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TOPIC TITLE: Guidelines
Created On 9/3/13 1:40 PM
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star
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Posts: 1982
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9/3/13 1:40 PM
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We're all hurting I think. At least i can speak for myself.
When Im hurt, I admit that I can lash out in self defense.
I wish it didn't have to be that way.
I think because I was bullied as a kid and couldn't stick up for myself so now that I can, its impossible not to.
Im hearing everyones, or someones, replies as I write this.

Can we possibly try to stick to some general guidelines while replying to one's post?
Here's some, feel free to add:

1. TRY to validate. "It does hurt to feel ignored...."

2. TRY to Accept. Suggestions are welcome, but only when asked for.
When a kid complains he cant tie his shoe, do you think he wants you to do it for him or would rather the undeniable feeling of accomplishment, when doing it himself?
"tying shoes can be really tough. Look how hard you're working, thats called perseverance." or for an adult:"It sounds so tough taking care of your kids. Good for you for pushing through."

3. I gotta put a DONT: TRY not to deny one persons feelings even if you feel differently. To each his own, its all relative.
"Look at the cup half full." can be really hurtful to someone who is struggling to get out of bed. Now it turned to self blame for feeling negative, on top of the depression.

I hope I haven't come across egotistical, and Im sorry if i did. I just want to see if we can all be more sensitive to each other. But I can't make the effort alone. So please help.


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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star
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9/3/13 1:44 PM
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4. No Labeling /Name Calling. This should've come first. Seems pretty basic. Dont think examples are neccessary.


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mouse
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9/3/13 1:55 PM
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Wish you could post this on all the other boards in this category too . I think with the year coming to a close and Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur are upon us, we should find it a new beginning. I hope most are mochel me for my actions -- ahh ok, all.



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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.

Edited: 9/3/13 at 1:57 PM by mouse
 
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Mimi1022
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9/3/13 2:33 PM
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Thanks for the tips!

Shana tova!
 
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I'mTrying
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9/3/13 4:31 PM
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5 star post, Star!!!
Wishing you a year of 'alle gutte zachen'- everything that you wish for yourself.
Including your soul mate.
I know I must have hurt people here- i hope that anyone who felt slighted by me can find it in their hearts to forgive- and if not please let me know so i can make amends.
 
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HopefulMommy
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9/3/13 4:42 PM
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Thanks for guidelines, star! Great idea, and great points. I'd like to do my part in making this forum safe for everyone, and I hope everyone else feels the same way.

Kesiva vechasima tova, and may this year bring only good things.
 
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star
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9/3/13 6:08 PM
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thanks guys. i was worried id sound like a hyprocrite. thanks so much for the bracha imtrying. just dated the 16th guy in 9 months!we argued about his opinions about my hashkafa the whole time so dont think itll work. found another guy on jwed but from speaking to him i think he has aspergers. not his fault but i need someone who can empathize with my feelings. sadly im coming to the conclusion: MMAJ- Most Men Are Jerks. for those of u who found decent men, i guess it was a different generation,i dont mean cuz ur old , just something my t said. theres no quality guys these days. or the quality guys are sensitive and have their own issues and cant take on mine as well.
i daven to hashem all the time, say my name when i give tzedaka for a shidduch, and yet.........why???


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