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TOPIC TITLE: I have my doubts about my T
Created On 6/7/07 1:49 PM
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Belly
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6/7/07 1:49 PM
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Last meeting I got upset at my T. I felt really lousy when I got there, but eventually I started feeling better. I have the feeling that my T just does not believe in me. Ok so I have mild depression. Mild depression can be dealt with in different ways, but my T seems to push me into direction medication. Every time I'm down she wants me to check with the doctor. I'm taking Hypericum, but she does not believe in it. My Pdoc prescribed it for me and is happy and believes much more in me. I'm actually amazed by myself. No matter how bad I feel, it's a matter of time and I get out of it. When I talk about a matter of time, I talk about a week or maybe two. No It's not easy. I'm probably not as happy and calm as other people, but I don't think that I'm much worse than the average person on the street.
Whatever I just feel that my T in a way pushes her way of looking at this world on me instead of strengthening my strong sides.
So yes I was diagnosed with chronic depression, I'll probably have to deal with depression for the rest of my life, but I want to deal with it in an active way. I'm not sure my T is supporting this.
On the other hand I feel safe with her. I can say what I want and talk about any topic I choose.
I wish I would know what the best way for me would be to continue. I don't feel like starting from scratch with someone new, but I don't feel like staying with my T.
I think I need a break from therapy, but then again in a week I might feel that I need therapy again.

What am I supposed to do with such feelings?

How am I supposed to tell my T how I'm feeling?

How does someone solve this issue?

Thanks for listening
Belly
 
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su7kids
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6/7/07 2:11 PM
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My question would be, do you want someone to listen to you, or someone to help you get stronger and cope with the depression?

Its great to have someone you can speak to, and you feel safe with, but if you want to get OUT of this depression, however mild it might be, and someone to strengthen you to , as you said, use your strong sides, then maybe its time for a change.

Do you know what method of therapy she uses? Cognitive might be a good one for you.


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!

Edited: 6/7/07 at 2:13 PM by su7kids
 
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Belly
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6/7/07 2:23 PM
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She is definitely not a cognitive therapist :-)
I tried going to a cognitive T, but didn't like their style. I'm not a machine, which should be told what to do, and in a way I know how to get out of my depression by myself. I just need someone to support me.
I hate it when I'm being told of make a list of all the good things....
I know all these tricks. Sometimes it's easy to use them. Sometimes it's hard to do and it takes a while for things to kick in.
I think I'm upset because I don't want her to be my "close buddy" whom I can talk to about everything. I want to be closer to my husband. It's not realistic to have a husband who is always attentive, supportive,....
I want to have a relationship with my mother, and feel safe with her and not feel that my T is replacing this relationship.
I decided to make a point of calling my parents once a week. So they are not perfect, but they are far from being really bad. My T never told me to stop talking to my parents, but she kind of replaces them and therefore I stopped calling... Yes it's annoying that my mother keeps on hinting to me having only 2 kids and what's wrong, but I can't tell her that I'm taking meds and I can't get pregnant now.
I guess writing all this makes it more clear to me of what I'm going to talk about in my meeting tomorrow.

Thanks for asking me questions and making me think

Belly
 
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su7kids
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6/7/07 2:34 PM
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I think the idea, in cognitive therapy, of jumping straight to "the list of good things" misses some of the steps. I'm not a therapist, but the way I have understood the process is thatyou have to learn what is triggering your reactions and then replace that with tools that bring DOWN the reaction, whether its anger, or depression or whatever.

Then you know those tools, some of which are suggested, and then you endorse yourself for using the tools you did, so that you then get into the HABIT of using those tools to get out of the negative reaction FASTER the next time something happens to cause that negative reaction.

Does that make sense?

Those who know about Cognitive Therapy, is that basically what it is? Being cognisent (aware) of your reactions and what you can do to make those reactions different.


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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HopefulMommy
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6/7/07 11:44 PM
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I think you should find someone who believes in you. You deserve it! You can just tell your current therapist that you're taking a break. You don't need to tell her that you're going to another one.

I don't know exactly how CBT works for depression. I also think that the list thing is not at all helpful when you're in pain. For me, the main chidush of CBT was that my emotions do not define me -- that I can kind of look at them from the outside, in a more objective way, and not to take them so seriously. Maybe you could try a different cognitive behavioral T?

Good luck!
 
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Dr. Lynn
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6/26/07 12:33 AM
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good suggestions, everyone. In addition, I believe you can honestly tell your T what works in therapy for you and what doesn't, and see what she says.
a lynn
 
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