Login
Questions or Comments!
admin@frumsupport.com

Get FrumSupport News! Join our mailing list.
Email:


Search

Navigation:

 Tehilim List  < Refresh >
TOPIC TITLE: telling my parents
Created On 7/12/05 7:21 PM
Topic View:

View thread in raw text format


tikva
Junior Supporter

Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2005

7/12/05 7:21 PM
User is offline

My parents are elderly holocaust survivors with no family. I am an only daughter. My mother is having a hard time dealing with my father having beginning alzheimers, and the fact that even though most of my children are B"H married, I still have 2 daughters in their late 20's who aren't. I became ill with an incurable disease a year ago. For a long time we were able to say that it was nothing and would get better. But as I am getting noticeably worse, it is becoming impossible to hide the condition. How do I give my parents this news without having them fall apart completely? I am truly afraid my mother would have a heart attack if we told her. I am just frantic trying to think of how to deal with this. Does anyone have advice? thank you.
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



Torsalicious613
Senior Supporter

Posts: 461
Joined: Mar 2005

11/20/05 7:20 PM
User is offline

i sypathize with you. i am sorry you have a terminal illness. just keep moving on, be strong, and try to be happy. take each day as it comes, and try to make the most out of the time you have left. i'm not a rebbe, but it's not how long you have, it's the quality of the time you have and what you make of it. i wouldn't tell your parents if i were you. they'd probably be happier knowing you kept something very painful from them than slapping it in the face with it. like i said, it's the quality, not the amount of time, that matters. your parents will not live for ever and niether will you, nor any of us. but the important thing is to be happy as much as you possibly can and spread happiness as much as you can, as long as you're alive. that's what matters, and if you go before your parents do, they will understand this and be happy for you that you were able to live in peace and happiness til your last dying day. i know this sounds morbid, but it's true. in fact it's actually the opposite of morbid. it's great. no one has to be sad! just realize if you stay happy, everything will be okay. we all die. who cares? carpe diem! and if your parents die before you, you will be happy knowing you kept this painful information from them. this is my opinion, and in my opinion, everybody wins.

atara


-------------------------
what the hecka is a signiature?
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



rina miriam
Junior Supporter

Posts: 17
Joined: Feb 2006

2/23/06 7:57 AM
User is offline


Of course it's important to stay happy and positive, but, I don't think that's all in life.
"Adam l'amal yulad"
I think you shoul discuss it with s\o else who knows your parents well, maybe a more objective relative or somebody.

The thing is that many times us children like to "protct" our parents from pain, but, like a spouse, parents rsrely like to be "locked out".

Unless there really is fear of ahealth issue I wouldn't be so quick to hide it from them.
They may be much more shattered if Lo Aleynu you suddenly leave them with no for warning.

Like I said, discuss it with somebody who really knows the situation- not your husband or children who are to subjective- and see what they have to say.

May Hashem grant you Arichs yamim v'shanim!

Refu'ah Shlemah!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     



RoNbOnBoO13
Supporter

Posts: 39
Joined: Dec 2006

12/17/06 8:51 PM
User is offline View users profile

i used to work in a nursing home on the alzheimers unit. we had a resident one day find out that his wife died. she had dies like 6 years before but he didntk now because of the disease. he went crazy and started attacking every1, and crying and screaming and throwing things, and then tried to kill himeself to be with her. im not saying dont tell ur parents, i tell my mom and dad everything, but becareful how u do it. i like to butter my mom up by taking her out to lunch and then while we are there talking to her. ive told her thru that, that i cant have children and i am only 20 so she freaked out but not to bad. i told her that i might have cancer and she took it well, well as best any1 could in that situation, and when i wanted to make aliyah thats how i told her. every1 is different its just a suggestion. hope everything works out and i hope u r not in any pain!!!


-------------------------
JAMIE UR AWSOME! TIFFANY U R 1 BRAVE FREAK! GET BACK HER MY BABY MISSES HIS MOMMY! I LOVE U BOTH!!!
 
Reply
   
Quote
   
Top
   
Bottom
     

View thread in raw text format
FORUMS > Other > General < Refresh >

Navigation:

The information in this site is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. FrumSupport disclaims any liability for the decisions you, the User, makes based on information on this site. By using this site, reading, viewing, posting or otherwise, you signify your assent to the Terms and Conditions of Use. If you do not agree to all these Terms and Conditions of Use, please do not use this site. FrumSupport may revise and update these Terms and Conditions of Use at anytime. Your continued usage of FrumSupport will mean you accept those changes.

If you think you or someone you know has a medical emergency, call your doctor, Hatzolah or 911 immediately. FrumSupport cannot and does not monitor forums and postings and cannot and will not pro-actively obtain help for users in need as FrumSupport does not have the funds or people power to accomplish such tasks and it will infringe on the anonymity of each user. Therefore, FrumSupport’s liability is limited by this paragraph and as further set forth in the Terms and Conditions of Use.