Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

 Tehilim List  < Refresh >
TOPIC TITLE: family therapy-UGH
Created On 3/20/08 9:10 PM
Topic View:

View thread in raw text format


fighter88
Supporter

Posts: 78
Joined: Jan 2007

3/20/08 9:10 PM
User is offline

my mom wants me to go to family therapy with her. we've done family t on and off for four years because of my ed and she says she thinks it's important to go to a family t, but a new one with a new start.
she wants it because she's started to have her own eating disorder(maybe she always had one, but now it's extreme) and it's HORRENDOUSLY TRIGGING to try and eat normal and stay on track when my own mother is eating her "dinner" carb free, fat free beside me.
i don't want to do family therapy because i don't like to talk about my feelings and i have a hard time expressing myself especially when my mother is in the room. yes, family therapy can be a good idea but i've been known to sit in complete silence during family sessions. i can't get myself to voice my feelings cuz so many times when i try i haven't been listened to. my mom has her opinion(that she's eating fine and i need to deal with it) and nothing i say can help.
i dont WANT to go to therapy and talk week after week about our relationship. i'm tired of therapy, talking, and "using my voice."


-------------------------
"I breathe, therefore I Hope."
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



su7kids
Senior Supporter

Posts: 485
Joined: Nov 2006

3/20/08 11:12 PM
User is offline View users profile

I think you should try it, and ask for a private session with the therapist, if you like her/him and tell the Therapist how hard you find to express yourself. I think thats an important part of family therapy.


-------------------------
Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



mouse
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1932
Joined: Oct 2007

3/21/08 5:08 AM
User is offline View users profile

At least your mom cares. My parents refused to go to family therapy even when my therapist of five years said she would quit on me. (She ultimately did because of this at her set deadline.) I agree that you should sit down and speak with family therapist on your own first and then periodically to check in on progress being made and whether this is beneficial to you.


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



bubbs96
Supporter

Posts: 151
Joined: Aug 2007

3/21/08 7:30 AM
User is offline

fighter, i'm so sorry your mother is giving you this kind of pressure. altho i have little to no contact with my parents, mine does the same thing from time to time, and it makes me CRAZY.....are you able to set up the "terms" of the therapy? ie--choose the therapist, set limits on what is going to be discussed? i assume that you are an adult? (ie, over 18)....if so, i think it is important that you set up your own boundaries (haha, probably another phrase you hate--i do!!) and don't let her bully you in this. it sounds like you live at home, so it's probably a good idea to talk about your mother's triggerring eating habits, but you don't have to give her free reign to say and do whatever she wants in therapy. maybe agree to a set number of sessions that are goal-oriented towards working out how the two of you can manage to eat together without it harming your recovery......if she gets upset, tell her you're only willing to start there, and see where it goes. In my case, my mother was the one to freak out and run away....(not that I didn't have a really hard time with our "simple goal-oriented" sessions, but I made sure I had a lot of support, and the family therapist we worked with was at renfrew and knew my background and was in contact regularly with my individual T and the rest of my team to make sure that I was handling things ok....)

anyway....just some thoughts.....good luck!!!


-------------------------
"Recovery is a process, not an event."
Even when it doesn't look like it, I am trying, and I'm doing my best in the moment.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



fighter88
Supporter

Posts: 78
Joined: Jan 2007

3/22/08 7:38 PM
User is offline

su7kids and bubbs, i know ur right. i just dont want to deal w more sessions and my mom not listening once again. i def will go to a session first if i decide to do it.

munkster, ur right i am lucky my mom is willing to do this...


-------------------------
"I breathe, therefore I Hope."
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

View thread in raw text format
FORUMS > Therapy < Refresh >

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.