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Created On 5/13/07 11:55 PM
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avious101
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ok so whats up with everyone elses life here im not the only one with somthing rong in my life evryone has probblems
 
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gad
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Everyone does have problems. and we don't always know why some people have certain problems, and other people have other problems. and why some people have more problems, and some people have less.

but what we do know is that if we see someone else has a problem, and we can help, then we need to help.

and eventually, with everyone helping everyone else, we will soon have a perfect world.

i'm not sure if i answered your question. please let me know if i didn't answer your question, or if you were asking something else.
 
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avious101
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oh sorry i ment that everyone has problems so maybe we should concentrate on someone else for a little while
 
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gad
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Fair enough.

Hope things go well for you.
 
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avious101
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i ate a lot today without throwing up or feeling bad i had:
an english muffin for breakfast
cheerios for snack
twopb&j sandwichis(whole weat)
dinner
 
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su7kids
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You are AWESOME!!! Good for you!!!

Its not a lot to eat, but you kept it down and that's very important!!!


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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avious101
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6/9/07 11:17 PM
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i wouldnt exactly say im awsome i would just say i refrained for m doing a bad thing alos i had a friend over on shabos so i only picked 4 times and not a lot each time
ok now hows everyone else doing?
 
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gad
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I'm very happy to hear such good news. Keep it coming.

Thank you for asking how everyone else is. Thank G-d I'm doing OK, and may it be a good week for all of us.
 
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Belly
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I'm happy to hear good news from you Avious

I was sick over Shabes but B"H feeling much better today.

May we all have a nice week.
 
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Holding on
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Avious - You should really be proud of yourself! Keeping it down is a big first step in the right direction.
Keep it up!
 
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avious101
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but im not like stopping or anything im jusat taking it down a notch b/c i do not want to stop but i also dont want for it to get out of control
 
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gad
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taking it down a notch is excellent, and everyone on this site admires your efforts.

It says that every cent adds up to a huge amount. So certainly the efforts that you are making, which need alot of effort and are priceless, certainly that adds up to a huge amount.

I think that if others, including myself, would learn from you, we would accomplish tremendous things.

Hope to hear good news.
 
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avious101
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its so funny you said that b/c im in a play on monday and the theeme is small things can ad up to a signifigant sum
and guess what i havent thrown up scince around the 7th thats almost 2 weeks i still feel like doing it alot but im going throuugh so many paper towels in my pantry that pple may realize s/t is up
 
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gad
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It is interesting about the play. Everything is bashert (Divine Providence).

Two weeks is great. It shows alot of determination and effort.

Worrying what people may think about the paper towels can be a big help. We all worry about what people may say, and this often helps us to do good things.

I hope to continue to hear good news.
 
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avious101
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kept it down again
 
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su7kids
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Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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gad
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Thank you for the excellent post.

By working hard, and trusting in Hashem's help, you are bound to succeed.
 
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avious101
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then i guess you can say the same thing abt my picking B"H it was only once today thanx to my Ts idea of putting adhesive tape on it and i have only a week and 4 days 4 it to heel so i can swim in camp without someone seeing
 
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gad
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Avious,

I just thought about my last post, and I saw how it was very helpful for me.

So here I'm thinking that I'm giving you encouragement, and I realize more and more how it's helping me.

So thanks again for your excellent post.

Hope to hear good news.

Have a good Shabbos.

And as su7kids wrote, good for you.
 
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gad
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Originally posted by: avious101
then i guess you can say the same thing abt my picking B"H it was only once today thanx to my Ts idea of putting adhesive tape on it and i have only a week and 4 days 4 it to heel so i can swim in camp without someone seeing


Very clever idea -- adhesive tape. Glad it's working.

Hope it heals in time.

 
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avious101
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just out of curiosity hows it helping you? and its all from you dont thank me
 
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gad
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In life we all have issues on a daily basis, whether it's money, getting along with others, personal fulfillment etc.

And Yiddishkeit teaches us that we should try our best, and at the same time we should trust in Hashem to make our efforts successful.

But even though we're aware of this principle, sometimes in daily life we get caught up with things, and forget to take it to heart.

So after I sent the post to you, I realized how this attitude would help me alot with an issue that I was dealing with. And as soon as I realized this, I applied myself to relying and trusting that Hashem will help, and this gave me alot of peace of mind.

And as for thanking you; it's true that it came from me. And it's true that everything come from Hashem. But you were a cause. And in general it says that when you help someone else, you end up helping yourself much more.

Have good Shabbos, and I'm happy to keep receiving your good reports.
 
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avious101
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ok total change in plans (although i dont know how my parents can aford it) so im going to camp on monday and so i had a surge of motivation and B"H have only picked 5 times in four days (once on thursday, none on friday, 4 times on shabos and none today) but unfortunaly its imposible for everything to be perfect so i dont no if anyone really wants to hear it but aill say it anyway cause im totaly freaked
ok so i had my sisters graduation party and so i ate a little more than usual biut i felt soooooooooooo ful and then i had cake b/c my bubby and zaidy and grandmother would get worried if i diddnt eat cake so then when everyone went outside i came back in and went into the bathroom (by the way it was my first time doing it in the bathroom usually i do it in a sink in the basement wich is why i need so many paper towels ) and so i stuck my fingers ok and you guys no what i did but it just wouldnt stop coming outn usually iabout a cup comes out each time well about 4 cups came out but it was weird like a cup came out and then a pause and then another one and i thought it would never stop and it totaly freaked me otu the bad part of it is is that it just makes me want to do it more sorryt for grossing anyone out and let this be alesson to bulimics everywere stp b4 its to late its truly horifying nad it ruins your body so please stop
 
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gad
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It happens. Not to worry.

Everyone has setbacks. It can be a good springboard to do even better in the future.

Have a good time in camp, so that you come back relaxed and refreshed.

Have a heathy and happy summer.
 
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avious101
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wait but im going to day camp for july so youll still hear from me (sorry guys) but ill be in sleepaway in august (if my parents let me
 
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gad
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Hope both camps go well. And hope you have good news to post.
 
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avious101
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6/19/07 7:12 PM
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ok so i was emailing a friend last night and i told her i was really depressed and she knows about me throwing up and stuff so she made me (well not exactly made me) not throw up so yeah and B"H no picking today
 
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su7kids
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6/19/07 11:11 PM
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Hey, you're AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!

Good for you.

Glad to see you're reaching out for support.

Keep it up!


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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avious101
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ok so last night i told her i diddnt do it so she asked me to limit it to once a week and told me how it really hurts her when i hurt myself and that made me cry so much and i justhate when peolpe are sad especcially cause of me so i just gave up and made a deal with her taht i would limmit it 2 once a week exept in special emergencies and also i feel bad cause shes been so good to me and all i do is hurt her
also i kinda need help i um have this friend whose friend died in a freek train accident and shes really depreesed and can you help me figure out what to say Please ????????????? shes just such a nice pesron and she dosent deserve it
 
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su7kids
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There is not much you can say. Maybe she wants to talk about her friend. You can just hug her and say "I don't really know what to say, but I am here for you if you want to talk", and just listen, and don't push.

Glad you made that deal with your friend. I am sure you can keep your side of the deal!


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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avious101
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6/20/07 7:17 PM
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thanx but how am i suposed to make her happy again???
 
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su7kids
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Happiness comes from inside, not outside. You can be there for her, but she has to make herself happy.


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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avious101
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ok thanx
 
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avious101
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ok guys(and girls) i have s/t to tell yoyu ok so i went to my pdoc on friday and he said i can go to sleepaway if i dotn slide downhill in my progress and stuff like that so i decided that i was gonna STOP THROWING UP and so far ive been doing ok with it
also not such good news i picked a little last night and tthis morning
 
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su7kids
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The good news is awesome. I'm hoping the picking will change in the same direction as the throwing up!!!

Did you tell your pdoc about the picking?


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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avious101
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i told him that i basicaly stoped but it was this morning and last night that i picked but it wasnt that bad it diddnt bleed or anything B"H
 
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gad
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Thanks for the good news.
 
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frumsw
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Avious, do you know how you are helping everybody who reads this site? Besides that you give us great happiness as you make progress, you are an example for everybody struggling with their issues. The next time I have to fight my urge to do something I shouldn't or I'm trying to help somebody else fight their urge, I'm going to remember that there is a kid out there who is working so hard to be healthy and she is winning and I'm going to think, "If she did it then so can I". You see, one Mitzva (guarding your health) is leading to other Mitzvas (doing chesed with ppl.). Yes Avious, you are awesome! Have a phenomenol summer!


-------------------------
frumsw
 
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avious101
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thanx but im not exactly awsome
 
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shtarkebachur
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i read these posts just now and i couldn't stop through the whole thread, i'm glad mom didn't pop in in middle. well to b honest, i skipped most of e/o elses' posts b/c i just wanted to read how you are struggling with this, and i felt good seeing the way you are fighting to get better, b/c i know i want to get better with all of my not feeling safe to , um i don't know how to say it, i think it's that i don't hve any friends, but i do have friends just i don't trust them at all, and i defend myself by hurting them and not really caring about them b/c i'm afraid if i care then i will let them hurt me and they will.
i said i felt good even though i was feeling so hurt for you, but i saw that you also are fighting to improve and you also feel like u r giving up, and i feel the same way most of the time.
actually the reason i liked reading is that you say everything ur feeling and i wish i could do that b/c people feel like i'm acting superior a lot b/c i never share that s/t is hurting ME, i just focus on what's hurting THEM, as if i don't ever get hurt. but i don't realize when i do this, i try very hard not to hurt people like this. so please do tell me if i ever make you feel this way, i'm trying very hard to stop so people will not be insulted by me
i will try to share the hard things i'm going thru so people see that i'm just as weak, i'm just acting strong to defend myself, maybe even that's why i called myself shtark, i don't know!
i very much wish i could help people that's why i work very hard to become more honest about MY weaknesses so people will be able to feel that i'm supporting them, like standing by their side, instead of STANDING on them, by making myself out to b some strong guy who feels good when he sees others in a lower situation than they are.
but i promise you i don't mean that i don't have major fears, and failures, i just am too scared to talk about the really big ones, but i try to. so i hope you don't feel put down when i act invincible by hiding my feelings


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!

Edited: 7/13/07 at 3:02 PM by shtarkebachur
 
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avious101
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hi!
i also have friends but i cant trust them b/c theyd think im crazy cause of my mental stuff

& its just natrul reaction to defend ourselvs i just got realy fed up w/ all the lies and fighting in the world so i just try notto argue

also i dont say everything im feeling but youll gadually get more comfortable here

i didnt feel put down when u acted " invincable" i diddnt even realize u sounded normal to me
have fun at ur job
 
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shtarkebachur
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oh good, thanks for saying i don't sound invincible cause i was really worrying about it. i also try not to argue with people, i'm not assertive. if someone disagrees with me i take it personally as if he is saying that i'm stupid for thinking this way and i start to think maybe he's right and i'm stupid or mental. so it is painful 4 me 2 argue with people. i try to say to myself that i'm really smart and normal, but i don't really believe that. thanx 4 writing that i sound normal, that helped!


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
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avious101
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i also try not to argue with people, i'm not assertive. if someone disagrees with me i take it personally as if he is saying that i'm stupid for thinking this way and i start to think maybe he's right and i'm stupid or mental. so it is painful 4 me 2 argue with people. i try to say to myself that i'm really smart and normal


what does assertive mean????????????????????

its great that u try to back urself up and stuff i just end up hating otherpeolpe for fight ing and thinking im mean
have fun at ur job???????????
 
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shtarkebachur
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hahaha, i thought i was reading my own post so i was wondering why it was under your name!!

btw assertive i think means that you do what you can to get what you need & u don't worry about people getting angry. when you feel like u have enuf worth to deserve it and if people don't like it it's their problem. i don't mean that u hurt people, but you don't worry what people think.

i'm leaving now 4 the summer. have fun at camp!! thank u!


-------------------------
Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
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avious101
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oh sorry i mentto erase that but i forgot to b/c s/times the post is on the second page and i cant reamember what i wat i was gonna say so yeah and thanx for the explanation and have fun!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
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shtarkebachur
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hi! you know, whenever i'm with people, i constantly worry what they want me to do. i feel like they will punish me if i don't make them happy. it doesn't make sense, i mean the people usually aren't thinking about me and here i'm worried that they'll hurt me if i don't do what they want. you know what i mean?


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Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
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su7kids
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I'm wondering if that is as a result of not being able to please your parents, and them demanding that you do.

Why don't you try to adopt the attitude of "if they want it from me, they'll ask, and if they don't ask, I'm not obligated"? You can't make people happy. What a concept! ;-) Its up to THEM to make THEMSELVES happy.

You can be careful not to make life miserable for them, but their happiness is THEIR issue!


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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gad
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Originally posted by: shtarkebachur
hi! you know, whenever i'm with people, i constantly worry what they want me to do. i'm worried that they'll hurt me if i don't do what they want.


Learning the Gate of Trust (Shaar Habitochon) in Duties of the Heart (Choivivei Halivovois) helps a person trust in Hashem, and not worry about what people may do.

 
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shtarkebachur
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i actually did learn it more than once.


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Enjoying life while fighting anxiety!
 
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gad
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So when we think about how everything is in the hands of Hashem, and nothing happens unless He wants it to. and how Hashem watches over us constantly with hashgocho protis; then this allows us to not worry about what people may think or do, and to trust that Hashem (Who is good, and the nature of someone good is to do good things) will do what is good for us.

Another suggestion is to check your tefillin if you haven't done so recently.

Hope to hear good news.
 
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