also ask the Rabbi's or another mentor's opinion whether therapy would be good for you.

Also you can ask some of the Jewish organizations (Ohel etc.) for advice.


Edited: 5/2/07 at 4:52 PM by gad
 
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avious101
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5/3/07 6:53 PM
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Ok sorry if what i say is horible advice but i just NEVER say the right thing and scince im only thirteen i havent got good advice skills yet (and aparently i also have bad gramar skills ) but heres what i think you should do:
1. make sure your parents know you are serious abt going into therapy
2. make sure your parents no why you want a therapist
why do you waant therapy ?
3.let them no that Chas Vishalom you would become worse you may have the risk of suicide or cutting if it becomes to much to bear
4.if your school age go to a to a techer , princapal or guidance councler and tell them whats up
5. ill sleepon it and think of more things you could do and ill try to get back to you and again sorry if they make things worse and im wasting your time
 
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gad
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5/3/07 8:43 PM
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I think that your advice # 4 if an excellent idea.

1and 2 are also good if there is good communication.

3 probably depends on the situation. # 5 and the other suggestions show fryaya that you care, and that itself is worth a million.
 
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avious101
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5/3/07 9:40 PM
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wow that was really nice of you to say ill think about that the next time i want to make myself throwup wich by the way im not really emetiphobic anymore oly on the bus
 
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frumsw
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5/3/07 10:18 PM
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I also agree, sounds like you got "smarts". I especially like the idea to ask someone trustworthy at school because sometimes the schools know therapists or have one that won't cost your parents much money.


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Dr. Lynn
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5/4/07 12:05 AM
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Good advice everyone! I couldn't have said it better myself!
a lynn
 
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avious101
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5/6/07 7:01 PM
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ok so i thought about it and i sort of said it b4 but tell your parents you want to be a happy healthy kid and that cnt be to easy if your sick also my parents always tell me not to worry about them paying so much for me because its the same as if you had strep they would get you antibiotics so whats the diference and thats all icould think of im sorry
 
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fryaya
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5/9/07 10:55 PM
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Wow! Thank you everyone for all your responses and support!
Here are some more details so that maybe I can get some more help.
I'm just a year out of school so i dont have the option of a school therapist etc.
So, that being said none of the other options are very realistic to me
If i was able to convince them that i'm 'sick' and need 'medicine' then i would also be able to convince them to send me to therapy.
In other words- it's not so simple to speak to them about it.
about a rabbi- i dont know anyone well enough that my parents trust and consult with.
still open for more ideas . thanks
 
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aquabelle
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5/9/07 11:05 PM
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sounds like ur over 18 which means ur parents don't have to know and u could find a therapist by urself and ask beforehand if they have sliding scale pay and pay out of pocket.
 
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avious101
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5/12/07 9:29 PM
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sorry i should have known my advice wouldnt have halped oh well
 
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gad
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5/12/07 10:49 PM
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Quote

Originally posted by: avious101
sorry i should have known my advice wouldnt have halped oh well


Sometimes giving advice hits the mark right away. Sometimes, as in this case, it helps to clarify things. Now we know what the asker is asking, and we can try to comfort and perhaps figure out advice that fits the situation.

So you showed you cared, and helped to clarify the situation. Sounds like you accomplished alot.
 
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gad
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5/12/07 10:54 PM
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Quote

Originally posted by: fryaya
Wow! Thank you everyone for all your responses and support!

still open for more ideas . thanks


Avious, I quoted the above to show you how much everyone's answers were appreciated.

 
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gad
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5/12/07 11:02 PM
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Quote

Originally posted by: fryaya

about a rabbi- i dont know anyone well enough that my parents trust and consult with.
still open for more ideas . thanks


Are there any relatives or friends who could talk to your parents?

Would the Jewish organizations (nefesh, Ohel, Echo) help? Also I think there is one called Regesh.

Another idea might be to go to a teacher, principal, counsellor where you went to school last year or in previous years, someone you respect and are close to, and ask them for their opinion, and if they want to talk to your parents.

Have a gut voch, and hope to hear good news.

 
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fryaya
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5/12/07 11:39 PM
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again, i just want to tell everyone thanks for your support.
that means you too avious!
i'll see what i can do.
it's kind of expensive to pay out of my own pocket...
 
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gad
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5/13/07 1:52 AM
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Maybe you can speak to your medical doctor, and he could speak to your parents.

Another idea: Maybe you can start therapy once or twice; and then, if you feel it helped, you can tell your parents how much it helped you. (Perhaps your therapist can also speak to them.) At that point they may decide to help financially.
 
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gad
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5/13/07 2:34 AM
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I should add, in case you're not aware, that if the therapist is the opposite gender of the patient, then there can be a question of yichud; and usually this is solved by leaving the window blind or the door open.

Also, you may want to choose a frum therapist. Someone frum usually has an understanding and sensitivity of the frum needs of the patient.
 
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avious101
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5/13/07 8:15 PM
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it would really help me and maybe some other people think of somthing if i knew why you want a therapist but you dont have to tell is or anything
 
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avious101
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5/13/07 8:20 PM
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gad-
does that mean theres no yichud issue with a persons therapist just the parents of the paitents ?
 
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gad
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5/14/07 1:45 AM
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The issue of yichud would apply to a patient if the patient is a man and the therapist is a woman, or visa versa.

It would also apply to a parent if the parent is a man and the therapist is a woman, or visa versa.

But there is no problem when a frum married couple is present.

I know that this can be somewhat confusing, so let me know if it's not clear and I can try to make it clearer.


Edited: 5/14/07 at 3:18 PM by gad
 
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frumsw
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5/16/07 11:15 PM
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There is an organization RELIEF that gives refferals for mental health counseling 718-431-9501(tell them about the money situation) and there is a new organization Ezer L'Nefesh to help pay for counseling (347-406-9618. In a way it's good you're on your own with this. you'll choose someone you like and figure out how to pay and it'll make you more mature and independent to deal with such a thing by yourself. good luck.


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avious101
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5/17/07 6:52 PM
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i think your really mature in the first place to think that you need a therapist
ok i worded that wrong but oh well


Edited: 5/17/07 at 6:53 PM by avious101
 
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avious101
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5/22/07 4:25 PM
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so Fryaya what ended up hapening ?
 
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fryaya
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5/28/07 3:29 AM
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nothing yet...
 
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avious101
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5/28/07 11:10 AM
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oh so why do you feel you need therapy ? maybe that can help us figure somthing out
 
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