Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

 Tehilim List  < Refresh >
TOPIC TITLE: ADDICTION??? DON'T KNOW....
Created On 11/1/11 10:34 AM
Topic View:

View thread in raw text format


crazykid
Senior Supporter

Posts: 248
Joined: Oct 2011

11/1/11 10:34 AM
User is offline

OMG! I read chocnpeanutbutter's post and i never knew that such obsessive thought about my T is a problem! Is it really bad??????? I dream about him every night and i never thought this is problematic. Can anyone explain to me what is wrong with such a relationship? I am EXTREMELY attached to him cz i feel that he is giving me all that i was missing the past 18 years! I desperately need his emotional support and affection! Is it a problem? He is the only soul I confide in! He is everything for me! And it's weird, but i also feel this push/pull towards him. Like after a 2 hour session i am so happy and satisfied but after a few days that feeling fades away and i constantly test his compassion towards me(which i hate doing but i'm afraid i'll lose him) and i have to talk to him every day (on the phone) to satisfy my longing for someone that should love me! Help me!!!! Any suggestions?????????


-------------------------
Sometimes your medicine bottle has on it "shake well before using". That what GD has to do with some of His people. He has to shake them well before they are ever usable.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

11/2/11 11:07 AM
User is offline

chocnpeanutbutter was not talking about her therapist, but a business relationship, I think she mentioned in a different post that it was her driving instructor, but am not sure, anyway, about your therapist, is he reliable? and is he maintaining the appropriate boundaries? if he is, than I wouldn't worry, but if not, then you've got a problem on your hands...
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



crazykid
Senior Supporter

Posts: 248
Joined: Oct 2011

11/2/11 11:10 AM
User is offline

what do you consider reliable? I think he def is... and what exactly do you mean by boundries??????


-------------------------
Sometimes your medicine bottle has on it "shake well before using". That what GD has to do with some of His people. He has to shake them well before they are ever usable.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

11/2/11 11:20 AM
User is offline

I didn't mean to make you nervous, just anwering your question... unforutnately, there have been some therapists of questionable character who've taken advantage of a vulnerable client and exploited her for their own twisted needs, and you mentioned your t was male and much older than you, and you sound really vulnerable, coupled with the fact that your parents are not involved, well, that's perfect breeding ground for exploitation... if... he's not trustworthy that is... but I don't have a clue if that's the case... you just asked if it could be problematic, and the answer is that under certain circumstances it could... so, questions to ask yourself are, is he saying anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, being overly affectionate or inappropriate? it may feel good, but is very damaging long-term...
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



crazykid
Senior Supporter

Posts: 248
Joined: Oct 2011

11/2/11 11:27 AM
User is offline

actually, my parents are involved but they don't know the real situation. they talk to him about other issues too. He surely does not expose any confidential information i share that's for sure. I am very affectionate towards him cuz that's precisely what i'm missing at home so maybe he's trying to compensate, i dunno. i always tell him how much he helps me and it's true. He is the only soul i trust and he is my lifeline. I dunno if it's very healthy but i'm extremely attached to him. maybe later on he'll ween off a little bit of the connection but now i'm utterly dependent on him. I'm only 18 years and i have been in therapy for just 6 months- if this is what matters-.... Pls answer my questions...wishy..


-------------------------
Sometimes your medicine bottle has on it "shake well before using". That what GD has to do with some of His people. He has to shake them well before they are ever usable.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

11/2/11 11:32 AM
User is offline

as long as you feel safe and he's acting appropriately and he's helping you than I wouldn't worry in the least bit, and in the future, if you're not sure about it or feel uncomfortable in any way you can always post here to ask people for their opinion..
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



crazykid
Senior Supporter

Posts: 248
Joined: Oct 2011

11/2/11 11:37 AM
User is offline

thanks loads!!!! you really took some weight off my shoulders. I can't imagine cutting off connections anyhow. not even reducing my frequent phone calls and visits. I HOPE REALLY HARD that it won't turn out to be a problem later on. hooooo I really want things to get better


-------------------------
Sometimes your medicine bottle has on it "shake well before using". That what GD has to do with some of His people. He has to shake them well before they are ever usable.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Ineedspace
Supporter

Posts: 106
Joined: Aug 2011

11/2/11 2:51 PM
User is offline

what you are feeling is so normal and common in therapy. imagine, after all you've been through, you finally walk into therapy and you discover something you never believed existed. A human being with unconditional kindness, empathy, tenderness, and acceptence. How can you not love him. it's a normal and natural response, especially for those whose early childhood/infancy attatchments were dysfunctional and injured. Therapists may become the "mother" or "father" figure providing the unconditional love and acceptance, and it's just so easy to idolize them. It is important that you accept these feelings without shame. Share these feelings with him, being honest and open with him is only healing for you. That's to say, if you're working with a professional in the field, which most likely you are. Regarding boundaries- (what whistobe brought up - and is actually important) boundaries are the limitations in therapy between the therapist and client. To have a better understanding of what your boundaries are i would say you should have an open discussion with your T.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



crazykid
Senior Supporter

Posts: 248
Joined: Oct 2011

11/2/11 3:02 PM
User is offline

THANKS SOOOOO MUCH ins. for your post. You really reassured me! It is exactly as you say, I LOVE my therapist! and I thank Hashem every day for sending him as a shliach to help me. I just can't imagine being without him........Yes and I do share these feelings with him, fortunately he understands and validates my feelings..


-------------------------
Sometimes your medicine bottle has on it "shake well before using". That what GD has to do with some of His people. He has to shake them well before they are ever usable.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



chocnpeanutbutter
Supporter

Posts: 103
Joined: Sep 2011

11/7/11 1:44 PM
User is offline

hey crazykid, i'm so glad you joined the forum, you're adding so much to it already even though you just joined! I wanted to tell you that at one point I felt things that i was discussing in my addiction post towards my ttoo! And you know what, my pdoc told me this is really great news, it's called transference, you transfer your problems to the t, and that is how you work them out. He said that I MUST tell her about it and discuss it with her in detail if i want to figure out these feelings. Anyway, unfortunately, it was really very minor and went away pretty fast so we never got past the point of me admitting it to her. but if you have it for real it is great - that is the process of therapy, you transfer feelings onto them, and then you can work it out. (AS long as he is reliable to keep the appropriate boundaries like was said before - unfortunately i know from experience what can happen if the adult does not keep the appropriate boundaries. ) good luck


-------------------------
Don't judge me, and I won't judge you.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



crazykid
Senior Supporter

Posts: 248
Joined: Oct 2011

11/7/11 2:36 PM
User is offline

thanks choc, u seem to have gone thru this already. your advice and encouragement is really appreciated....awwww sounds like i'm kinda formal here. tb. I need this support desperately since i have no family members that do this, FS has helped me a great deal......these posts mean everything for me...just keep on postin, thanks loads, love ya...


-------------------------
Sometimes your medicine bottle has on it "shake well before using". That what GD has to do with some of His people. He has to shake them well before they are ever usable.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

View thread in raw text format
FORUMS > Mental Health > Addiction < Refresh >

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.