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TOPIC TITLE: A baby now?
Created On 1/30/06 9:27 AM
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Bereshit
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Posts: 1
Joined: Jan 2006

1/30/06 9:27 AM
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I hope you can give me some advice since I don't know what to do at present!

Bezrat HaShem I will finish my studies in january next year, and of course I want children as soon as possible. We got a psak because of my husband's studies, but this is ending now. The problem is that I want a child so much, but how can I fnish my studies then? If I will be pregnant now I don't know how I can manage my oral exams in january. And in case my husband needs time off to study or doesn't have enough jobs (he is a freelancer), it is important I have a degree in order to get a better job. Does anyone here have experience with this situation? Is it possible to have a small baby at home and still finish university? I really need your help!! Thank you so much,
Bereshit
 
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rina miriam
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2/23/06 7:22 AM
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It is possible-but, it can be hard.
It means orginizing a schduale for yourself and it dpends how much energy you have after birth. It is deffinitly doable!
And remember...
There's nine months between getting pregnant and giving birth. (assuming you get pregnant right away)

Behatzlacha!
 
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motherof2
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2/26/06 9:44 AM
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the gift of motherhood is amazing. It is definitly a challenge to be in school and to raise a family. I am currently working 20 hrs a week, going for my masters and the mother of two. It is a matter of balancing all of your responsibilities and setting a list of priorities.
Hatzlacha in your decision.
 
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Chaya Surie
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Joined: Jan 2005

5/10/06 12:17 PM
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You can't be sure that nine months of pregnancy will go smoothly. If you are sick and nauseous the whole time, you may have trouble finishing school, and it would be just awful if you started to resent your pregnancy. Some women have no trouble with this and some do. Pregnancy is like opening a box of chocolates, you don't know what kind of pregnancy you will have. The same is true when it comes to caring for an infant. With that in mind, how about going back to your rav and discussing this with him, maybe you can extend your heter a little longer. I know at least one woman who got a heter to use bcp for 3 years until she could finish college. But since every Posek is different, you may not get the same heter. So prepare for other options - Call your university and find out if you will have the option of withdrawing and taking a one or two-semester break if things get to hard for you to handle.
 
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imma123
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6/14/06 11:09 AM
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Hi
just wanted to tell you that sometimes the best things in life happens without planning. like having a baby, Yes i understand your situation about finding the right time to have a baby, But if you think about it , there will never be the right time, now you are in school so is your husband , next you will be looking for a job, so will your husband, next you will be too busy working, you may not have enough money to save up for a baby, There will always be some exuse as to why now it is not the right time.
dont break your head with too many thoughts and plans , be natuaral go with the flow, dont plan and let hashem do the work for you. Bringing children to this world is a wonderful gift, it will bring you luck and happiness in your life. No matter how busy you think you are hashem will help you and everything will work out the way it is supposed to be.
also think about it , its better to bring children to your life while you are young, you will have more patients for them , have an easier time raising them, and when you marry them off you will still be young and beable to enjoy the rest of your life with your husband and be young grandparents to your kids.
this is just my opinion and my expierience bieng a young mother of 5 wonderful amazing kids
I am in my late 30 and am getting ready to marry off my first son within 2 or 3 years , cant wait to be a grandmother and play with my grandkids and then hand them over to thier parents to raise while i will enjoy my newly freedom while i am still young...lol
 
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