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TOPIC TITLE: quitting therapist of eight yrs.
Created On 6/18/08 3:52 AM
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mouse
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6/18/08 3:52 AM
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I'm not sure what possesses me to write this. I guess I'm just not sure what to do. I've been discussing it with my therapist but it hasn't been helpful. I'm having lots of issues right now with being suicidal, self harmful, and in general depressed and dissociated. (I have a dissociative disorder.) When I was in the day hospital a few months back, I found DBT very helpful in a short period of time. My current therapist doesn't practice DBT although she admits it's probably the best therapy available for people with problems like mine. Here is the problem. I got to see the current therapist after an exception was made by the insurance company and she costs a fortune so the insurance company is unlikely to let me go back to her if I quit her now. I have ten DBT visits to decide if this is the way to go. That translates to five wks possibly even 2.5 depending how billing is done. (DBT program I am considering is 3 hrs. of group and individual a week.) I'm very nervous about switching as I know it is permanent but at the same time I'm hoping DBT will help things along a wee bit more quickly. I'm less suicidal and destructive than when I first started with this therapist (considerably so); however, I'm much quicker to overdose at a higher level when I get in that "mode." I can't see this therapist and DBT therapist at the same time. I guess I'm not sure if I should move on or not. She got me through some pretty rough times (parent who ultimately died of cancer, crazy mom, mother-in-law who died quickly of cancer, not rehired froma job, leaving job to go to day hospital, etc....) The thought of leaving her scares me also becuase it is such a permanent move. There is no middle ground that I can keep her. I would go back to day hospital, but right now there are no openings and anyway I have to work to help with the bills. Any ideas? Trying to sort this out. My therapist has brought it up a few times but until today it hasn't been a reality as my insurance wasn't so quick to approve such an intensive program. Oh yes, forgot to say the place is kinda far from my home...half and hour to 45 min. so babysitting is going to be a premium. Current commute is about 20 min. on a bad day. The program is in Trinitas Hosp. in Elizabeth. Anyone hear of that DBT program before? (I know it is unlikely as it seems most of this world lives in NY. Any suggestions?


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gad
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6/18/08 6:17 AM
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What does your therapist (of eight years) think you should do?

If you decide to move to the DBT, would your old therapist take you back if you felt the need?

If she would take you back, and if she thinks that you should try the DBT, then perhaps it makes sense to try the DBT since 1) you find it very helpful and 2) you now have the insurance for it.

 
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mouse
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6/18/08 7:57 AM
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My current therapist says DBT is the best therapy available or the issues I'm currently dealing with. I would most likely be unable to return to the current therapist once I have 10 sessions (or hours) of DBT (which could happen in about 2.5 wks since there is group therapy for 2 hrs/wk and indiv. therapy for 1 hr. a wk. ) since current therapsit was an exception made by the insurance company. Insurance comapny regrets their exception as she is more than twice the cost of someone in network and she is being paid at her rates, not in-network rates (kinda complicated). The problem is she was really highly recommended by several professionals in my area. I called up several and asked for the best ppl to work with and her name came up more than once. The insurance company agreed only because no one else could see me at that time and within that specialty (DID/dissociative disorder). So, in short, I most probably could not return to her unless I make a decision to discontinue DBT really early on. What do? Insurance doesn't allow 2 therapists at one time. I tried all ways around it, and no way. DBT ppl. also waant me to make a one yr commitment to see if it works. (I think that is because ppl. quit early on bcause it is difficult, but not sure.) I'm looking at program tomorrow. It will be a considerable expense as I will need babysitting for many hrs a wk and then the $18 copay per visit (or perhaps per hour, not sure...the group is 2 hrs.)


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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6/18/08 9:04 AM
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I also asked a rabbi/therapist who is quite prominent in the rabbi field and pretty well known in the therapist field his opinion (anonymously through email.) The answer I got that I should stay with current therapist. He didn't say why but I can imagine he was trying to get the email out as quickly as possible as he is a very busy person. So now I'm leaning towards staying with current therapist, but still second guessing since I've been "on edge" for quite some time and I know DBT has worked in past. Scared to leave current therapist because then ruining a good thing. but worried I may be missing out on something that is also good. ARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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6/18/08 11:22 AM
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Okely dokely, I found out why rabbi/therapist said don't do DBT. He said the personal connection and the trust are good and hard to find. He said I should discuss it with my therapist which I am kinda doing (we touched on it a few times) and will continue to do.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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gad
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6/18/08 4:30 PM
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Sometimes you can look at something from a simple, straightforward point of view. And sometimes you can delve into it deeper. And sometimes you can do both.

But the straightforward often seems to deal with issues straight on.

The straightforward here seems to say: Choosing the new way shows promise. But keeping the old offers a certain security.

So I think that this is the main question, do you give up security for a chance at a cure.

The Rabbi leans toward keeping the old security.

I wonder what the therapist says?


Edited: 6/18/08 at 4:31 PM by gad
 
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mouse
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6/18/08 5:51 PM
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She agrees that DBT is the best mode of therapy for the problem. In past we were trying to work out something that would be best of both worlds, but apparently that not possible. She thinks I should look at the program and go from there. I guess I will discuss it with her next wk. as my appt. with the DBT place is tomorrow and my appt. with her is Tues.


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gad
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6/19/08 12:54 AM
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Yes, looking at the program and then discussing it with your therapist should help a lot.

Perhaps you can ask the DBT people for their opinion, if they think that you should give up your current therapist. (The more advice you get from experts, the better chance of arriving at the right decision.)

Hope to hear good news.
 
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mouse
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6/19/08 11:07 PM
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Ok, went for initial consultation with head of prog. It went well, considering that I dissociated and scratched my arm up pretty hard. He did a good job of getting me "back" afterwards and generally seemed to know what he was doing. I would not for sure have him as a therapist, though I did say I preferred it if possible. He also expressed concern about the fact I worked with current therapist for eight years and would most likely be unable to return if and when I finished with the DBT program. I do think the program would be beneficial, but is it worth the price? Will discuss with my current therapist I guess Tues.


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gad
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6/20/08 3:31 AM
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It sounds promising.

And as for after the DBT, you could perhaps decide to deal with that when that time comes.

Hope to hear good news on Tuesday.

 
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mouse
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6/20/08 4:37 AM
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I was also thinking of just waiting to see what happens after I finish DBT with what I will do with finding a new therapist. Unfortunately, the one I would choose for myself that is in network is taken by my kid already. (At least I know he is getting good care.) Now I need to wait and see what my therapist and possible therapist decide to do. I told him to consult with her and see what she thinks is the best move. He isn't sure he wants me in the program because of the therapist issue. Whatever happens is for the best.


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gad
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6/20/08 11:48 AM
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Another option, if necessary, is to perhaps consult with a third doctor.

The third doctor is not personally involved like the first two, and may be able to give a more objective opinion.
 
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gad
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I just thought of another idea which may help.

To ask Dr. Price for his advice.

You could summarize the question, or you could point him to this thread:
http://frumsupport.com/Forums/messageview.cfm?catid=282&threadid=1580&messid=11724
and ask him if you can trouble him to read it and to give his opinion.

Have a good Shabbos, and may you enjoy good health with much Yiddishe nachas from your family.
 
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mouse
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6/20/08 7:38 PM
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In about Feb. I asked him about switching therapist for DBT. (It's in a thread under his section.) I didn't discuss the fact that I could not return to current therapist if DBT is unsuccessful; however, he did say I should discuss it with my therapist. He said there are different approaches to treating the problems I have and to see what furhter current therapist can do.


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gad
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6/22/08 8:15 PM
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I just want to take the liberty of quoting what Dr. Price said, and then writing how I understand it.

Here is what he said:

1. If your insurance is forcing you to chose between brief DBT or your current therapist, choose the latter and bring in DBT elements.

2. If your insurance will cover intensive DBT with on-going DBT follow-up, this may be the way to go.

3. I would try to petition an executive within the insurance company to try to create a combined option, perhaps stating that your family and attorney will hold the insurance company liable for adverse outcomes due to restricting your access to care.


Here is how I would summarize it:

1. Options: brief dbt vs. current therapist.
Do: current therapist and bring in some dbt.

2. Option: intense dbt with follow-up.
Do: Maybe do that.

3. Option: combined.
Do: This is the best choice. Try to petition and perhaps mention family and attorney.


So to summarize. It sounds like he is advising that your best choice is #3, but if that can't be done, then #2 might be better than #1.

I hope that this is helpful. Hope to hear good news.


Edited: 6/22/08 at 8:19 PM by gad
 
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mouse
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6/22/08 10:13 PM
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The way you summarized it sounds like what Dr. Price said. I'm glad you posted it so that I know I comprehended all the scenarios correctly. (I'm not so great at sorting out scenarios usually.) Sounds like number 3 is the best way to go but most unlikely to occur. I have had to threaten with actual attorneys in the past due to refusal of payment of therapist for very poor reasons and that had little impact on their decision making, so I don't hold too much hope for number 3. On Tues. I meet with my therapist and will discuss it further. I'm leaning to leaving her if insurance is not cooperative and don't feel too much regret. I have worked with her for a long time and perhaps have gained all there is from her. Furthermore, when I was in the day hospital, I spoke to her less than once every two wks. I'm not sure I would feel any abandonment issues (especially since I'm leaving her and not vice versa.) Lots to think about.


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gad
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6/22/08 11:35 PM
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It seems clear that Dr. Price was pushing for dbt in some form or another. And in #2 he even felt that it might pay to leave the current therapist for intense dbt. This tells me that he considers dbt very beneficial.

It sounds like you are leaning to #2 because of the benefits that you feel intense dbt can bring; and because #3 seems unlikely to happen.
And #1 (bring some dbt to current therapist) is something that I think you feel won't be too productive, since it's less dbt. And "perhaps I have gained all there is from her" seems to reflect this.

So you seem to be on the same wavelength as Dr. Price, that you both want dbt.

As for abandonment issues, I think that in some ways it may be similar to a child who is getting married and leaving the nest. On the one hand it is very difficult for both. But each one knows that it is important, and that this is what all the years of caring and rearing was for, to move on to bigger and better things.
And the parent and child still love each other strongly, and that bond is strong. And they will continue to feel the bond even when they are apart. And each will be happy knowing that they are taking the strength that they gained from each other over the years, and using that strength to accomplish many good things.

I hope that your meeting with your therapist goes well, and that you will have good news.
 
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mouse
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6/23/08 4:24 AM
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Gad, I can't thank you enough for suggesting I discuss this thread with Dr. Price. Furthermore, what you are writing makes sense. Going away till Tues. afternoon so may not be checking this for a day or so. (Doing what I consider the hardest mitzvah right now -- kibbud em.) Now the issue of DBT vs. therapist of eight yrs. has been talked out in greater detail than with other rabbi/therapist, I'm beginning to see the issues and solutions more clearly.


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mouse
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6/24/08 7:14 PM
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Okey dokey, I'm back from trip. Went to see my current therapist. She is supportive of the DBT plan even if it means I quit seeing her. She will be speaking to DBT therapist hopefully sometime soon. I also got opinions of two therapists from a day hospital I was in. Both agreed DBT would suit me better at this time, especially since I really belong in day hospital situation that offers it, but is not currently available. (Also, they agreed it a good thing since I benefited from it quite a bit when in day hospital for relativlely short period of time. I hope now they accept me into the program (likely), that I can make the time commitment (I think I can,) and most of all have the guts to leap into new situation.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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gad
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6/25/08 3:03 AM
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You're welcome


Edited: 6/25/08 at 3:23 AM by gad
 
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gad
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I'm glad that my input was helpful, and that Dr. Price did a lot to clarify the matter.

It looks like you're going with Dr. Price's second option: "if your insurance will cover intense dbt with on-going dbt follow-up, this may be the way to go". And it looks like that route is developing nicely.

May it be successful for achieving proper health, and may Hashem bless you and your whole family with much happiness.

Hope to hear good news.
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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7/14/08 11:51 PM
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Munk,
Can you give us an update?
a lynn
 
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mouse
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Still working on the logistics with the insurance company as the DBT program would like me to continue working with my current therapist. (She has some understanding of Orthodox Jewish traditions and law and how it can effect daily life plus I have a good relationship with her.) If it is not ironed out within about a week or two, I will most likely start DBT regardless of what the insurance company says and begin transitioning therapists. I will give update when I find out. Thank you for caring.


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frumsw
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I have been following your saga with bated breath. It's so maddening when insurance complicates our quest for good care. hatzlacha raba!


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bubbs96
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amen to the anti-insurance!!! it is amazing to me how impossible insurance companies can be....


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Even when it doesn't look like it, I am trying, and I'm doing my best in the moment.
 
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mouse
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Figured I'd give update. The DBT place is ready to have me join. I'm set up to meet with a social worker as a therapist which I guess is fine, but her hours are very narrow, and not realizing it, mine are too. She said she'd call me back about working out a good time, but hasn't yet, which gets me angry -- I don't like to be left hanging with no contact number to find out what is happening.

I'm also getting cold feet about switching therapists. Part of me knows I should do it, but then there is this teeny weeny voice that says don't do it. (In the form of an email.) This one Rabbi who I consult with on many related issues feels I should stay with my current therapist. He is pretty familiar with the situation but feels that current therapist is good and it's not a good idea to switch. It isn't like this Rabbi is uneducated either....He has a Ph.D in psychology and was a therapist for many years. So I'm stuck with lots of people saying I should and this one person who knows the situation quite well saying I shouldn't because she's good. The only reason I would not see this Rabbi's opinion as totally ok is that he doesn't know me really -- in real life he does, but this is an anonymous email account I'm using to ask him questions on.

And of course, there is the not-so-pleasant thought of "why bother?" as I keep planning to kill myself. ARGGGGHHHHH! But I guess that's a topic that belongs in SI, thus I'm hopping over there now to share my cheerful thoughts.


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gad
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8/31/08 2:10 AM
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Every Jew counts. You are important to your family and to your people.

I hope that your scheduling works out, and that the dbt helps, and that you will soon have good and happy news to post.
 
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HopefulMommy
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Munkster, you can't kill yourself! We need you!!! You don't even know how much you've added to this forum since you came here. You have this personality that comes through, despite the anonymity. You really care about people. You have so much to give.

I know, those are selfish reasons .

Good luck with making the decision. Ultimately, only you know what's best for you.

If this rabbi knows you in person, why don't you just tell him who you are? I don't know what your relationship with him is like, but I have a feeling that it will make you feel so much better. Why do you feel you have to hide from him?
 
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mouse
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Hopeful Mommy --
1. To stay in this world means giving up precious resources that could be better used on someone more worthy, so I'm not doing anyone any favors by being here.

2. Can't tell the Rabbi I email who I am because he is/was close family friend. He knows about the abuse issues and I'm pretty sure he knows who did it. He's in a position at the moment that makes him VERY vulnerable if he does not come forward to the authorities with that information and I'm not interested in "spilling the beans." Furthemore, I have asked him some very "icky" questions regarding SI and Shabbos and other things. He has said more than once in emails that he wishes he knew who I was so that he could get help for me. If he knew who I was the first thing he'd do is probably call my mom (even though I'm an adult) and tell her. My mom and I are on good terms on one level; however, I truly wish I could put her on and ice floe and walk away on the other. (Shooting her is just too messy.) If he knew how nutty my mom was he'd probably think twice before calling her, but he doesn't and therefore it's really risky. It's kind of complicated but I'm sure telling him who I was would make things really sticky and definitely land me inpatient -- and I'm NOT interested in that.


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Aba
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Munkster,
I can't believe you are still working on this, you first posted you are switching on "6/18/08 3:52 AM" over 2 months ago I am very impressed with your strength and fortitude. I'm sorry it is driving you crazy but I'm sure since you made it this far you will make the best decision and make it work.

>To stay in this world means giving up precious resources that could be better used on
>someone more worthy, so I'm not doing anyone any favors by being here.
It may sound cliche-ish but only you can accomplish your role in Hashem's master plan which makes you extremely worthy and everything he gives you, i.e. the precious resources, have your name on it and only exist for you
As HopefulMommy stated, just the role you play here can't be replaced.


>Can't tell the Rabbi I email ...
Is it possible he would agree to meet you on your terms e.g. he doesn't tell your mother, gives you some time before he would pressure you to go inpatient. Also, shouldn't clergy be obligated to keep things confidential from either your mother or the authorities.

Besuros Tovos
Aba of 4



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"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden

Edited: 9/4/08 at 9:39 AM by Aba
 
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mouse
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From what I understand clergy have the same responsibilities as therapists in regards to confidentiality. (i.e. If I say I'm suicidal he is obligated to rat on me.) He knows my views on life and death and has said outright he wishes he knew who I was so he could "get me the help I need." Also, telling him who I am isn't going to make much of a difference. He lives in another state and the only way to communicate would be phone or email. Plus, he thinks my mom is sane...she isn't and she is the root of many, many problems in my situation.


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Aba
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I see where you are coming from.
Please hold on from what you wrote DBT does sound promising.

Kol Tuv,
Aba of 4


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HopefulMommy
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Quote

Originally posted by: munkster
Hopeful Mommy --
1. To stay in this world means giving up precious resources that could be better used on someone more worthy, so I'm not doing anyone any favors by being here.


Not true!!! Hashem is infinite and has enough resources that you are not taking anybody else' by getting something from Him. Just the opposite. They say that each person brings more blessings to the world. The world exists on holiness, not on natural resources. Each holy Jewish neshama supports the world.

Besides, I can think of a lot of people who are less worthy than you. Terrorists and the like. Hashem keeps them in this world nevertheless.

 
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HopefulMommy
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I also see where you are coming from regarding this rabbi. Maybe he thinks you need to stay with your therapist because he feels that you need a connection to somebody who you trust and have a relationship with who has different views on life and death than you. He is afraid because he doesn't know who you are, he feels responsible for you, and he wants you to feel connected to somebody in real life. Would you have somebody like that if you switch?
 
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mouse
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I do not know who the therapist will be if and when I switch to the DBT program. I have a feeling I would need to see a few before becoming comfortable with one specific therapist and not regretting my choice. That issue may be irrelevant; however, since I seem to have a very narrow time frame that I can work in....(It must be between 3:45 and 4:15 that I begin an individual session.) Furthermore, I am encountering some babysitting issues that must be resolved before entering the DBT program so I do not go insane or try to kill myself for doing something incredibly stupid. (I know my children are being neglected with the babysitter and there is a possiblity of abuse.) I'm not sure if I'm just making up excuses for not continuing on to DBT and new therapist or if I'm truly correct in not starting. The narrow time frame is so my kids are not up at crazy hours of the night at a babysitter's more than one night a week. And the babysitter thing is reality. I'm also becoming a lot more self-destructive and I can't tell why. There are too many reasons for this occuring and I suspect one is my leaving current therapist permanently is a scary move or/and that maybe it's just another sign DBT should begin sooner rather than later. The most frustrating thing is that I think I am encountering some real issues with the current therapist and I've been able to discuss different problems more easily. I feel like I'm finally making some headway and that perhaps I should stay with the current therapist. I'm so confuzzled. I'm so close to switch to the DBT program and you'd think after all this time has elapsed, I'd be ready, but now I'm not sure if I am.


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Aba
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9/9/08 12:28 PM
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munkster,
When ever my wife needs to do something new we are on the lookout for her condition to worsen. She thinks that subconsciously she may be trying to sabotage it. This is besides the problems the added anxiety adds.

I think it is commendable that you are working hard so your kids' schedule is as normal as possible.
In the long run though I think they will be better off with an imperfect situation/schedule and you getting the help you need and deserve.

Besuros Tovos,
Aba of 4


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"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
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mouse
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9/10/08 2:26 AM
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I know in the long term my children's needs will be better met; however, currently I am seeking a new babysitter as the old one is at least neglectful and there may be some serious abuse issues with the son towards my daughter. Until the babysitting issue is resolved, I cannot put in such a time commitment without feeling really, really guilty and concerned.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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mouse
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9/12/08 3:19 PM
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AAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! After preparing to switch therapists mentally and attempting to make the transition smooth, I just found out it won't work out. They do not have a time slot for an individual session that will work with my session. Furthermore, I am having such difficulties with babysitter issues (babysitter cannot be used now because of suspected abuse) that even IF they had a time slot, I most probably could not take it. I'm so frustrated especially since at this point I am SURE that DBT would help as my current therapist said outright it would be best for me to join a DBT group. I'm cutting constantly (hourly) and binging and purging and just in general self destructing in a lot of ways. I know I'm going to be inpatient soon if something doesn't change, and I don't want to be inpatient. I'd love to go back to day hospital; however, I have to work to pay the bills so that is not really an option. I don't know what to do. I pretty much give up. There is no hope and never will be.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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HopefulMommy
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9/14/08 6:42 PM
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Munkster, ((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))

I just saw your post. So sorry about it not working out with DBT. It's so frustrating!

Maybe meanwhile you could work on your baby-sitter situation, and once you work it out, you'll be more flexible with your time. What do you mean that they don't have a time slot? Will they have one available some time in the future?
 
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Aba
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9/14/08 9:48 PM
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Munkster,
Though it may be hard for your kids is it possible to start off in a slot which isn't as good and switch when a better one opens up?
Aba of 4


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"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
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Debbi
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9/15/08 12:32 AM
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(((((((munkster))))))))

i cant believe this has happened after everything u have tried to do, to make it happen.
Sometimes things dont work out because perhaps they are not meant to be? Or that on some unconscious level you dont want so much change happening all at once? ..... jst a thought.

i really hope things will fall into place quickly for u and your family.

D,
 
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mouse
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9/15/08 2:32 AM
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Debbi, I considered that perhaps the problem is me not wanting to change and therefore sabotaging the efforts to get into the DBT program by limiting the hours. I'm just not so sure. I guess it is something worth discussing with my current therapist who advocating me going to a DBT group too.

Aba, I would love to say that maybe it better for my kids in the long term to have not such a great time slot and then switch to better one later on, but that is impossible. First, there is the babysitter issue. I'm not comfortable with my babysitter anymore as some circumstances have arrived that are making me paranoid about abuse issues (if not then just plain old neglect.) Furthermore, there are no earlier time slots available with the therapist I would see. She doesn't start individual sessions until 5:00 which means I won't get home until the earliest of 6:45 or 7:00. My kids go to sleep at 7:00. Then on top of that, there would be another day a week that the group isn't over until 7:00 and my kids wouldn't get home and asleep until earliest of 8:00. I was willing to do late hours like that once a week, but twice a week is a bit much for them and I don't want school work to suffer. (They wake up at 6 or 6:30 to start the day, regardless of when they go to sleep.) Basically, there are no other time slots in the near future, so I have to decide what to do.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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Debbi
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9/15/08 11:21 AM
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Munkster,
I hear all your reasons not to do this program.
Allow me to share something about myself.

In august i was "forced" into a partial hospitalisation program. When I went for the intake, the director interveiwed me. She knows me from my previous stay. As soon as I began to tell her the myriad reasons why I could not attend the program, she stopped me in mid-sentance, and refused to allow me to continue.
She basically explained that during my last stay, I spent so much time talking about how difficult, and overwhelming everything was, due to having a large family/cooking/cleaning/childcare travelling time/finances....u name it, I talked about it. Not to say that all those issues were not real, but they werent the main problem.

Logistics can usually be sorted out. Albeit perhaps not exactly the way u might wish, but i'm sure sufficiently to get u thru this difficult period.
When the director refused to listen to my logistics, I knew that either I took care of it, with others help, or I was out of the program.

I know u pr obably dont want to hear this Munkster, and I cringe as I say it, b/c it has been said to me so many times, and i closed my ears, and refused to hear.
Only now when my T, whom i respect, refuses to "enable" me any longer, can i begin to take responsibilty.
It hurts so much.
We want ppl to be there all the time, orchestrating our lives, making up for all the lonely lost years of our childhood.
I've been lucky enough to have a therapist who did as much as she could to allow me to feel cared for and fill that mindless neediness inside. There comes a time however when we have to take care of our adult selves and together with our support systems, begin to heal and make sensible choices for ourselves which inevitably is for our spouses and children too.

Hope i'm not way off the mark here, and I hear your depp pain and sadness. I hear how close u r to giving up again. Fight those feelings, embrace the part which comes here every day to connect to those who care about you, and "know" that u will get thru this yet one more time, and as many times as it takes.

My very best wishes to you ((((Munkster)))))
Be strong!
I know u can do this!
 
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mouse
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9/17/08 3:14 AM
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I have considered that perhaps I could make the time but wish not to. I've really thought about it because it's been bugging me. However, I don't think it's the case. I really am bogged down with too many "real" commitments. My son's social skills class doesn't end until some time in November. Maybe I'll try again then if he either doesn't gain much knowledge from it or doesn't need it some more. Either way, I really need to figure something out with the babysitter situation. Yesterday, Debbi, I was very angry about how you won't do the DBT program because of other commitments. Now I see you went for an intake and I'm thinking some more about how I can make it work.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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Debbi
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9/17/08 8:49 AM
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I'm really glad that u are even entertaining the thought.
Allow that pinpoint of health, to expand, until you can make the right decision to get the help u need.

I know u can make it work.
Look how far u've come up until now.
You've managed to get to this point after a lifetime of pain and sorrow.

Keep on going ...keep on going
 
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mouse
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10/3/08 3:56 AM
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So the DBT prog. fell through. Maybe it's all for the best. My therapist is now researching DBT material and slowly going through stuff with me part of the session. Maybe not the best solution, but at least a bandaide on the problem.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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11/16/08 11:17 PM
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Munk,
How's it going?
a lynn
 
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mouse
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12/4/08 5:15 PM
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Gee, just when I thought things can't get much worse....My insurance carrier is switching mental health providers and I will likely be required to find a new therapist. I feel so defeated. Nothing I do will make it better. Going into day hospital in a week. Don't really want to anymore cuz it's pointless -- what? to go back to a therapist I can't see in a couple of more months? They said maybe they'd make an exception but I have to wait until January which means there is no way on earth I am discharged from day hospital and back at job until then -- it probbably would have been that way anyhow; however, I'm not so sure this is gonna help get me back to work earlier, taht's for sure. Dunno. Life is really awful right now. Got out of day hospital yesterday. Find out today about the discont. therpaist in a few months. I have a really bad feeling about this. Really really really bad feeling.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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frumsw
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12/5/08 9:01 AM
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Sounds like you feel the rug has been pulled out from under you. It probably pays to continue seeing the therapist because they said they may make an exception. hatzlacha!


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mouse
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12/10/08 4:08 AM
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Something maybe may have happened. I called all the therapists on the plan that specialize in dissociative disorders with Ph.d and female (I purposely narrowed the parameters to increase likelihood of not working, plus those are the parameters I'm willing to work with right now) and none are able to see me...only two candidates. One said she would speak with the insurance personally and say she has no room in her practice and that even if she did it isn't a good idea for me to switch because diagnosis is too high maintanance. This makes it more likely the insurance will make an exception (which is what I need.)


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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