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TOPIC TITLE: Is Anybody There?!?!
Created On 1/16/13 8:11 PM
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RockinLife
Junior Supporter

Posts: 9
Joined: Jan 2013

1/16/13 8:11 PM
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I sit upon the shore of a raging ocean, lost in thought. It's rarely ever that I allow myself to leave the hectic confines of my home, yet I felt an overwhelming need to escape tonight. I observe the roaring waves, rolling one over the next; my eyes roam over the huge expanse, thousands upon millions of grains of sand on shore; I follow a small ship as it makes its way across the vast sea. This panorama brings tears to my eyes. How lost and alone I feel out here! How small and trivial I seem to be, in accordance to the Master Plan that is running this world!
I allow my mind to wander into the events bringing me here on this day. Just thinking about the events of the past year makes me feel stressed! It seems like just minutes ago that I was an innocent and happy teenager, ready for fun, and always looking for action. And now…what am I? I cannot call myself a teenager, though I am only 18. I cannot consider myself a woman of 50, though I know that the challenges I face are one that many people that age will never struggle with. The only thing I can consider myself at this point, is a special, special neshama….one that Hashem loves, and has entrusted with a special task in this world.
I look up at the sun, slowly sinking into the horizon. The sky is filled with bright hues, colors of all kinds merge into a majestic view. The scene is beautiful, but my eyes are glued to the fiery ball of red, in the center of it all. This scorching ball of flames has the power to kill, the power to damage… just a few miles closer to Earth, and it can destroy the world in a moment. And yet… look at the view! Look at the splendid sight it creates instead!
Hashem gave this simple creation such power… to destroy and to produce. To block our vision, and to provide us with vision. Doesn't this mean we are provided with this power too?
My life has been turned upside down in just a matter of a few months… and it will take me years just to try and stand up again from this fall I have taken. It seems like my rollercoaster of life broke down just as it reached the bottom side of the hoop, and I hang upside down, afraid for the moment I will fall. But I know I will not fall. I cannot fall. For the One controlling the coaster is Hashem, He has the power to help me see the assistance that will soon come my way.
Each and every day, I am puzzled anew- how can I function, just suffering so? This overwhelming aching in my heart prevents me from leading a normal day. It confines me, traps me in a self-made prison cell, ensnaring me in its messy web of grief. But I must…I must move on!!!
The sun is slowly sinking… the skie is getting darker and darker as time passes on by. I envision myself as a fiery sun, powerful and influential. How should I use my powers…to kill or influence? To assist or destroy? I have it within me- how will I use my capabilities? What will I show the world? My strength or failure?
With a new resolution, I follow the footprints in the direction of home, hesitant to form a new path of my own, but thankful to have the footsteps of my Forefathers to guide me to where I belong.



Edited: 1/16/13 at 8:12 PM by RockinLife
 
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channafofanna
Senior Supporter

Posts: 1352
Joined: Jul 2009

3/28/13 10:36 PM
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Wow! Shkoyach! greaT!! THIS HAS SO MUCH HEART!
 
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