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TOPIC TITLE: I'm doing it again
Created On 7/5/13 1:23 PM
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channafofanna
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7/13/13 10:21 PM
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how was ur shabos?
do you think maybe scheduling urself some tiem every day or week to hang out with people would be a good idea for you?
 
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star
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7/13/13 11:16 PM
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thanks. lonely. it would but i really dont have people who want or can hang out with me. the guy isnt answering my texts or calls so im surfing bad stuff on the web cuz i feel so unwanted and lonely.


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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channafofanna
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7/13/13 11:20 PM
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i guess theres no way i can convince you to surf on aish.com or jewlarious, right? =)
 
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TBear
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7/14/13 6:15 PM
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What happened to the "maybe" date with the "too frum" guy?

Ya never know - there is one man who has been in phone contact with me on and off for 3 or 4 years. He is kind and gives attention - and asks me for advice, makes me laugh - but always says I am "too frum". Honestly - we could have a real relationship I believe, if he didn't think that way - and he is constantly calling me to tell me about how the less frum ladies don't treat him right..... Finally - I had to distance myself from him because he was bad for my self-esteem, and why was I wasting time on it? Why - because I was lonely, and needed the connection. he filled a need I had - I never met him in person - and it wasn't physical (so I realize it is not the same) but - it was an attachment (funny, as I am typing this - I just got a phone message from him that I am probably going to kindly deflect - if it isn't going to be real, I deserve better... as much as I want to talk to him)

Please try to be kind to yourself - you know you deserve better treatment, and yet it is obvious that this relationship is meeting a very strong need that you have.

Everyone needs connection and attention. That being said - some relationships can go from being the attention you need to a harmful one you don't need. Please take care of yourself.

Sending hugs and care ~ TBear
 
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star
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7/14/13 9:25 PM
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thanks. had a date with the frum guy today. hes sweet but kinda slow and yes i kept comparing him to the other guy in looks etc. his suit was wrinkled and not ugly but not good looking and yes it matters to me however vain that is. and kept making stupid jokes. prob will go on another date if he wants to but idk cuz i told him in watch movies....


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TBear
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7/14/13 10:41 PM
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Yeah - dates during the nine days are kinda strange - people really can't look their best..... so it is hard to know

Anyway - good for you for trying - just don't sell yourself short, with either - you want the right man at the right time.....

Just keep focusing on taking care of you..... so you are the right match for him - wherever he may be.
 
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star
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7/15/13 5:21 PM
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good point, he prob didnt do laundry. but ironing?he was upstate for shab. but from his fb pics he didnt look put together either.if he seemed really sensitive i wouldnt care about him looking shlumpy. anyways today i started a new job bh, filing orders in a grocery store, it pays poorly and i know its a bit demeaning but i dont have to interact with ppl too much and theres a cashier there i like and he was friendly to me but i have to find out if hes single.for now its part time but it feels good to be needed. plus i can listen to music the whole time-huge plus.


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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keep climbing
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7/15/13 8:09 PM
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Sounds good, star. Hatzlacha!
 
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star
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7/16/13 1:31 PM
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thank you. today im watching movies and feel so guilty.............but dont know how else to pass the time.no energy to go out.


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channafofanna
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7/16/13 4:15 PM
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If watching movies is the best you can do then your doing your best and there is no reason for guilt. If you can maybe muster up the energy to join a tisha baav weibinar or leave the house or read a book or something, then there is still no place for guilt, rather a place for actiomn...
 
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star
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7/16/13 4:21 PM
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thanks channa, your so nice, im glad ur back from sem.
i took a taxi to the bank to get a new credit card cuz my old one froze cuz i was negative balance which sux!andnow im by the library feeling very weak but at least im out of the house. hope u fast ok too


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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channafofanna
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7/16/13 6:04 PM
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(((((((HUGS))))))))
Its almost time to break the fast!!! Ull make it!!
 
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star
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7/16/13 9:13 PM
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made it!yay!


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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channafofanna
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7/16/13 9:34 PM
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yay!!
 
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star
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7/17/13 8:59 AM
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....today I'm at work and bh can I say I love it? Basically we sit around til orders come in and then go around with a shopping cart and fill it up. No forced interactions with ppl. Just bad pay, like 750 an hr and every item I put it in the cart is another penny. But a jobs a job.


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keep climbing
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7/17/13 9:19 AM
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For me, having structure in the day is worth a lot.......
Hope it works out for you, star.
 
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star
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7/17/13 5:06 PM
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thanks.


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