Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

 Tehilim List  < Refresh >
TOPIC TITLE: looking for support
Created On 4/24/12 10:50 AM
Topic View:

View thread in raw text format


wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

4/24/12 10:50 AM
User is offline

The Eating Disorder section has been kind of dead lately. I was wondering if it's because everyone else is doing exceptionally well.
If that's the case, than I'm happy. I, on the other hand, am really struggling right now and would love to hear from others in similar situations.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



mouse
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1931
Joined: Oct 2007

4/25/12 6:37 PM
User is offline View users profile

I'm struggling. I feel like I should be happy now that things have stabalized financially, but I'm not. I'm using it as an excuse to do the bulimic thing. (I got disability, so the attitude is, "If they think I'm so crazy, I am, and therefore I'm entitled to do what I want to do." Even though binging and stuff isn't what I WANT to do for some reason at times I think it is. I've considered getting help with bulimia, but my therapist knows and isn't doing much about it except keeping tabs on it. So, if she isn't concerned, why should I be??? You mean just because it's my body???? You've got to be kidding me. I hate myself, my body, and everything associated with me. I could keep rambling, but it's pointless.


-------------------------

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

4/26/12 8:21 AM
User is offline

thanks for responding. while I'm sorry to hear about it, at least I know I'm not alone. it's odd that your therapist doesn't do much about it, it could be dangerous. sounds like you've resigned yourself to your fate. I can't see myself going on like this and am really trying hard to get out of it. food drives me insane and I sometimes wish I can burn all the food in the universe.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Ice Cream
Supporter

Posts: 29
Joined: Nov 2011

5/15/12 12:48 PM
User is offline

I'm struggling too. I stuggle with chew/spit and have my great times, and awful times. Support could help
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

5/16/12 9:56 AM
User is offline

thanks for responding. good to see I'm not alone. other than restricting, chew and spit is my biggest struggle lately too. support definitely makes a huge difference and I'm trying hard to reach out. twelve step programs are also helpful.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Ice Cream
Supporter

Posts: 29
Joined: Nov 2011

7/11/12 9:47 PM
User is offline

Could you elaborate on the 12 step program? I'll do ANYTHING to stop....
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

7/11/12 10:04 PM
User is offline

I totally know what you mean by wanting to do ANYTHING to stop. I feel the same way now. It just feels so shameful and sickening to be doing it, especially when I know I'm wasting all that money on food. I have some better weeks and some horrible weeks and I'm trying to believe that I'll be able to quit doing it for good. Twelve step programs such as overeaters anonymouns and/or anorexics/bulimics anonymous can be very helpful. OA has meetings in many areas and you attend as much as you can in the beginning. The people are very warm, supportive and encouraging and are really there for you. there are also loads of phone meetings if that works better for you. You then get a sponsor, and a food plan from either your sponsor, or nutritionist. You call your sponsor every day and commit your food for the next day. You then work the twelve steps with her and use the tools, such as writing, reading, phone calls etc. in place of binging/restricting/purging/chew and spit etc. If you slip, your sponsor helps you work through the triggers to prevent a recurrence. It's worked wonders for many and they swear by it. I, personally have had trouble staying commited. I was too overwhelmed by too many things. I think you sometimes also need to address the underlying issues in order to be able to stay on track. CBT can also be very effective.

Hope that was helpful. G'luck.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Ice Cream
Supporter

Posts: 29
Joined: Nov 2011

7/12/12 8:22 PM
User is offline

Thank you for replying.
Yes I know how crazy it is the amount of money I spend on food that I don't even swallow. The problem is, I'm so embarrassed of my problem, noone even knows about it (not even my DH). So would you know if it's possible to have a sponsor via email only?
Thanks again for the info!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

7/12/12 9:37 PM
User is offline

my husband didn't either know for a long time until I told him. even when I did tell him, I don't think he realized the amount of money that went to waste. Lately, though, I've been struggling financially and got really desperate to stop. He's aware that I do it, but has no idea how much it contributes to the food expenses. It's really anxiety provoking for me. You can definitely have a sponsor through emails. There's also a great pro-recovery website for people with eating disorders where you can share your struggles and find a supportive mentor to guide you through recovery. Here's the link:
http://www.mentorconnect-ed.org/
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

7/12/12 10:43 PM
User is offline

Hey wish I sort of have an eating disorder - binge eating, my previous therapist diagnosed me with it, but it's not that bad that I need the help of the website, but do you know if there is such a site for depression/borderline/cutting etc...?


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

7/12/12 10:57 PM
User is offline

I don't know of any. It would be great if there was, though. How were you doing this week?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



toy123
Senior Supporter

Posts: 834
Joined: Sep 2009

7/12/12 10:59 PM
User is offline

Not the greatest, having A LOT of urges and just wanna give in feel like I can't fight anymore


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

7/12/12 11:06 PM
User is offline

this probably belongs by self injury section but you should be proud of yourself for still not giving in even if you had such a hard time this week. It's been my first week cutting free in a while and I'm allowing myself to become a little more hopeful.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wit!
Junior Supporter

Posts: 5
Joined: Mar 2013

8/8/13 10:51 PM
User is offline

I'm struggling with chew/spit too and at times feel like giving up is the only
Option! Difficult is an understatement. I try my utmost! Make promises every MINUTE of the day, work extremely hard towards my goals... Huuu I'm exhausted. Any hints n tips PLEASE???
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wit!
Junior Supporter

Posts: 5
Joined: Mar 2013

8/8/13 10:57 PM
User is offline

Ice cream and wishtobehappy- is there a way to email/pm on this site?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

8/9/13 10:37 AM
User is offline

Welcome to the forum!

You're right about it being extremely difficult to stop this. I found it to be even harder than to stop binging and purging or restricting. I don't think there any quick fixes. For me it took a lot of therapy and a long time to get out of it, and I've only managed to stop it very recently. Have you seen a nutritionist or therapist? Have you ever tried OA or ABA? Do you find books helpful?

There's a PM feature on this website. If you want I can PM you my email address.

All the best and Hatzlacha!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wit!
Junior Supporter

Posts: 5
Joined: Mar 2013

8/9/13 6:05 PM
User is offline

Thanks so much wishtobehappy! I'm so very happy for you that you were finally able to overcome this! I KNOW it wasn't easy, and probably still is a struggle to an extent. About how long have you been in therapy/recovery for this? I've been restricting too in the past, and find this to be a LOT more difficult! I'm in therapy and saw a nutritionist two years ago, but feel like I'm not ready to follow a plan at the moment. When I engage in c/s I know that calories gets absorbed and so I don't follow my planned meal/s. I wouldn't join OA because I'm not gonna be able to relate to them when their struggle is overeating while mine is the opposite. I have tried EDA or something similar to that, a while back, but it was a total waste of my time. It was anonymous call meetings and all I heard was about how this lady's cat died and what not- I had no patience and it was useless. I read many ED related blogs, articles, stories as well as watch documentaries to gain some insight and to come to realization that I'm not alone in this even though I feel so alone. I'd appreciate to hear which books/documentaries/blogs you guys found helpful. The most difficult time for me is on Shabbos and Y't. I find that keeping myself occupied during the week helps and that I don't have Sh. Anyway, I see I'm rambling... Tia for any advice/support.


Edited: 8/9/13 at 6:08 PM by wit!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

8/9/13 6:58 PM
User is offline

It sounds like you're on the right track. I've been in therapy/recovery for 5-6 years. It's been an uphill struggle and I felt like throwing in the towel many many times.

Many people I met at OA had a history of an eating disorder. I've been to the regular OA meetings, not 90 days, so maybe that was the difference. I've never heard of EDA, but I've tried ABA (anorexics, bulimics). Although, it was helpful, I wasn't either ready to commit at the time. I didn't either like the phone meetings, but in my area there was the option of live meetings.

A friend of mine also referred me to the following website in the past, in case you're interested:
http://www.mentorconnect-ed.org/
They try to pair you up with a suitable mentor who guides you through this. It's very pro-recovery, and there's an active community where you can share your struggles.

I've read loads of books over the years, but can't seem to remember any specific titles at the moment. I usually found some useful information in each, but it was still so very hard to stop. It's an addiction. Twelve steps may therefore come in handy. For me it was easier to work on spirituality in a less structured way. It also took time to work through my emotional baggage. Do you have any diagnosis such as depression, anxiety etc.? Those could complicate it even more.

Also, for me, personally, as long as I was still restricting, it was practically impossible to stop myself from doing it. I think it was partly a physiological reaction. Boredom was also a huge trigger for me, and keeping myself occupied helped a lot. Shabbos and Yom Tov are also the hardest for me and still is. If you can socialize, that helps a lot.

Hatzlacha!

I sent you a PM
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wit!
Junior Supporter

Posts: 5
Joined: Mar 2013

8/10/13 10:00 PM
User is offline

G'v! Your reply was an absolute life saver! I did great this Shabbos, better than I have done in a very long time! Just knowing that there is support out there, gave me hope and courage. I've come a long way in the last 2-3 years, and tasted freedom, but I still have the last hurdle to overcome, which seems nearly impossible.

I'm quite obsessed with my recovery, meaning I'm thinking about it every living moment, and get beaten down every time I fail. I think that having that part of me is mostly helpful, it keeps me going in this seemingly never ending battle, but on the other hand, drains my energy like crazy. I'm wondering if taking it a bit easier would help or hurt. Was it one final step that helped you reach your end goal, or rather an unfolding process?

Thanks, more than I can express.


Edited: 8/10/13 at 10:04 PM by wit!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



wishtobehappy
Senior Supporter

Posts: 836
Joined: Aug 2011

8/10/13 11:04 PM
User is offline

I'm so happy it made a difference. Keep it up!

In my opinion, it's okay to ease off a bit. Beating yourself up over every slip, only makes you feel down and hopeless, which sets a vicious cycle in motion. It's a tough battle. Give yourself credit that you've come this far!

For me it was an unfolding process. It takes time. I didn't see any way out, so I more or less just reached a point of acceptance. Only recently have I finally felt the obsession lifting and realized that I don't even feel the need to do it anymore.

Wishing you all the best on this journey!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

View thread in raw text format
FORUMS > Eating Disorder > Eating Disorder < Refresh >

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.