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TOPIC TITLE: Wish I could.....
Created On 12/21/16 5:19 PM
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mouse
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Posts: 1932
Joined: Oct 2007

12/21/16 5:19 PM
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Wish I could cut right now. Wish I could feel the pain. Wish I could see the blood. Wish I wasn't so lazy.


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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channafofanna
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12/25/16 9:35 AM
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Hows it going Mouse? Are you still having urges?
 
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MoMo
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12/25/16 7:43 PM
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How are you Mouse and Chana?
 
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TBear
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12/28/16 10:02 AM
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Keep fighting the urge mouse.... I lost my fight earlier this week - ugh! Hated myself after.
 
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channafofanna
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12/29/16 6:14 PM
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Its so nice to have the "old gang" back on here again, though it's kind of sad on some level that most of us are still struggling with our mental illnesses. Feel free to share what's going on with you as well Momo, and reach out for support on here in the areas you need it.
Would you like to share more about what's going on that's bringing up the urges to self-harm TBear and Mouse?
I'm just trying to hang in there and enjoy the times when I'm feeling ok, and basically just trying to figure out what direction my life will go in as I hope things will just keep getting better.

 
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TBear
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12/29/16 8:18 PM
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I actually have been integrating walled away experiences and feelings. But that means that when strong feelings hit I feel them and it becomes overwhelming - I go numb then and end up cutting to bring myself back to the here and now - it is a way of handling intense feelings that i have not been able to handle in the past.... but then I hate myself for being so damaged that i "can't handle" not very kind to myself - this work of dealing with pain is just so hard - I guess hurting myself is a way to give an outlet to pain I do not know how to deal with - like giving a bloody outlet to what has caused emotional deep wounds.... Still trying to work on healthier ways of coping...

On the other hand it is nice to see the "gang" posting here again - even though it means there is ongoing pain..... So sorry that we all aren't past this - but as I said in the depression thread - I was thinking about you guys..... I do believe that all of us are warriors of a different kind and I know Hashem has a reason for us to be here - wish I knew what that reason was!
 
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