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TOPIC TITLE: Crohns and Shidduchim
Created On 4/30/06 12:11 AM
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guaranteed
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4/30/06 12:11 AM
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I am a 23 year old single female.
Has surgery and symptom free for over a year and a half BH.
I am looking for a Shidduch - at the beginning we were not telling the boy about my condition untill I have been out a few times. By now, the fact that I have crohns is well known. (My father passed aways just after I was diagnosed, so during the Shiva everyone new that I was ill and that was a big topic of conversation.)
It is not correct to be secretive - that I know, but people are nervous of me. Even with a bit of research they can be put off. Sometimes I don't blame them because some of the web sites can put it quite negatively! I.e. I read somewhere that a high percentage of people get flare ups within 3 years after surgery!!!

My question is, if the boy knows about the crohns, what do I say that will not make him nervous?

Has anyone else come across the problem of crohns preventing Shidduchim?

Thanks.
 
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cd123
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4/30/06 1:36 PM
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I heard this from others who have Crohn's...
Two girls said that they were going out and brought this up saying that the boy should look into it and bring back any concerns to question her. B"h these two shidduchim went through..the boy realized that it generally means having his wife get sick once in a while. Each situation is different...please keep us posted.
Hatzlacha!


Edited: 11/21/06 at 11:40 PM by cd123
 
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guaranteed
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4/30/06 11:11 PM
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Thanks
That is great advice and good encouragement too.
I will keep you posted.
Also one must realise that everything is in the hands of Hashem. I believe that all will be for the best!!!
 
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BH613
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5/1/06 1:58 PM
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As someone with a chronic illness myself, arthiritis, and with a son with chron's, I can say that in some ways you are very lucky. You will get a shiddach with a person who can handle some illness and that will ensure that he will be special!!! You should ask a shailah when you need to discuss it ( I was told that I only need to do so on the third date if I feel that it is going somewhere). You should give the boy your doctor's (or some dr.'s) phone number and maybe CCFA's website for info.
Hatzlocho Rabboh,
Miriam
 
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cd123
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5/1/06 8:35 PM
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Thanks...


Edited: 8/28/06 at 5:35 PM by cd123
 
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CAP
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11/2/06 8:29 AM
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You might want to visit a new thread SHIDDUCHIM under OTHER.... GENERAL.

May we all find our Bashert at the right time!!
 
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guaranteed
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11/7/06 9:24 PM
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BH I am engaged to be married in a couple of weeks. But thanks for all your kind words.
Wishing everyone to find their Bashert speedily!
 
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ayiddishemommeh
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11/8/06 1:03 AM
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MAZEL TOV! May you live ever happily together & build b'ezer hashem a bais nemon b'yisroel. may we all share simchas .
 
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hb
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11/8/06 9:01 AM
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Mazel tov!
 
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cd123
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11/8/06 5:37 PM
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Mazel Tov! ...thanks for your encouragement.


Edited: 11/21/06 at 11:41 PM by cd123
 
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BH613
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11/9/06 1:59 PM
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Mazal Tov. When did you decide to discuss your chron's?
Miriam
 
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guaranteed
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2/1/07 8:51 AM
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I didn't mention anything till the end of the 3rd date - because then he was going to travel to see me. However I was sure that he knew, (Which he did know and had thought about it and decided to go ahead nevertheless) but just wanted to double check personally before he payed money to fly out to continue dating. At that point we discussed it openly and I made him see that I was totally fine and that it didn't effect my life.
Now we are extremely open about it and my husband is very supportive!

Hatzlacha to all and may we only have Simchas in our lives!

 
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cd123
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2/2/07 12:55 PM
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I'm b'h engaged! I'm getting married in a couple of weeks, B"H!
 
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BH613
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Mazel Tov and may you be zocheh to build a bayis neeman biyisroel.
Miriam
 
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