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TOPIC TITLE: began to cut and overdose....again
Created On 7/19/09 4:21 AM
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mouse
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7/19/09 4:21 AM
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I began to cut and overdose again andhave very few regrets. Im frustrated cuz im losing my therapist of nine years and is very good. This time was just a mini od, next time i planf or it to b e more major. Ido'n't want to start with a new therapist who is only vaguely familiar with th e issues i have. plus,t he insurance comany therpaists allseem money hungy. Idon't want to live anymore.. there is nohope. spent all of shbbos inbed. wrtiting thrua drug haze. don't wanna do the worka nymore. don't wnnna live no hope.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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gad
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7/19/09 2:13 PM
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We all need you.

Hope to hear good news soon.
 
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killedlastyear
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7/19/09 5:43 PM
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i want to respond. but i never know what to say in these situations!
i feel like i've been so close to where you are now. the desperation and such and i know that no matter what anyone said it never really made me feel better. but when i'm not there. when it's someone else saying these things and feeling these things you feel so bad you want them to know that you care so much that they're hurting themself.

and you want to tell them to hold on.
and i want to tell you to hold on.
but i feel like it's so lame. that nothing i can say can live up to what i should be saying. and i don't know what i should be saying.
i don't know what, if anything, could make you feel any better. i do hope and pray that this level of depression is lifted up from you and you are able to have some view of the kindness in the world. and some enjoyment. and if not enjoyment at least some PEACE. i pray that you get through this.
please be ok.

(and if you do have any ideas of what we can say please share those).
 
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mouse
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7/19/09 8:23 PM
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my psychiatrist now wants to quit on me too cuz i overdosed and cut. life gets ickier and ickier. why bother?


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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gad
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7/19/09 8:39 PM
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Sounds like you're going through a hard time.
 
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channafofanna
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7/22/09 10:50 AM
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nothing i say will help but im responding and saying this stuff cuz i CARE - not for the greater good but for YOU becuase im going through almost the same thing and i feel for you
A. the fact that you are reaching out here shows that you DO care and you want to OD again but your looking for reasons not to becuase your unsire if your life really is that bad
B. with your consent you can have your old therapist give youre new therapist her notes and have them talk (ive had mine do that)
C. why bother living? make a list it may suck but it gives you a reason to hold on,
my reason for living - to spite myself, but hey it works!
D. cut and od .. AGAIN , whyd you stop last time? is it still aplicable?

i agree with killed last year, i cant be sure im helping or hurting , but i Want to help
good luck
sorry for this bad message - i tried

 
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gettingstronger
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7/26/09 9:52 PM
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I'm sorry to hear how much pain you are going through. I too have felt that way. I was just wondering if maybe joining a DBT group would be helpful for you. I have found it very beneficial in many different areas. May you only feel better.


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"Good therapy, like good cooking, takes time."
 
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mouse
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7/27/09 6:29 AM
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finally good news...insurance company wants to cooperate and let me keep my therapist. they apparently began to see it my way when i told them to mapquest the distance of some of the therapists they said were "available" for me.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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downandout
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7/27/09 10:31 AM
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Yay for you! I'm so glad. I really hope it helps for your recent issues. Keep strong and keep going....


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I want to love my life. My desire is what counts.
 
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gad
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7/27/09 12:09 PM
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Thanks for the good news.
 
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