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TOPIC TITLE: Yom kippur without guilt?
Created On 9/12/13 9:31 PM
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star
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9/12/13 9:31 PM
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Can anyone give me a perspective to go into yom kippur with that could possibly make me look forward to it, instead of dreading another day
alone without tech distractions and guilty feelings galore? could Gd possibly forgive all his laws ive broken, in attempt to dull the pain of depression?
this year i broke many new things, i feel like confessing, please dont judge:

movies and books that are not clean but distract me the most.
shomer.
kol isha.
shabbos- but had a heter but didnt use it the whole way.
rosh hashana " "
lots of lashon hara
not davening enough
and more...


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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I'mTrying
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9/12/13 10:30 PM
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Quote

Originally posted by: star
could Gd possibly forgive all his laws ive broken, in attempt to dull the pain of depression?
this year i broke many new things, i feel like confessing, please dont judge:

movies and books that are not clean but distract me the most.
shomer.
kol isha.
shabbos- but had a heter but didnt use it the whole way.
rosh hashana " "
lots of lashon hara
not davening enough
and more...


Sounds like you're doing what Yom kippur is about-
The only piece that would make it a very healthy teshuva -(besides taking on yourself not to do it anymore, which is likely too much for you right now and actually fits right in to the next piece)- is to not beat yourself up with guilt.
You confessed, you feel sorry,if you could, you would take upon yourself to try not to do it again, and that's it!! now comes the part where the kohen gadol goes out of the Azarah and there's singing- the joy, confidence that Hashem our loving and compassionate Father will accept our regret and repentance.
I know for myself that I have a very difficult time around the Yamim Noraim precisely because I can't let go of the guilt. and because I don't know how to tell myself - Hashem loves me, and doing teshuva is a simple process. a one time deal. I don't actually have to beat myself up over and over and over and over and over again for each sin.
Acknowledge, feel regret and try not to do it again. That means whatever is in your control. And then you are done. finished. no guilt.

Remember this thread? I pulled out my post from a couple months ago.

http://frumsupport.com/Forums/messageview.cfm?catid=274&subcatname=Mental%20Health&threadid=3277


"Right now our job is to do what we can, and NOT get hung up on what we can't.
Before the Yamim Noraim last year I asked a Rav who knows me relatively well what I have to do. He answered that I should just do/ pray what what I feel like, and DEFINITELY not to focus on the Al Cheits- just to kinda skim them. I then asked him How can I say I regret what I've done and I will not do it again if I know I will do it again, and I don't mean what I'm saying. He told me that I don't need to ask for forgiveness for the sins I coudn't have prevented. Being me, a perfectionist, and always thinking that I could've done more, done better, tried harder no matter what, I asked him how do I know which ones qualify? To which he told me that if holding back from something makes me feel bad (ie. could lead to depressive thoughts etc) then it's considered a sin that was not in my control.
Convoluted, I know. Just want to send home the idea that maybe Hashem gets it? And maybe He is more easygoing and compassionate than we could ever be...."



May we all have a meaningful and easy and smooth fast. May we all have the courage and strength to face ourselves in a healthier way.
May we merit a sweet and peaceful life and may we merit to see the truth of Hashem's compassion and love revealed to us and to the entire world.


Edited: 9/12/13 at 10:31 PM by I'mTrying
 
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HopefulMommy
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9/13/13 12:52 AM
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That's beautiful and inspiring, I'mTrying!
 
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star
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9/13/13 9:50 AM
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thanks so much for reposting that,im trying. what are you guys doing about taking meds with water on yom kippur? my doc said its ok but i still feel so guilty. i cant take before or after cuz if i miss effexor i get dizzy and i cant take serequol early cuz i fall asleep.


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there is light at the end of the tunnel
 
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star
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9/14/13 9:49 PM
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imtrying, i was thinking of your words while i davened, and it helped. thank you. hope you all had an easy fast and have only joy this year.


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I'mTrying
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9/15/13 10:48 AM
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Thank you so much, Star.I am so glad that it helped. I had you and everyone else here on FS in mind yesterday in my tefillos.
I want you to know that it is you who helped me this Yom Kippur. I was able to keep my own words in mind precisely because I was forced to think about it and listen to myself after responding to you.
I also noticed during slichos in maariv of Y"K night it says something that hit me so strongly- I'll quote the artscroll translation:

"Your people and your heritage, who hunger for Your goodness, who thirst for Your kindness, who long for Your salvation- may they recognize and know that to Hashem, our God, belong mercy and forgiveness."

Wow! Not only is it true that Hashem really has compassion for us- but there is a special tefillah for those of us who have trouble, but want to believe it. We can ask Hashem to help us believe and feel His goodness!
How incredible is that?
 
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star
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9/15/13 9:45 PM
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beautiful. thanks.


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mouse
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9/16/13 3:56 AM
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I wish I had seen this post erev YK....either way, my fast was ok. I just focused on how I'll improve this year.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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HopefulMommy
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9/18/13 12:29 AM
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I was also thinking of your post, I'mTrying. Especially during the al cheits .
 
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