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TOPIC TITLE: Bad habit
Created On 10/3/13 6:31 PM
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Cutiestarr
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10/3/13 6:31 PM
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I have a bad habit of speaking badly about myself. Someone recently pointed this out to me. How can I work on this?
 
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I'mTrying
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10/3/13 10:31 PM
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By working on your inner conversation...
Speaking gently to yourself, eliminating judgments about yourself
It's hard, very hard work. But worth it. And that will affect the way you relate to others, and help you have more confidence. Inside and outside.
You can do it!
 
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mentch
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10/4/13 2:33 PM
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Try saying the statement from Hillel three times a day after dovening
If I am not for myself who is for me if I am only for myself who am I and if not now when
If you understand lashon kodesh you should say it in lashon kosesh
Good luck
Ben


-------------------------
Mentch
 
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Cutiestarr
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10/4/13 3:19 PM
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I appreciate your advice. However, I think you are misreading the intent of my post. This was not to ask how I fix low self-esteem; this was to ask how I stop a bad habit of saying negative things about myself casually in conversation.
 
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mentch
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10/5/13 9:00 PM
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You can think of your words as a self actualization Giving yourself complements helps you focus on your good qualities and bring them out. ( This is mekubal from Rebbe Nachman, a grandson of Baal Shem Tov) Try standing in front of a mirror and giving your self a complement and enjoy it!
Take care
BD


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Mentch
 
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mentch
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10/5/13 9:08 PM
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Sorry I just wanted to add
That I heard a piece of advice in the name of Rav Avigdor Miller to be in the habit of saying I love you Hashem through the day
Good Luck
BD


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Mentch
 
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Holding on
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10/14/13 8:54 PM
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often, ppl speak negatively abt themselves (or make negative comments...) bec that is most likely how they are feeling abt themselves. Or judging themselves.
I shld know - when I was in therapy, once she pointed it out and was trying to get me to be aware of my negative self talk and was trying to get me to stop - every time I made a negative comment she wld stop me and ask me, "are you judging yourself now?" or she wld challenge the comment... It came to a point that I just had to laugh at myself (a sad laugh tho) bec even tho I knew she wld challenge my negative self talk, I cldnt seem to not say it.
It was at a time that I was feeling really rotten about myself.
B"H in a much better place now...
tc
 
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toy123
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10/14/13 9:07 PM
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Welcome back Holding on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


-------------------------
Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Sometimes when I say "I'm okay", I want someone to look me in the eyes, hug me tight and say "I know you are not".

Just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm happy.
 
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Holding on
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10/15/13 10:17 AM
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, hey!
 
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Cutiestarr
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10/15/13 10:59 AM
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Everyone here has such good advice. I feel better now
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
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10/17/13 11:56 AM
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Cutie,
I especially agree with Holding and use similar techniques with my clients. Often, our speech patterns become habitual, so the key is AWARENESS. Perhaps people in your life can also help you increase awareness of when you use negative speech about yourself. I'Y'H you will also see the patterns/themes more clearly and then you will be able to "fix" the underlying problem. Hatzlacha!
a lynn
 
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FORUMS > Mental Health > Ask Dr. Lynn < Refresh >

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