Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

 Tehilim List  < Refresh >
TOPIC TITLE: cutting/suicide/hospital
Created On 1/7/11 3:13 PM
Topic View:

View thread in raw text format


Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

1/7/11 3:13 PM
User is offline

im in a downward spiral.
Cutting every day.
and then yesterday I felt better. More energy, happier.
I went to therapy today, and after talking a while we realised that the feeling of relief came bc of my plan to OD or cut my wrists.
Its really strange that these thoughts about suicide, cutting etc are on a very subconcious level. I mean I have these thoughts but they seem as tho they r coming from someone else, not me!!

Therapist keeps on asking me if I want to go into hospital. But why on earth would I want to??
I mean I hate being locked up, and anyway I can cut in hospital too. I did, last time and there is NOTHING anyone can do about it!
On the other hand it feels safe being in the hospital.
I feel like I'm in a white silent space where no one can harm me.
i dont know what to do.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

1/7/11 4:05 PM
User is offline

I'm sorry your going through something so difficult.

I just got out of the hospital, had to go in because of suicidal thoughts and wanting to kill myself. I cut two days before I went into the hospital, and the day I went in had someone not kept me home I would have gone to the pharmacy to buy pills. I was so close.... In the hospital I several times wanted to cut but somehow was able to go over to a nurse and tell them about my urges - I didn't cut cuz I didn't want to disappoint my doctors...... But I came close to cutting....

Your right they can't stop you from cutting except put you on one to one, but it is still a safer place than the outside world. Maybe you just need a few days to "air out" and then you'll be able to manage on your own....... Just a thought.

Again sorry your feeling so bad and I can so relate to the cutting every day I wish I can cut. Since my last cutting before I went into the hospital I'm having really strong urges to cut again deeper this time so deep that I would need stitches. Now that I came out of the hospital I feel so vulnerable and overwhelmed that I'm afraid I'll end up giving in.

Sorry if my post makes no sense.......

(((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))) ((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))) ((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

1/9/11 12:52 AM
User is offline

makes loads of sense, and i know u were in the hospital from reading ure other posts.
Its very hard to be bak in the real world after uve been in a safe place.

U shud be proud of urself for not giving in to urges. I hope u dont give in. I know logically that cutting is not gonna help in the long run. But in the moment it feels so right.
Can i ask u which hosp u went to?
If i decide to go i'm not sure where i wanna go.
did u have a gud experience? ( i know its not good but...

Ive been to four winds, westchester columbia presbytarian, and Lenox Hill.
Lenox Hill was the worst.
and last yr westchester had a kosher wing opened which was helpful.

hope u feel better


Edited: 1/9/11 at 11:21 AM by Debbi
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

1/9/11 1:25 AM
User is offline

I was in cornell. found the doctor pretty helpful. I was in westchester 4 times but before they had the kosher ward so I don't know how it is on that ward.

Hope u make the right decision........


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

1/9/11 11:22 AM
User is offline

oh cornell in manhattan? is Dr Nudman the dr there?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

1/9/11 11:39 AM
User is offline

He used to be the unit chief now he has his own practice. I use him as my private psychiatrist.


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Debbi
Senior Supporter

Posts: 488
Joined: Oct 2005

1/9/11 6:01 PM
User is offline

omg! I use him too- in fact im seeing him soon- he's pretty tough


Edited: 1/9/11 at 9:49 PM by Debbi
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

1/9/11 6:54 PM
User is offline

Yea I know he's tough......


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

1/9/11 9:48 PM
User is offline

Debbi, do u think he'll put u into the hospital?


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.

Edited: 1/10/11 at 9:48 AM by toy123
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

View thread in raw text format
FORUMS > Self Injury < Refresh >

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.