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TOPIC TITLE: It's my fault
Created On 3/27/09 4:35 AM
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mouse
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3/27/09 4:35 AM
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ok, i'm not even sure i need feedback for this though it's always welcome. 2 coworkers of mine got fired this week from a workplace that hires the braindead. i'm on edge. they never fire anyone for anything. one coworker is the speech therapist assigned to my classroom and i can't help but wonder if it had anything to do with me. the other is the assistant in my classroom and i KNOW that had something to do with me. the principal called me into the office right before they fired her and asked if she had done a certain inappropriate behavior in the classroom. i couldn't deny it because it was such a specific question that if anyone else was asked the same thing it would have been confirmed anyway. so i admitted she did it (which was true.) i almost got fired i think because i didn't report her behaviors in the classroom before the whole incident that ultimately led her to being fired. i just feel like i had something to do with her being fired and she is also a close friend of mine. now i feel crummy. i've been scratching my arm up and threatened to do a buncha things that almost landed me inpatient. i'm having such a hard time coping with this. i feel so guilty because I AM!!! i had something to do with her being fired. furthermore, i was told that if i had warned her, she maybe wouldn't have been fired. so now i feel like i betrayed her. shabbos is coming and i have to sit with these thoughts. i spoke with my boss regarding this in very very vague terms. told him it has caused me quite a bit of grief and if he was going to fire regardless of what i said, he should have just fired her and not involved me. he gave me a whole thing about "chain of command." i tried to explain in vague terms that it has caused quite a bit of grief, but i'm not sure he understood what i was hinting at (he knows i just came off disability for mental health stuff == and i'm almost positive he read the part that says "cutting" on the disability papers.) so either he was playing dumb, my guess, or he is dumb. i guess i needed to vent judging by how much i just typed. not looking forward to shabbos. don't want to be alone with myself.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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gad
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3/27/09 9:15 AM
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You did what you thought was right. And, as you say, your friend would have been fired anyway.

We often second guess ourselves. But once something happened, it was bashert, and would have happened anyways.

And as for our actions, we tell ourselves that at the time we did what we thought was right.

We can learn from this for the future.

But there is no reason to feel guilty.

Have a good Shabbos.


Edited: 3/27/09 at 9:22 AM by gad
 
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killedlastyear
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3/27/09 10:18 AM
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Munkster you are in no way to blame! I think you did the right thing! And your feeling bad about the situation shows that you're a caring person. But I think it's ok to feel bad for the person who was fired but not so ok to feel bad about yourself.
I know it's hard but I'm proud of you for handing the situation maturely. Especially going to your boss and letting him know how you felt (even if he didn't seem to get the hint)!
These situations are sooo hard, especially when they involve friends. But please please see that you did the right thing, that your boss fired her, it was in no way your decision, and please try not to let this ruin your shabbat.
 
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su7kids
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3/27/09 10:57 AM
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Its the person's ACTIONS that got them fired, not YOU confirming them. Obviously they had a hint that it was happening, but you just confirmed it.


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Proud Mom of 7, MIL to 3, Grandmom of 4!
 
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