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TOPIC TITLE: Hi, I am a new member and need some support
Created On 8/2/11 9:45 PM
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wishtobehappy
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8/2/11 9:45 PM
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I just stumbled upon this website and was so happy to join this forum. I've been struggling with an eating disorder, anxiety, depression and self injury for years now, and really identify with you guys. I wish I could make everyone feel better, including myself. It such a relief to be able to communicate with those who understand. Hugs to you all.
 
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depressed
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8/3/11 1:39 AM
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So happy you found this! Its a lifesaving website for real!! Welcome!!!! (not that I'm an old member or anything but got hooked right away!)
 
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mouse
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8/3/11 6:25 PM
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Welcome to the Peanut Gallery ....nahhhh we're not that bad off.....we are all just going through some scrapes with life.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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wishtobehappy
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8/3/11 6:57 PM
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thanks for the welcome munkster and depressed, the trouble is, munkster, that even if you're a peanut on the inside (or you feel like one) you have to act like a human on the outside. That's one of the hardest parts for me.


Edited: 8/3/11 at 7:00 PM by wishtobehappy
 
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mouse
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8/4/11 6:51 AM
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Agreed; however, if you act it long enough, maybe, just maybe, you'll being to sprout .


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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wishtobehappy
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8/4/11 11:01 AM
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Munkster, how ya holdin' up? I read many of your posts and it sounded like you really had it bad, big time. Any improvement?
 
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mouse
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8/4/11 6:31 PM
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I'd luv to say all is well in happy wappy land; however, going through a rough patch currently....I'll probably get thru it...just right now, wish I weren't so afraid of heights that I won't jump off a bridge. know what i mean???
thanx for asking


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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wishtobehappy
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8/4/11 8:27 PM
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so sorry to hear. I know there isn't much I could say to help you feel better (from my experience, at least) but I'm thinking about you and you're in my prayers. Hope you feel better soon. Hugs.
 
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channafofanna
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8/23/11 9:11 PM
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you know what munkster?- im gald youre afraid of hieghts..
 
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chocnpeanutbutter
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9/8/11 4:09 PM
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hey, channafofanna - I just joined, but I'm beginning to see that you're like the practical one around here am I right? You sound like you've really got it together.


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Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.
 
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channafofanna
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9/16/11 3:12 PM
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me? im a 17 year old high school girl!! im not mature or any of that. i just have been around the block a few times and have heard everything therapists say cuz i switched 100 times.
honestly- does anyone get anoyed that im practical (whatever that is..) really dont worry being honset cuz i used to get anoyed at some posts to...
 
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wishtobehappy
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9/17/11 9:55 PM
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not at all... and being practical helps you focus on what could be done instead of wallowing in despair.... you're great just the way you are!
 
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chocnpeanutbutter
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9/18/11 1:59 PM
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I'm really sorry that you thought I meant it as a bad thing - I really didn't. Actually, when I wrote it, I hadn't seen all of your posts yet, just the ones giving support. But being practical is good - like what wtbh said - I can't figure out a good way to say it, she said it better. Anyway, wow, I didn't think you were 17, I guess these things make us sound wise beyond our years. Ok, don't get worried that I said that - it's a compliment!
Ok, let me start over. You sound like you are a really great person, that's all I meant!
I just spent like ten minutes on this post, cuz I didn't want to say anything wrong - hope it came out like what i meant to say.


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Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.
 
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channafofanna
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9/18/11 3:12 PM
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Wishtobehappy- thanks! but i dont necessarily think practicaly, i just can give practical advice now cuz im in a "high" get me at a rly rly rly rly rly rly rly low, and it takes all i have in me to refrain from saying "get a life and jump off the bridge with me" of course theres also the middle and almost rly rly rly rly low stage...
i never know what to say to help peole feel better, so i jsu t end up blabering hoping itl show i care...

Chocnpeanutbutter- love the name btw, YUM!!!
i didnt think you meant it as a bad thing. i took it as a compliment, i just wana make sure im not being anoying to anybody....
" didn't think you were 17, I guess these things make us sound wise beyond our years" ya, sometimes i feel 70, and living to 120? no way i wanna do that!!! i know i can be more mature than girls my age, but really , thats not saying much... teens these days are SO shallow (not to say that im not totaly shallow... just making a pt)
thanks for the compliment! you rly made me smile!! i totaly get what u menat to say...
im sorry you spent so long on this post. its really not nesesary. i dont want anyone to be on there tiptoes around me...

i was simply trying to find out if i shud be unpractical, cuz really, the words " be urself" mean nothign to me cuz ive got no clue who that is...
thanks guys!!!!


 
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chocnpeanutbutter
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9/18/11 3:32 PM
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[ the words " be urself" mean nothign to me cuz ive got no clue who that is...]
is there someone you could ask that you trust and that you know likes you and they could help you figure out who you are?
Also I think with age and experience you'll figure it out more. Yeah, I'm only 20, but I definitely have a better understanding of who I am than I did at 17.


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Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.
 
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wishtobehappy
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9/18/11 3:45 PM
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chana, nobody thinks practically all the time, and you're not blabbering, you don't always need to have pearls of brilliance rolling off your tongue, just being there and showing you care means a lot to everyone.


Edited: 9/18/11 at 3:46 PM by wishtobehappy
 
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channafofanna
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9/27/11 10:55 PM
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nope... i dont rly trust people (exept for anonomously....) like i x talk... i guess thats why i talk so much here, that i dont have an outlet that is sittingnext to me...
So thanks guys for helping me trust thus far... you rock!!
I think im starting to find myself, but i not sure if thats me pretending to act like a hyper kid who talks to like everyone to puish away my depression (its actualy B"H working!!!) or am i pushing the quiet me away by being so outgoing?
i think ill stay 17- i dont wanna wory abt money or shiduchim, lol...

Thanks Wish2bh and Chocapb!!!
 
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Aba
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10/2/11 10:59 PM
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>its actualy B"H working!!!

B"H my you keep going from strength to strength.
Kol Tuv.


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"Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - Coach John Wooden
 
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chocnpeanutbutter
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10/5/11 12:37 PM
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Amen, Aba. Channa, I'm really rooting for you, I hope things keep getting better. By the way, I met a girl at my t's office, and I decided that that was how I picture you - she was really cute, still in high school. I guess it doesn't really matter if it IS you are not - but it's interesting to know how people picture you.


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Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.
 
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channafofanna
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10/6/11 11:16 PM
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sorry, not me unless its from a LONG time ago... i droped out of therapy a little while ago, and i dont talk to people at T's offices if their frum cuz the whole jewish geoography, so basicaly in the waiting room i look down at my feet (even if im in a good mood, wich x happen anyway much when i went to a T)
thanks for the compliment! i hope im cute... but i dont really act like i do on here in the real world.... im like a total outgoing kid who does all the things in shcool (im a senior so i cud head like EVERYTHING) help tonz of people, run around doning stuff... the problem comes after school when the mask falls off...


Thanks so much Aba and ChocnPB.

 
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channafofanna
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and ur right, it is interesting....
 
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chocnpeanutbutter
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10/9/11 2:26 PM
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Yeah, i know about masks in school - i'm curious, i hope you don't mind my asking, can people at school tell anything, or do you have them fooled? I was always shocked that people STILL thought i was this perfect student even after i started skipping classes and stuff.
also, when you're faking it in school, do you forget about your problems a little, or are you hurting inside?
i'm a little jealous cauz i've always wanted to be really outgoing, it's like in my nature, but my social anxiety doesn't let me. i guess social anxiety is not an issue for you. i know, i know, everyone has their own package. Do you think it's true that we would pick our own if given the choice? (you know that mashal that people say)
I don't know why i become so rambly on this site, in real life i am like the most thought out person.


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Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.
 
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chocnpeanutbutter
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10/9/11 2:28 PM
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i'm so sorry you dropped out of therapy - do you have anything else that helps you stay afloat right now? (besides frum support i mean) you don't have to answer if you don't want to.


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Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.
 
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channafofanna
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10/9/11 4:23 PM
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can people at school tell anything... i hope not. im pretty good at fooling people... exept for the people who i have tried to get to be my friends thru making them feel sory 4 me (it x work!!!!) evryone else thinks im a totaly hyperactive kid... sometimes when im rly bad for a while (like month) the teacher/ school tells my mother and i get put back in therapy, while my mother trys to convince them its my anemmia that makes me tried and stuff (btw- im not rly anemic....)
Do i forget abt my problems when im faking it? now that i take it over the top, i do, but when i was just pretending to be normal, i didnt. ..
oh, and for some reason the more a fool i make of my self the less anxious i am bat what ppl think abt me.... weiord...
wud i pick my package? actualy, ive put alot of thought into it in the past, and i would taek mine..but i x no if everyone wud.....
how do i stay afloat? i pretend.....
sry if none of this make sence..im a little spaced/dazed....
and go ahead, ask whatever u want i x care...
 
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pie
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2/1/14 10:52 PM
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channafofana- do you still feel that way or have you really pulled yourself together since?

also, you wrote that you fool people
"exept for the people who i have tried to get to be my friends thru making them feel sory 4 me (it x work!!!!)"
you made me smile at that- how did you try to make friends with people by making them feel sorry for you?
 
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channafofanna
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2/2/14 9:49 AM
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Hey Pie!! Welcome to FS!!!
Im not so sure what aspect you are asking if i am still like, but the answer is yes anyway... Im in therapy now, but I dont talk to my therapist ( as in last session I said 8 words) People still see me as really happy even though Im as far from happy as possible...
I used to try to get people to feel bad for me by hinting that im really not okay and then i thought that they would feel bad and just be my friend ( like real friend) but I couldnt show enough to people to actualy make them feel like they need to help me.... so Its my fault....I kind of have a friend now but I dont talk to her cuz its to hard for me....
Glad I made you smile!!
 
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channafofanna
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2/2/14 9:54 AM
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wow, its weird actualy.. I was just thinking im no better than I was back then, and Im even worse now... a lot of cutting and stuff like that... I guess if youre not working on getting better, then you are gettting worse...
 
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pie
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2/2/14 9:49 PM
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aww, i'm sorry, that doesn't sound too fun.
do you have anybody that you can really talk to?
or that you really WILL talk to?
 
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channafofanna
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I talk on here, I guess. Other than that I have a journal and a razor.... There are tonz of people who I CAN talk to, I just have to grow up and want to talk...
What about you?
 
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