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TOPIC TITLE: Switching therapists
Created On 9/10/13 9:20 PM
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toy123
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9/10/13 9:20 PM
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I have to switch therapists in my clinic after being two years with my therapist. I don't have a choice in the matter. I'm considered high risk and they want me to see a therapist twice a week and my current therapist can't do it. How am I supposed to be able to switch therapists? I've disclosed stuff i have never told anyone because I felt comfortable with her. Embarrassing stuff and now I have to go and start trusting another therapist and hopefully just be comfortable enough to discuss these issues. I start right after succos with her. I only have two more sessions with my current therapist and I'm freaking out. I feel abandoned and unwanted and just a pain in the ass... (even here on this site I feel like all I do is cause trouble).... How in the world will I ever be able to do the switch??????????????


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Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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keep climbing
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9/11/13 5:22 AM
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(((HUGS)))
That is really tough, Toy.
We're here for you.
 
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ij8575
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9/11/13 8:28 AM
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So sorry you are going through this.

What, by the way, does high risk mean?


 
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gad
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9/11/13 9:28 AM
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i guess it's basically a matter of hearing what the new therapist says, and then you can decide if you feel that you can gain from it.
 
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toy123
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9/11/13 10:24 AM
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ij8575 Dr. Lynn would be able to answer your question better but high risk is basically meaning more at risk for self harm and suicide attempts....


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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HopefulMommy
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9/11/13 12:25 PM
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That's really tough, Toy! Hatzlacha! (((Hugs)))
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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9/11/13 2:43 PM
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Toy-
Is it possible to speak with the clinic director and explain you are MORE at risk by changing than staying 1x/week?
a lynn
 
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toy123
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9/24/13 2:10 AM
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I guess I'll post my post here since it's regarding this issue and Dr Lynn can you please give your input? So I basically came to terms with the fact that I'm switching therapists... I had a session with my therapist two Tuesdays before yom tov. We're still supposed to have one final "goodbye" session.She didn't know when so she said she would call me. It was either Teusday before yom tov, chol hamoed, or this coming Sunday a day before I see my new therapist. She didn't call me. Tuesday before yom tov I had to leave her a very important message and her extension was broken so I told my mother to call her on her cell (only she has the number) and relate the message to her and also ask her to call me. She called me two hours later and said I can see you today but I don't think it's such a good idea either chol hamoed or Sunday. It stayed that she will call me. She still hasn't called me even after I left her a message that I wanna know when we're meeting cuz I wanna make my plans... I feel so rejected by her. Is this normal??? First of all she promised me another session. I have a small gift and card that I want to give her. And now I'm scared that she won't keep her word. I feel so rejected that she didn't call. Am I over reacting? Is this just my borderline talking?


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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toy123
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9/29/13 8:33 PM
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So I had my last session with my therapist today. I start with my new therapist tomorrow. The session was really tough. I just couldn't say good-bye. Although I think I came out feeling very strong cuz she told me all about my positives that I don't believe about myself. She said she spoke to my new therapist in depth so I hope it'll make things easier for me. Any ideas how to start off the session tomorrow. I'm so scared I'll end up shutting down.... I'm so torn cuz I'm still so attached to my old therapist.... I'm confused!!!!!!!!!!


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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TBear
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9/29/13 10:00 PM
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Of course you are confused!!!

Oy - the loss of your old therapist and the beginning of a new one. It would be odd to be able to just switch like that without feeling the loss and being in a bit of turmoil!

To be noted is how caring your old therapist has been to talk to the new one ahead of time and to be so supportive of you - her care and concern for you shows how much she values you - hold on to that feeling and take it in with you to the appointment tomorrow... Just be yourself and let the new therapist help you to be more comfortable - it won't be easy - but hopefully the transition will be supported by communication and you will have the extra support of twice a week to help.

All the best!
 
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alharro
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9/30/13 1:00 PM
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it sometimes helps to get a new perspective .... sometimes you get stuck in a rut ............ look at it as a chance to regroup & refresh
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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10/3/13 3:19 PM
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Toy,
I did not see your posts until now, and I am not sure if my reactions are still relevant. One thing I wanted to say, though, is that it is "normal" to feel disappointment when people we rely on fall short. I think trust is one of the hardest thing in relationships. How did your meeting with your new therapist go?
a lynn
 
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toy123
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10/3/13 4:25 PM
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So first of all I kept telling myself that it's my borderline talking about my therapist and the minute she called me all those feelings disappeared. It's working out really well with my new therapist bh. I opened up to her about a very intimate and personal subject on the second session. She doesn't know me yet but was briefed extensively about.me especially about this issue. I took the risk of opening up and it was worth it but do u think it was smart of me? Because I have no friends (yes I know a therapist isn't a friend) I do have a tendancy of sharing my problems very early in a relationship thinking that way we can create a connection. I don't know of other ways to make friends. It usually ends up backfiring but I haven't learnt my lesson yet....


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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I'mTrying
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10/3/13 10:28 PM
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I think it's wonderful that is going so well with your therapist and opening up so soon is a good sign (IMHO)
And it's true, she is not a friend, but that just makes things much less complicated- it's ok to share your intimate thoughts and issues with a therapist .
I wish you continued trust !
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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10/17/13 11:31 AM
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Toy,
I completely agree with Trying. I am happy the new therapist is working out, and would distinguish between opening up deeply and quickly with a therapist vs. a new social friend. Civilians are more likely to feel it is too much too soon and feel overwhelmed and unprepared. Hatzlacha!
a lynn
 
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frumsw
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10/24/13 2:25 PM
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I'm glad things are working out with your new therapist....I think your feelings were totally normal, not even so borderline. Disclosing early in a therapeutic relationship is fine as long as you don't feel bad about it and then clam up afterwards!


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frumsw
 
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TBear
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10/29/13 8:35 PM
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Toy~

Was thinking about you - how is the new therapist going?

When does a therapist quit being called a new therapist after a switch... It actually took almost three years to make the change in my speech from saying "new" therapist to "present" therapist.... and the last one is the "old" therapist.... I guess that means I have finally accepted the change -

so I guess my question to you Toy - is how are you feeling about the change since you have had some time to "sit" with it?

Hope you are doing well.....
 
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toy123
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10/29/13 9:00 PM
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I'm fine with her. She has a very different style than my other one. Problem I'm having now is that I'm angry at her and the anger is not subsiding......


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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