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TOPIC TITLE: covering scars
Created On 6/13/08 4:23 PM
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killedlastyear
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6/13/08 4:23 PM
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So around my guy friends i have no problems wearing sleaves that show my scars cuz none of them care.
But i feel like some of my girl friends would care.
So i dont think any of them have ever seen my arms.
cuz i feel bad that they'd get grossed out and then it'd be really awkward.
Should i just not care and wear what i want to wear? Or is it normal to take their feelings into consideration and cover up?
 
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mouse
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6/15/08 5:08 AM
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I'm not sure what your scars look like, but I would say if they are really obvious, cover up. The guy friends may not say it makes them uncomfortable or show it but that doesn't mean that they don't feel that way. Also, cutting is not a behavior that is considered accepted in this society and you may be treated differently in stores and by others if and when they see the scars.

Personally, I have scars but I'm not a deep cutter and therefore, they are rather light. I don't cover my scars because tehy are light; however, I do cover up cuts and any other visible forms of self-abuse. This is because I never know who I may meet (a coworker or somebody) and because I don't want to be stared at. One time at work someone saw a cut, and it wasn't a pretty situation. I thought I was going to get in trouble, but the person never said anything. I'm not ashamed of the cutting and stuff as much as I am aware that it makes others uncomfortable, even if they don't say.

I'm curious of other's opinions on this matter too.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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killedlastyear
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6/15/08 10:03 AM
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um yeah my guy friends are pretty open-minded. i know they have no prob with it. a few of them have even said its really hot.
as well as the people in stores. if i dont know them i dont care what they think. ive worn short sleaves in public before and have gotten no different treatment, from teachers at school, or people working in stores.
even though it's not accepted very much in society, it is very common, either from watching it in movies, or people know someone who does it.
p.s. if people can watch movies like saw and hostel i should hope that a few scars would hardly make them flinch.
it's really just my frum "sheltered" girl friends i care about. (they know i cut they just havent seen the scars).
 
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mouse
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6/15/08 12:02 PM
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dunno what to say. i understand the need to "protect" your "sheltered" friends that already know you cut and just haven't seen the scars. i guess i would cover up around them just to not offend but that doesn't sound like an issue. if they know you cut, they are in denial about scars.

i dunno. as for the friends who think the scars are "hot," i would seriously reconsider that friendship's healthfulness. i hope that doesn't come out too offensive though it prolly does. it's just that cutting isn't "normal" in this society and is generally a symptom of something seriously wrong with one's life. cutting just numbs the problem temporarily. i can't connect the dots as to WHY something is wrong with someone thinking they scars are hot or ok, but something is wrong with it. when a friend does has scars, friends should be concerned, not impressed.



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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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killedlastyear
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6/15/08 2:34 PM
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well i dont have the heathiest friends. considering many of them are on drugs and depressed as well.
i got over the whole cutting is bad and evil thing though. i dont really agree with that no matter how the world sees it.
as far as self harm goes i think its one of the lesser many evils. i'd rather cut then do crack. i really dont think its bad or harmful at all. so i guess theres not really much comparison to crack so i don't know why i said that. except it does give the relief effect.
anyway i havent cut in like months and im not planing on doing it anytime soon so this isnt about if im gonna do it again anytime soon or not. just about going to the beach and what i should feel comfortable wearing. and who i should feel comfortable going with.
 
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mouse
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6/15/08 6:13 PM
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I don't feel so much regret or shame about cutting or other self-injurious behaviors either. However, I do believe that it is not necessary or appropriate to show to others either. I just know Ms. Manners would have an issue with this one.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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