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TOPIC TITLE: Nightmares
Created On 10/10/12 11:46 PM
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mouse
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10/10/12 11:46 PM
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I keep getting nightmares regarding my abuse. It had stopped for many yrs but reoccured when I was inpatient and the psychiatrist basically insisted I tell who did the abuse. I, for many reasons, am protecting the abuser and went into a flashback. She then started yelling at me and I switched personalites. (I'm DID too) Now the nightmares won't go away. Want to yell at the psychiatrist for what she did. I'm so confused. I know what started the flashbacks but don't know how to end them.


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All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty together again.
 
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HopefulMommy
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10/11/12 4:11 PM
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Munkster, you need to release the trauma. It's sitting in your body and running your life right now. I know it's painful. Excruciatingly painful. But that's the only way to get past it.

I've had nightmares. I had a traumatic experience. To make a long story short, I felt responsible for somebody's death. It took many years till I was able to tell the whole story to a therapist, but it was so liberating. I literally felt the trauma leaving my body. I was all shaking and really physically uncomfortable when I was telling the story, but afterwards, my whole body felt so much lighter. I felt like a huge weight was taken off my shoulders. And then, after some time, I was able to analyze the past experience from a more rational point of view, and realized that it wasn't my fault. It was not my responsibility to take care of that person in the first place, and the adult who should have taken responsibility ended up shifting it on me, due to his own issues. I wasn't old enough to be dealing with that whole situation in the first place. Some more years later, as I kept processing that experience, I found out that according to halacha, I didn't do anything wrong. It was painful to keep going back there, but the results were well worth it.

Your story is worse, I'm sure, if it's painful enough to trigger dissociation. It's a defense mechanism your mind/body uses to block the pain. But you need to let it out, slowly, in baby steps, in amounts that you can handle. And you need a supportive environment for that. There are programs for PTSD that are full time, where you get the time and the space to focus on this process of releasing trauma, without being distracted by anything else in life, so that you don't feel that you need to block it or dissociate in order to function.

Talk to your rav about protecting the abuser. From what I was told, you're allowed to speak about abusive people to one specific person, in order to let it out. You don't need to tell anyone else, but there should be at least one person who you can tell.
 
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Mimi1022
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10/11/12 4:44 PM
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I'm not a doctor but personally, klonopin helps me with everything. Maybe if you get a prescription it could help?
 
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Dr. Lynn, Psy.D.
Psychologist

Posts: 914
Joined: Feb 2005

10/15/12 6:35 PM
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I think klonopin can be helpful in managing symptoms, and is sometimes enough. However, I don't think it can help people reprocess traumas, which is curative. The treatment I use most often for trauma is EMDR.
a lynn
 
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