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TOPIC TITLE: TRICHOTILLOMANIA
Created On 1/7/10 2:18 PM
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FRANCINE
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1/7/10 2:18 PM
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HI! I'M SEVENTEEN, FRUM GIRL SUFFERING FROM TRICH FOR FOUR YEARS NOW.
I'D LOVE TO GET IN CONTACT WITH OTHER SUFFERERS. ANYBODY WITH THIS PRBLOM WANTING TO TALK WITH ME


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TRICH GIRL
 
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channafofanna
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1/9/10 8:49 PM
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hey, im 16- a fellow sufferer - i have trichotilamania/dermatillamania( peeling off my skin)
do u have a therapist? pcychiatrist? they really help, and if you dont do the whoole pcychiatric meds thing, u can try a natrul suplement that a girl i know says works for her, i can get you the name if you want.
also what works- star charts, sticke charts! even for stupid prizes
 
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FRANCINE
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1/12/10 10:41 AM
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THANKS! I'D LOVE TO GET ANYTHING THAT WOULD HELP ME DEAL WITH TRICH . I WONDER IF ANYONE WOULD KNOW IF THERE IS A SUPPORT GROUP FOR FRUM TRICHSTERS; I WISH I COULD TALK TO SOMEBODY ABOUT THIS BECAUSE MY FATHER DOESN'T THINK TRICH IS A PROBLEM. TRUTH IS, I DO COVER IT UP WELL. SO HE WON'T LET ME GO TO A THERAPIST. AND AS FOR MY MOM, WELL I'M TOO AFRAID OF ADMITTING THAT I PULL MY HAIR.
SO THERES NO THERAPY AND I'M REALLY STRUGGLING. I WISH THERE WERE SUCH A GROUP OUT THERE FOR FRUM GIRLS. THERE ARE MANY GOYISHE SUPPORT GROUPS ,ONLINE OR LIVE,BUT WHY ISN'T THERE ANYTHING FOR US.... I FIND TLC.ORG VERY INFORMATIVE AND CHRISTINA PEARSON IS VERY NICE. BUT I WOULDN'T JOIN A GOYISHE GROUPS. MY EMAIL IS FRUMTRICH@GMAIL.COM IF YOU WANT TO EMAIL ME. I CAN USE ANY KIND OF ADVICE REGARDING TRICH! THANKS!


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TRICH GIRL
 
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channafofanna
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1/16/10 11:34 PM
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ok, ill get the name for you.
if you want you can send private messages on this site (just press the lock of the person you want to message right next to the lightbulb on the right of this (or any) message)(instead of giving out your email- but i dont really think thats ur reall email...)
i know its scarry, but i really think you should either tell your mom or talk with your father (wow , who knew somthing like that would come from my mouth!- but it is the right thing to do)
support groups can be great, even frum ones but they cant really help you 100%, i think of them as a snack to tide my over till lunch (my T) or just to get some help- i dont kow how to say this cuz really support groups r great (espescialy this one) but you need therapy, meds, atention or wtvr.
as for what you should say to ur dad- tell him you cant stop on your own, make sure he understands that trich. isnt just pulling hair- its your way of copping with to much stress- and you need help with that. tell him cally when hes in a good mood. he just dosent know exactly what your going throuhg -so you have to help him get a little idea of it (cuz of course he cant totaly understand)
sorry if this didnt help!
ps- c all the other Trich posts and i think i saw s/t in hair losss...
hang in there!
 
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channafofanna
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1/16/10 11:37 PM
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or try talking to a teacher, rabbi, responsible adult , so they can tell your parents. at last resort, maybe tell a friend- but she might not want to tell b/c sheell probably try to help you on her own, so u should tell her to tell someone older, and you can even tell her who , or how etc. (the best time for theese kinda talks with ur friends is at sleepovers)
 
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frayde
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1/17/10 5:32 PM
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francine- i dont want this to come out the wrong way, but for your sake u need to get yourself help! asap! its not fair to let yourself suffer like this. though i havent dealt w trich personally, i have dealt w many other things and i can say from experience that god created therpaists, doctors, meds, hospitals and the like for us TO MAKE USE OF! i totally understand that ur parents are either in denial, or dont understand... but u need to bring it to their attention. u cant go on like this without any help. its just not fair to u. u deserve to be helped. i have many connections in the mental health and would be glad to offer advice on therapists and doctors, so let me know.
BUT U GOTTA TAKE CARE OF THIS ASAP!


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Don't ask for a light load, but rather for a strong back...
 
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channafofanna
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1/17/10 8:15 PM
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yeah, francine, listen to what fraydle said- it came out a lot better when she said it
 
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channafofanna
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1/17/10 8:19 PM
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fradye - sorry- dyslexia
 
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FRANCINE
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1/20/10 10:23 AM
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HI! I FOUND THIS THING ON TRICHISLAND.COM. I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY FUNNY. I'VE ALWAYS LOVED DR.SUESS' GREEN EGGS AND HAM AND THIS IS IT, JUST WITH A TRICH TWIST.
ENJOY!

Once upon a dreary day
With nothing to do and nothing to say
Nothing to watch and nothing to eat
I sit and stare at my propped-up feet.
I do not want to watch T.V.
I do not want to climb a tree
I do not want green eggs and ham
How blatheringly, blitheringly bored I am!

Then suddenly came a knock, knock, knock
Which forced me towards the door to walk
And open it up to the startling sight
Of a Cat in a Hat striped red and white.

He bounded in, flopped down in my chair
As if he quite belonged there
And asked with a wondering, credulous air,
"If you're so bored, why not pull out your hair?"

I know not from whence he came, or why
But I thought that that I ought to make some reply.
"Why," I said "would I want to do that?"
"Because you can," said the clever Cat.

"It passes the time when you're all alone
Gives your hands a task when you're on the phone
Calms you when you're feeling stressed
You just need to be de-tressed
You can pull while riding in your car
Pull in places near and far
Pull in Springfield or Siam
Or while you eat green eggs and ham."

"And most of all, what this game is about -
You've just GOT to get the bad ones out."

"Look, you've got one over here,
That's sticking up all crooked and queer."
The feline said, "It really must go."
And he yanked it right out before I could say no.

He held it up to the light for me to see
Proud of himself as he could be
Didn't hurt as much as I thought it would
As a matter of fact, it kind of felt...good.

"Here's another," he pointed, "All frizzy and fried,
And this eyebrow hair sticks way out to the side
And this eyelash is not quite in line with the rest
To pull them out now would really be best."

I yanked, pulled, plucked, and those hairs were soon gone
But we quickly found more, and so we kept on
I didn't know that two hours had passed
Till I looked in the mirror and froze there, aghast.

My eyebrows were now all patchy and bare
My lashes - maybe twelve were still there
And on top of my head, a three-inch spot
Where once there was hair, but now there was not.

In horror and anguish I let out a shriek,
"I look like a circus sideshow freak!
To grow back will take it six months and a day!"
The Cat just replied, "At the least, I should say."

He pulled out from his hat, some paint for my eyes,
For my brows, "This pencil will help you disguise."
"But my hair is a fright," I said, "What about that?!?"
He pondered and puzzled, " - Of course!" said the Cat.
He reached up and taking the hat from his head
Placed it squarely on top of my own instead.
Allaying concern for his now-hatless dome,
"No need for thanks, I have twelve more at home."

"Well, I really must go, but wasn't this fun?
Now make sure you pull out every last little one!"
With a wink and a wave he turned towards the door
"Cat!" I called out, "Why'd you do this? What for?"

Befuddled, he turned, "Why, it's simple my dear.
Just think of your boredom before I was here.
Where once was ennui, now there's self-loathing
Hiding your bald spots with makeup and clothing
Trying to swim and not get your hair wet
Thinking up lies for the questions you'll get
You should not look at this habit all wrong
You now have a fine hobby to last your life long."

In a blink he was gone as quick as he came
Leaving me trapped in this fixating game
Pulling and fighting and pulling some more
My hair and my pride left all over the floor.

So if someday you say to yourself, "What a bore."
And that Cat in the Hat should show up at your door
Take my advice and heed what I've said
Shut the door in his face - take up ping-pong instead.



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TRICH GIRL
 
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FRANCINE
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1/20/10 12:24 PM
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Shabbos and Trichotillomania- You’re under Arrest!

Pulling my hair feels awful, out of control. Like I’m riding on a bike downhill and I’m missing the brakes. You want stop, but you can’t.
Nothing makes me feel worse than pulling on Shabbos. There’s so much self-hatred and loathing; feeling like the worst mechalel Shabbos. I’m always thinking how many times I’m chayev meesa. Probably a thousand times. Pulling is forbidden. And I can’t stop. I just can’t.
I can easily say that for me, Shabbos is my worst trigger day. Shabbos is beautiful, but stressful too. Our meals don’t exactly look like the ones in Artscroll books; there will always be something that will upset me and give me feelings which I would much rather avoid -and it’s inevitable that an impulse(or two or three or 100) will soon be on its way. Since Friday night is the day I read the most (think the whole deal- Mishpacha, Binah, Hamodia), I have the most unconscious pulling. Sometimes while I’m engrossed in an article subconsciously I realize that my hand is in my hair and I want to stop but I can’t because I’m in this ridiculous trance where I have absolutely no control.
And its even worse that I’m locked into the bathroom reading (because Tatty is King of the couch and there’s no place for me.) So the bathroom makes a great living room, where no-one will interrupt my pulling.
I was handcuffed this Shabbos. It felt weird wearing my brother’s pair of handcuffs and my family thought I was nuts. I sure was a sight to behold. Nice Jewish girl arrested on account of….? It was a nice diversion from wearing scratchy wool gloves.
I can’t say it was particularly comfortable, but I wore it all through reading (unlike the gloves which I tend to slip off when the urge gets too strong.) The only time I pulled was when I took the handcuffs off to wash my hand and I found three hairs on the counter.
It was disappointing that I did pull, but a long way from last week’s 25. Hopefully I’ll be more on the alert next Shabbos when I’m taking off the cuffs.





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TRICH GIRL
 
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littleengine
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1/21/10 2:55 AM
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Francine, Thank you so much for sharing that poem from Dr. Suess with us. I think its great that you appreciate humor even within a very challenging situation. I enjoyed reading it.

Re Trich, I don't remember where I read this, but I know somebody posted something somewhere on this website, about a technique that they used to develop an alternative behavior to hair pulling: pulling the 'hair' on a toy keychain.

I just wanted to say that I always have a squeezy toy available to play with and it really helps me refrain from twisting my hair (I don't pull out my hair, just play with it- twisting it lightly, except when I'm feeling upset or in pain at which time I am not as gentle with it, and often end up almost tying knots in it). Squeezing a stress ball or twisting drawstrings helps keep my hand busy while I am writing or working at the computer (that is when I used to twist my hair absentmindedly). It also gives me something on which to let out my intense feelings when I am feeling anxious/angry/frustrated or in pain. When feeling intense, I often make holes in my stress balls or pull the rubbery strings or hairs out of the top of them, basicaly destroying them. I never really considered my hair twisting an OCD behavior, though its possible that it is; my Dr said that what I have is on the spectrum of habit disorders. I'm thankful that I never actually damaged my hair because of it. And it is basicaly under control.

I can relate to feeling frustratedand helpless and self loathing on shabbosim when I knew that I was probably pulling out a few stray hairs (that happens even when just playing with/twisting hair). I can't completely understand your feelings, though, because my hair twisting was never really bad. But I wish I could tell you something that would help you feel better about yourself, since what you are doing is not in your control right now, even if there are alternative behaviors that can be learned. I hope you can find a teacher/rav/therapist who can help you deal with your feelings about being 'mechalel shabbos'. There are also some people on this site who may have some insight about trich and shabbos.

And please remember that there are medications and other treatments that can help alot, and talking to a therapist is the first step. Is there any way for you to talk to someone who can help you talk to your parents or who can talk to your parents for you, about getting treatment for your trich?
 
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channafofanna
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1/21/10 12:12 PM
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Francine- thanks so much!!!! i LOVE DR. Suess
" feeling like the worst mechalel Shabbos. I’m always thinking how many times I’m chayev meesa. Probably a thousand times. Pulling is forbidden. And I can’t stop. I just can’t "
does god (sorry if the lower case g and the o not a dash btohers anyone )expect you to do somthing unrealistic? a rabbi once told me as long as your in "remission" and work on trying to get better- it isnt bad cuz your doing the most you can (and you ALSO have to take small steps! )
"Shabbos is my worst trigger day."- me 2. my shabbos mealls dont even look like a reform book on shabboss's shabos meals. (you think thats why we are the ones whit mental health isssues, because our upbringing ? or our lack of spirituality on shabos??? thats what i always think
and yeah, i also read the whole shabang on friday night (but in adition to those i get stuck with the yated, and we sometimes get the jewish press for free- dont ask why)
I have the most unconscious pulling - your lucky you do it unconsiouscly ( btw- what helped me once was putting tape (the medical kind on my holes (thats one place where i peeled of my skin.) or put conceler on them so i wouldnt wana get my hair ful of it by smuudging it. also , so i dont peel off my skin on my hands, i put bandaids on my fingers, and sometimes that stops me from pulling (and its a lot easier to say - my mother will gie me 5 dolars if i stop biting my nails then trying to explaing why im wearing gloves.)
- ooh, and the bathrooms my fav. place to!!!( but i think i do alot worse than pulling in there - and i leave the door ajar so no one thinks im in there
It was disappointing that I did pull, but a long way from last week’s 25. Hopefully I’ll be more on the alert next Shabbos when I’m taking off the cuffs.
good job!!!!!

 
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channafofanna
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1/21/10 12:30 PM
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little engine- try silly putty!!!
francine- you still have to tell somone- even if people here are helping you
 
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channafofanna
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2/26/10 3:50 PM
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i just discovered, its VERY hard to pick and pull when your hairs in a french braid, and its hard to pull when its in a normal braid- just incase that will help someone
 
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FRANCINE
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2/28/10 10:52 PM
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Hi its been a long time but I don't really have internet anymore so I don't get to log onto this site anymore. The weeks after I posted last I pulled like this; 1, 1, 0, 0 , 10 ,countless, and this shabbos. Ipulled 34 . The past few weeks I have been under tremendous stress so I guess that's why it happened.


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TRICH GIRL
 
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FRANCINE
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6/11/10 5:51 PM
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HI! ITS BEEN A REALLY LONG WHILE BUT I THOUGHT I'D LET YOU KNOW I AM GOING TO A THERAPIST. LAST WEEK I PULLED JUST TWO. I DON'T THINK THAT THERAPISTS REALLY KNOW WHAT TRICH IS ALL ABOUT BUT THEY CAN DEFINATELY HELP WITH OTHER STUFF....


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TRICH GIRL
 
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littleengine
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6/24/10 12:02 AM
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That's great that you are going to a therapist! How is it going?
 
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chanabanana12
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8/1/12 11:23 PM
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Francine is there a way that i couldget in touch with you by email or somehow through this site? I am a frum 15 year old girl with trich and in search of other frum trichsters to get in touch with.
 
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trichgirl
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8/7/12 8:12 PM
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Sure. Id love to help you out. My name changed. Its frumtrich@gmail or I would prefer if u went through this site. Send me a private message by clicking on the lock sign to the right. Ur name is a bit like channafonas. Relative or plagiarism? Lol.
 
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Fishy face
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8/17/12 12:47 AM
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THIS IS AMAZING!! Would any of you be interested in forming some sort of frum trich support group? I live in New York, and I've always thought that would be so amazing. The regular support groups are helpful, but there is something missing.....


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"It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." - Eleanor Roosevelt
 
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Cake12310
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8/19/12 2:27 AM
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Hey everyone!!! This is soo amazing!!! I would love to get a group together in NY or something... let me know if you're interested!!

Also- i bet you we are all connected somehow, given a little Jewish Geographyyyy

Kol Tuv

Cake
 
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trichgirl
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8/19/12 9:36 PM
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Chanabanab12 - sorry; did offend I u? I hope not. I very much would like to help u, especially since I myself suffered greatly from trich and found solace and relief from feeling like people understand me and from research. Try trich.org-i think its the best website for this. Try it. It might do u a world of good. All the best.
 
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Fishy face
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8/20/12 2:28 AM
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Cake, We have you and me so far, anyone else in the New Yorkish area?


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"It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." - Eleanor Roosevelt
 
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channafofanna
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8/29/12 1:13 PM
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how 'bout plagerism....
but coppying is the highest form of flattery (can you tell im the youngest girl in my family- an oldest would NEVER SAY THAT!!!)
Welcome aboard Chanabanab1!!!
 
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